"Canada Wins Battle of Toledo" - if Fallujah were on the other foot.

[Minstrel Boy]

Lots of hyperlinks to stories of which the satire is a reflection.

Canada Wins Battle of Toledo
Dec 1, 2004
Mark Ferner

...

Canadian officials decided that Toledo, home to 300,000 people, and a regional hotbed of resistance to the puppet government installed by Ottawa, must be pacified in order to participate in free elections scheduled for January.

Last month, Canadian Air Force and artillery began shelling Toledo, particularly the South End, home to the worst of the insurgents. Soldiers shut off the city's water. Around the clock, sound trucks alternately blared French rap music and Quebec opera. Residents were warned to leave, except males between 15 and 50. These suspected insurgents were turned back, forced to await the invasion. Between 80-90 percent of Toledoans packed up and fled. Busy intersections like Front and Main, and Byrne and Glendale became deserted. Schools were left vacant. Voices of security guards echoed through empty shopping malls.

102,000 Toledoans are now living in Bowling Green, 50,000 are in Monroe, 21,000 in Defiance, 18,000 in Grand Rapids, 12,000 in Tiffin, and some 40,000 are scattered in rural areas of northwest Ohio. Refugees lucky enough to be taken in are reported living seven families to a home. Others are in camps with up to 300 people per toilet. Nighttime temperatures are below freezing. Diarrhea and malnutrition have been killing the very young and the very old for weeks.

After Canadian gunships, helicopters, and fighter planes rocketed and strafed much of the city and artillery barrages ceased, thousands of Canadian Army and Marines, bone-weary and under constant attack, methodically pushed block by block through Toledo, beginning in Point Place and moving south. The most common tactic used was to kick in a door, spray the interior with machine gun fire, look for insurgents, and repeat, street after street for a week.

...

http://www.antiwar.com/orig/ferner.php?articleid=4087

[LisaM]

1. Toledo is a tough city to take -- Michigan tried, but Ohio got it

No, seriously. There has already been a battle for Toledo. Ohio got it and of course, nothing good has happened to Toledo since. And now this!