2008 Headlines after 4 more years of Bush

[NewJeffCT]

OK, I have seen enough of those Democrat bashing "future" headlines the past few weeks, so I decided to make up a few of my own from 2008 after four more years of Bush. Feel free to comment or add more of your own:

John Smith of Houston becomes 1 millionth draftee, likely headed to North Korean front

Jack Johnson of Atlanta is 25,000th US serviceman killed in Iraq as Shia and Sunni factions battle for control of Baghdad in second year of civil war

After repeal of anti-trust laws, Wal-Mart's flurry of acquisitions ends with their controlling entire retail sector of US economy

Latest terror attacks likely means New York martial law extension through 2009. Election will go with only 49 states says President.

Right to attorney repealed – "It may aid terrorists" says AG Gonzalez

Employer paid health insurance, which disappeared in 2006, makes a return as a perk for CEOs.

Murdoch acquires NBC from GE and ABC from Disney, consolidates them under Fox banner. Sean Hannity to get lead anchor job at ABC, Ann Coulter to NBC

Dollar rebounds to yearly high of nearly 1 Japanese yen per dollar

Unemployment dips below 15% for first time since early 2007. President announces, "We have turned the corner," and cites repeal of minimum wage laws as main factor.

Inflation averages over 20% for second consecutive year. George Soros and EU blamed.

Chief Justice Scalia upholds South Carolina law banning all abortions, Justice Ashcroft writes majority decision. 15 states expected to follow suit.

With millions staggering under heavy debt, indentured servitude makes a return as a way to pay off debt.

Gay relocation program offering one way trips to Europe entering second year

Medicare and Social Security now totally privatized. Bush states goal for his brother Jeb should be to privatize the military.

[deutsey]

1. Bush Declared Emperor God

[sniffa]

2. finaL stages of "finaL soLution" to commence

[frogfromthenorth2]

3. Scott Peterson's appeal heard today...

[da_chimperor]

5. Lol, they would include that n/t

[sam sarrha]

4. funny,,, but no one will be able to afford a paper by then.. and if so it

just all be state propaganda anyway

[YDogg]

6. Wal*Mart Prediction ...

"After repeal of anti-trust laws, Wal-Mart's flurry of acquisitions ends with their controlling entire retail sector of US economy"

My prediction is that Wal*Mart will eventually sponsor candidates for office (openly, rather than semi-openly, as they do now). Wal*Mart will own as much as they want to.

[BR_Parkway]

10. A new 3rd party - Rollbacker's n/t

[McKenzie]

7. like one of those Furry Freak Brothers sketches

when Fat Freddy wakes up and sez "Whew, I just had a wierd dream" and Freewheelin' Franklin replies..."a dream huh?" I think there's one sketch where the Feds raid the pad and Freddy assumes they're looking for money but the Feds laugh, saying it's worthless these days - it's smut they're really after. Does this chime?

[AllegroRondo]

8. Chocolate Ration increased to 30 Grams

And we are at war with Eastasia, not Eurasia

[global1]

9. Our Long National Nightmare......

has just begun!!!!!

[unblock]

11. you don't understand. the headlines will be (hell, already are) co-opted:

for instance, your "After repeal of anti-trust laws, Wal-Mart's flurry of acquisitions ends with their controlling entire retail sector of US economy" headline is more likely to read:

ANTITRUST LAWS GIVE WAY TO INCREASED COMPETITION
wal-mart's battles with subsidiaries for lowest prices

see, THIS is how a monopoly looks when the media plays along!


and this one is just WAY off: "With millions staggering under heavy debt, indentured servitude makes a return as a way to pay off debt."

try this instead:

MASSIVE JOBS PROGRAM, MILLIONS CLEAR OUT CRUSHING DEBT
bush's "sensitive slavery" program a major success

[NewJeffCT]

14. good one

Though, I might not say "sensitive slavery"

Massive Jobs Program Helps Millions Clear Out Crushing Debt
Bush touts success of "National Service for Debt" Program

[EC]

12. I think I'll

join my gay daughter so I can be sent to Europe.

[Minstrel Boy]

13. "Operation Paul Revere Flushes Out Caracas Insurgents"

"Oil hits 6-month low of $40/Gallon"

"President Elect Bush Vows to Continue Brother's Legacy"

Is it too early to start drinking?