I don't quite get those "Support Gay Marriage" ads on AAR.

[skypilot]

You know, the ones that feature a gay or lesbian couple apparently having some sort of relationship problem and then a voice-over says something like, "You know what's wrong with gay marriage? The same thing that's wrong with straight marriages. Support gay marriage".

I'm not understanding this approach.

[neebob]

1. Sounds like the message is that gay couples are just like hetero couples.

[skypilot]

2. I understand that much but...

...the ads I've heard so far seem to focus on gay couples in crisis. I realize that they are saying that gay and straight marriages can have problems but somehow focusing on the problems in a marriage (gay or straigh) seems to undermine the ads intent: to support marriage. Maybe it's just me, but these ads just rub me wrong. Frankly, I find the ads to be somewhat depressing.

[neebob]

3. Good point. I'd have to hear the ad to comment further.

Unfortunately, I live in Outofthewayville and my speakers are broken, so I can't listen to AAR.

[skypilot]

4. Can't listen to AirAmerica.

That sucks. You have my sympathy. I love AAR but sometimes something like these commercials just leave me scratching my head.

[hangemhigh]

5. Thank you, Skypilot

I thought it was just me! Comparing gay and straight marriage problems doesn't fly when you consider the divorce rate among straights-It's hardly something to aspire to.

Generally speaking, my gay friends' committed relationships are much more stable over the long term anyway. Yeah, this ad doesn't really reach me as a gay friendly 45 year old.

[prayin4rain]

6. It reminds me of the whole "sanctity" argument.

Because of the divorce rate. My aunt has been married SEVEN times, but yeah gay people are going to ruin the sanctity of marriage..oh please. Anyway that is what your description makes me think of.

[skypilot]

7. I half expect the voice-over to say...

..."gay marriage, straight marriage---they all suck. Let gay people be miserable too". That just about sums up the tone of those commercials.

[Inland]

8. They should balance with some other, not-problem mundane thing

So far, the message seems to be that gay marriages are just as bad as het marriages, and that's where you see the lack of a positive message.

Maybe they felt that depicting happiness would seem too naive and pollyanish to married guys like me!

[skypilot]

11. naive and pollyanish.

You're probably right but they have swung too far in the other direction. An ad with a gay or lesbian couple talking about making the mortgage payment or something would be less off-putting.

[Not Me]

9. I guess I hadn't thought of it that way...

Perhaps a different situation: "Guess what, I got a promotion today..."

[eaprez]

10. Having a spat because one is late for dinner is hardly

a crisis......the ads I heard are about the irritations of daily life......

[skypilot]

12. The ad you are talking about...

...sounded to me like a couple where one was cheating on the other and that's why he was late. The whole "had to stay late at the office" thing sounds like a tip-off, albeit a cliched one. The other ad I heard had two lesbians arguing in a restaurant. They sounded like couples in crisis to me. Even if I am overstating it (and I don't think I am), the commercials are still pretty depressing and I don't think they are effective.

[eaprez]

14. didn't sound like that to me...you can read anything into it

that you want....people do work late for the sake of work and not cheating. not a crisis.

[skypilot]

16. Fine.

Substitute "couple having problems" for "couple in crisis". My problem with the commercial remains.

[Connie_Corleone]

13. You can't tell the couples are straight or gay in the ads.

You only hear one person fussing at someone else, or leaving a message that they're late. You can't tell if the married couples are straight or gay. The point is that marriage is the same, straight or gay.

[skypilot]

15. My main point is that the commercial are depressing.

As a gay man I assume that the couples in the ads are gay since it is an ad about supporting gay marriage. Either way the ads are depressing and make me think more about marital problems than about supporting marriage.

[Connie_Corleone]

17. I agree on that point.

It make me think, why in the world would I ever want to get married and have those problems?

[TrogL]

18. Gay people are "people" Gay marriages are "marriages"

for better or for worse.

The meme that has been working best for the LGBT community is that LGBT people are "people" first and LGBT secondarily. They have the same problems other people do; bills, dental problems, health problems, car crashes, misbehaving pets. Gay relationships are relationships just like any others with the same joys and problems. A "marriage" is a relationship sanctioned by some body, the state and/or or the church.

The Catholic church will not sanction a "marriage" between two divorced people. The State cannot force them to. The United Church of Canada for reasons of its own wishes to allow LGBT people to "marry" under their sanction, for better or worse. There is no conceivable argument the State can make to prevent this. No other church will be required to sanction this relationship.