The Unofficial Republican Convention party and seminar schedule

[KelleyKramer]

I still havent finished this but figured I would throw it on here and see what you folks think so far ......

THE UNOFFICIAL REPUBLICAN CONVENTION PARTY AND SEMINAR SCHEDULE ----

Casino Gambling Junket - hosted by Bill Bennett

Rush Limbaugh heroin party

John Fund girlfriend beaters party.

Abortion party - co-hosted by Bob Barr and John Fund.

"Convicted felons who served in the Bush administration" reception, co-hosted by Elliott Abrams and John Poindexter.

Drunk Driving Convicts Ball - headlined by George Bush and Dick Cheney.

War Profiteering and Graft Seminar - sponsored by Halliburton and The Carlyle Group.

Go F*ck Yourself America party - headline speaker the honorable Dick Cheney.

Morning seminar- How to lie under oath to a grand jury investigating Bush White House treason

Gay Republicans who hate gays Symphony Ball- co-hosted by Matt Drudge and Andrew Sullivan.

Xenophobe End-note Book Party- hosted by Ann Coulter

American Patriots for Treason Party- host Bob Novak

Screw you California Bash- co-hosted by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Ken Lay

Seminar- How to steal an election without a paper trail- sponsored by Diebold and ESS

"The friendly caterpillar" book reading- George Bush

Drown the Calico Cat Party- host John Ashcroft

Seminar- How to steal millions in campaign funds and get away with it- instructor Tom Delay

Sex Swingers Wife Swapping party- hosts Mr and Mrs Jack Ryan

Seminar- Kick-backs and Bribes 101 - instructor: former Connecticut Gov. John Rowland (direct cable feed from state prison)

Mission Accomplished Bash - (update- due to a scheduling conflict with the war-profiteering seminar, this has been canceled)

Tequila Blow-out! -co-hosts the Bush daughters

Seminar- How to shill and Lie on TV 101- co-instructors Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity

"Known Unknowns" Concert -host Donald Rumsfeld

Reverend Moon mass wedding (Guinness world record set for most Stepford Wives in one place)

Computer Hacking 101- instructed by Republican Senate staffers.

George Bush bicycle party.

Media Censorship in Three Easy Steps- co-sponsors Clear Channel, Viacom, the Sinclair Group

Republican ChickenHawk draft dodgers party - NO deferments allowed! This will be THE party of the convention, ALL the heavy hitters of the Republican party will be there.

[RobertSeattle]

1. Add some dates and times (maybe even room #s)

Makes it look more believable...

:evilgrin:

[Kikosexy2]

3. I wanna...

sign up for the Go F*#K yourself party--is it bring your own beer and sex toys?? Can a friend and I come dressed naked with big bushy vaginas and call ourselves the Bush Twins? (great Halloween costume).

[qanda]

2. I think it's great

It needs something about their diversity. Perhaps an African Americans for Bush Party hosted by Trent Lott.

[KelleyKramer]

4. Maybe an elevator party??

Or possibly the 'blacks for Republicans phone booth party' sponsored by Clarence Thomas.

[qanda]

5. I like it

Sounds good to me. Black Republican party hosted by Clarence Thomas (to be held in lobby phone booth).

[Arkana]

6. You forgot some stuff, lol

Transcript and Video Editing, hosted by Bill O'Reilly (1:00, after Tequila Blow-Out, Room 103)

How to Torture and Abuse POWs (And How To Get Away With It Even If They're Innocent Civilians), hosted by Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz, along with Pentagon demonstrators (2:30, after Drunk Driving Convicts Ball, Conference Room C)

Maintaining Your Stepford Wife 101, co-hosted by George W. and Laura Bush (3:00, after Rush Limbaugh Heroin Party, Conference Room A)

How are these?

[KelleyKramer]

8. ROTFLMAO!!

Excellent! I'm going to use those if its ok with you.

You and the other poster are right.. it looks a lot better with the meeting room/locations listed.

[Kikosexy2]

10. And there's...

Bill Oh Really's "Shut Up" Party!
Jenna Bush's Beer-bust and Tongue-Lashing Party!
Katherine Harris Make-up Tips From Tammy Faye Seminar!
Rush Limpballs Pill Popping Party--uppers, downers, you name it--all from Canada (for cheap no doubt).

[democrat_patriot]

7. Change Rush to painkillers (sp) party.

Or - Marriage Counseling 101 with Rush Limbaugh. (Spouse optional)

Adminstration veterans of War - cancelled due to deferments. Or 'Been deferred 6 times'

Show me the Money! - Dick Cheney and Haliburton Board of Directors

Energy Task Force Defined - (Undisclosed location - speaker list censored due to national security)


LOOKS GREAT!!!

[KelleyKramer]

11. Instructors: Newt Gingrich and 3 of his ex-wives

Great suggestions!

Marriage Counseling 100 - Instructors: Newt Gingrich and 3 of his ex-wives

[terrya]

9. Rick Santorum's "Beastiality fantasies...they're ok!" seminar.