My dream lineup of speakers for the RNC!!! Add yours here!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

1. Ann Coulter on Islam
2. Michael Savage on anything
3. Rick Santorum (CONFIRMED!!!)
4. Rush Limbaugh on the dangers of drug abuse
5. Bill O'Reilly on how he feels about liberals (spit guard needed for teleprompter)
6. Pat Buchanan on "the gays and how they are destroying American culture"
7. Jenna bush on the importance of non-verbal language when dealing with alcoholic fathers
8. Of course, bush himself.....for three HOURS (goo ga freedom goo ga terror goo ga freedom goo ga terror)

Any other suggestions?

[bossfish]

1. Eric Cartman discussing "hippies"

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

2. Ooo good one!

LOL

[tcfrogs]

31. Too funny!!!!!!!

[unfrigginreal]

3. 2 more

B-1 Bob(Dornan)
Bob Barr

[RobertSeattle]

4. Former Comedian Dennis Miller?

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

9. Oh that's classic

how did I forget that very unfunny man?

And he should definitely be booked AS a comedian, so people expect him to be funny!

Evil grin.

[tnlefty]

Newt Gingrinch should discuss the 'sanctity of marriage' and how to skip

out on your child support payments, and many other 'family values' related topics.

[sundancekid]

5. Michael Reagan on the value of Honest Family Relationships

[NewJeffCT]

6. George W Bush on nuke-a-ler proliferation and

In addition to Pat Buchanan, the Rev. Jerry Falwell to highlight the important parts of Buchanan's speech.

Sam Brownshirt on separation of church & state (isn't he the guy that lives in some sort of church-subsidized home in DC?)

[tridim]

7. Mr Burns..

Discussing his plan to block out the sun and his other plan to "slant-drill" oil all over the planet.

Eeeexcellent!

[bossfish]

8. Paul Wolfowitz on personal grooming tips...

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

10. Hee hee.

[Scorpious_Maximus]

11. Robert Novak on National Security

[Fenris]

12. Adolph H. - "The Virtues of Strong, Pre-Emptive Foreign Policy"

[AntiCoup2K4]

17. Think they could convince Satan to let him out of Hell?

I'm sure if they let Grandpa Prescott come up with him, he could translate it from the original German.

[Fenris]

19. They have a "red phone" for just such occasions.

A direct line to the Horned One.

[slappypan]

13. Katharine Harris on Voting Rights

Anthony Scalia on Judicial ethics
Clarence Thomas on women's issues
Jack! Ryan on the sanctity of marriage
Trent Lott on race relations
Lynne Cheney on writing lesbian western novels as a path to self-actualization

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

24. What a great list!!!

We can only hope, eh?

[Scorpious_Maximus]

14. John Ashcroft on civil rights

[Scorpious_Maximus]

15. Ken Lay on Corporate Responsibility and or Energy Policy

[AntiCoup2K4]

16. Pat Robertson

Speaking about how GOP stands for "God's Only Party"

[Scorpious_Maximus]

18. Condi Rice on the Importance of Everyone Learning to Read

[kwolf68]

20. Other suggestons

-Rush Limbaugh will speak on family values and the institution of marriage
-Pat Robertson will speak about Jesus Christs’ desire for peace on earth
-Michael Savage will give a lecture on respectful discourse in a free society
-Sean Hannity will speak on “the objectivity of the human race”
-Bill Bennett will speak live from Las Vegas concerning the moral decay of our society
-John Ashcroft will speak eloquently about the virtues of the 1st amendment
-A yet un-named Republican will speak about how bad secondary public education is bad and we need to quit spending money on these terrible teachers and the bureaucracy who have no accountability.
-Another yet un-named Republican will then ask those same terrible teachers and the bureaucracy who have no accountability to promote our religious values.
-Larry Craig will speak on the benefits of ozone depletion
-Tom DeLay will promote the idea that pollution does not exist and for a prop, he will find the nearest lake with signs posted that say “Do Not Swim Here because the water is polluted with toxins”, and take a dive.
-Dick Armey will speak about how the Government has few responsibilities: One of which is to protect, promote and even invest in the private enterprise system.
-Ann Coulter will speak on feminism and civil discourse among different religions
-Jame Inhofe will speak about the prison system
-Saxby Chambliss will speak of his time serving in the US Military and the virtues of war
-JC Watts will speak about children born out of wedlock.

-Jack Ryan will serve as “entertainment coordinator.”
-Arnold Swaztikanegger will host the female delegates
-Helen Chenowith will host the male delegates
-CNN will serve as Main Media Coordinator in conjunction with FoxNews

[tridim]

21. Jack Van Impe

with his forecast for the impending Apocalypse.

[Scorpious_Maximus]

22. Saddam Hussein on the Importance of the UN

[KansDem]

23. David Duke on cultural diversity and the American melting pot (eom)

[Cybergata]

25. Abbe Hoffman

Abbe Hoffman to discuss how we can beat drug tests
The Grateful Dead including Jerry Garcia opening the convention with Cosmic Charlie because this is my dream
Rush Lamebrain in a debate with Micheal Moore about American Morals
A nude forum of Brad Pitt discussing the History of Politics in the U.S. with Johnny Depp (again my dream)
Albert Einstein to explain why governments are totally insane to build up stock piles of NUKES
Bobby Kennedy to speak about anything because we need to be reminded of the dreams our nation once had
Of course when the National At hem is sung, have Jimi Hendrix play it instead
John Stewart, Chris Rock & Al Frankin to discuss all the important points of the convention
:hippie:

[Minstrel Boy]

26. Osama bin Laden on Bush family values.

The Anthrax Mailer on the virtue of fear.

[Scorpious_Maximus]

27. Karl Rove on Values

[0007]

28. Jeff Sessions of Alabama - U.S. Senator

On how wonderful junior is and the tough job he's doing so well.

[bo44]

29. William Bennet on how to be a virtuos asshole and gamble away your $

from your grandkids trust funds.

[Scorpious_Maximus]

30. Ari Fleischer on Free Speech

[Scorpious_Maximus]

32. Wolf Blitzer, Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson on Liberal Media Bias

[lapislzi]

33. Judge Roy Moore

on the separation of church and state

[Scorpious_Maximus]

34. Dick Cheney on WMD

[bossfish]

35. John Cornyn on making your Box turtle happy...

[DemWitch]

36. a few more

Phyllis Schlaffly orating on the advances made in women's rights.

Karen Hughes' speech on the Democrats obsession with Clinton, pointing out that Reagan was in fact God.

Dr. Laura on biblical factoids of Republican Supremecy.

Barbara Olsen (recently ressurected from hell) to once again point out that no Republican has ever received oral stimulation in the Oval Office, or ever will, thereby saving our children from having to hear about it 24/7 on the news.

Dan Quayle on the importance of education.

Murphy Brown on the importance of Dan Quayle's education.

Laura Bush on the importance of driver's education.

Chief Justice Rhenquist on the danger of decisions passed by liberal appointed judges, and the need for more conservative judges to be appointed to further the conservative point of view that can't be legally initiated.

<can't help it> Rush speaking on the importance of cheaper prescription medications for our seniors... and others in need.

[themonster]

37. Lineup

Hannity.

[Scorpious_Maximus]

38. ChickenHawks on veteran's benefits - BUSH, CHENEY, WOLFIE