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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 06:56 PM
Original message
"You're assuming kids want to have sex."
I just saw a report on CBS news on abstinence only education. A Dr. in sexual health, an old looking out of touch with reality guy said the above. He said condoms promote sexual activity and do not protect kids enough. A parent and children in the report said that more than abstinence needs to be taught. The parent said that people need to recognize that these kids have raging hormones and a brain. Let's teach them how to use them.

Abstinence Only is such a pos program!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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BlueEyedSon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
1. How did the USA get to be a backward nation?
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Cory Laf Donating Member (17 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:01 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. 4 years
The "moral" administration declared sex is bad, unless it involves a certain pastor, who happened to openly support George Bush's '04 campaign, and little boys.
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idiosyncratic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:01 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Religion, instead of rationality. eom
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Chandler Stork Donating Member (39 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:01 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. Years of declining education standards.
Starting with the Reagan years. Often I'm suspicious that this is intentional and going exactly according to plan.
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CrispyQ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:07 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. So true!
After all, you can manipulate uneducated people more easily. Especially if you get them addicted to 'stuff.' Very quickly, that becomes all they care about -- their next fix of new stuff.
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imenja Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:00 PM
Response to Original message
2. abstinence is taught
and it's shown to have no effect on sexual behavior, other than those who seek abstinence only education are less likely to use birth control when they do have sex.
Not only that, some of the programs deliberately spread misinformation. When are they going to figure out the well-being of their children is more important than ideology?
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Kber Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:07 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. Hey - I fully plan on taking the "sex is for grow-ups" line w/ my kids
but they sure as shit will know when and how to use a condom too!!

No harm in covering your bases - it doesn't seem like an either / or kinda thing to me.
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donco6 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #2
16. They don't believe that.
Edited on Mon Dec-13-04 09:15 PM by donco6
"When are they going to figure out the well-being of their children is more important than ideology?"

They believe it's being unfaithful to their religion to put personal matters ahead of their "faith" (or, in reality, false dogma).

My partner is a high school counselor. He's seen so many kids kicked out of their home for being gay, and it's ALWAYS a religious home. They put their dogma ahead of the well-being of their children all the time.

Another example: spanking. In my fundamentalist days, we were taught that spanking was essential in raising a child. I'm not married, but my married friends applied this with gusto regularly. Our church meetings were punctuated by the howls of kids being disciplined in the back room every week.

On edit: spelling.
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GiovanniC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 12:52 PM
Response to Reply #2
29. What Kind of Misinformation Do You Mean?
Are you trying to tell me that my sex-ed class was wrong and that my male parts will not shrivel up and fall off if I have sex with a girl?

DAMMIT! I've got some time to make up for now.

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knowbody0 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:02 PM
Response to Original message
6. tell that to all the 13 y/o boys with carnivals in their jeans
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #6
14. No kidding
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #6
30. Now THAT'S funny!
It brings SUCH a mental image.
Thanks for the laugh.
I can still remember my "carnival" days.
How the hell did we ever survive that?
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Throckmorton Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #30
36. I survived it because it only seemed like I had
Edited on Tue Dec-14-04 02:16 PM by Throckmorton
a baseball bat in my pants. In all reality I don't think anyone ever noticed it when Mr. Happy woke up. Not that it didn't feel like every person in JHS was looking.
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readmylips Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:10 PM
Response to Original message
9. Anything animal or human WILL HAVE SEX....
that's how the machinery works. Ignorance is sooo beautiful.
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gratuitous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:21 PM
Response to Original message
10. Teach kids how to manage their bodies?
Hell no! And, we should give kids loaded guns because the Constitution says so, but not give them any instruction on their safe use and handling.

You wouldn't do it with a gun. Why would you do that to kids with their penises or vaginas?
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slutticus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:22 PM
Response to Original message
11. A Dr. in sexual health?
WTF is that? I've never heard of such a thing....unless.....

see this thread....
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x1068560
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 09:01 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. I believe that is what it said
or perhaps sexual studies? He had developed this abstinence only bovine excrement for several school districts. He sounded like he was completely out of touch with reality and mentally disturbed. The CBS story definitely was slanted in favor of better education.
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AnnInLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 07:28 PM
Response to Original message
12. I teach in a public high school,
and no one has to assume they want to have sex....they ARE having sex. And it's viewed as a very casual thing, as casual as shaking hands. If you have children in the public schools today, and want to know one thing you can personally do to improve your local public school system, then lobby for realistic sex education, beginning in the lower grades.
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Yupster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 09:10 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. Our middle school teachers
are telling us the kids are real into oral sex in the bathrooms these days.

That's sixth and seventh graders.

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AnnInLa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 07:07 AM
Response to Reply #15
20. Clinton's fault (of course)
Heard someone on TV commenting that Clinton started this country's epidemic of school kids having oral sex...he said they think it's not really having "sexual relations"...they think anything short of intercourse is not really sex, thanks to Bill...so said the idiot on TV...me thinks they just like it
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 01:15 PM
Response to Reply #20
33. well, back in the early 80s
Back in the early 80s, when I was in high school, I remember stories of how some freshman girl at a party went around and gave oral to all the guys there... and, this was in a small town with about 400 people total in the high school. And, I also remember how, in junior high/middle school, our star basketball player & the head cheerleader were caught "doing it" in the boy's locker room.

So, I say it was Reagan who caused it!

By the way - we also had a CYO basketball team (Christian Youth Organization or Catholic Youth Organization?) at the 7th/8th grade level lose a New England basketball championsip because they were all hung over. I was not on the team, but was friends with most of the guys. This would have been around '80 or '81.



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donco6 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 09:21 PM
Response to Reply #12
17. Too late.
We have a state law in Colorado that requires parents to "opt in" to any sex education class. Not "opt out", where if they object to the course, they can keep their kid out - these have to be "opt in", where the parents specifically give permission for every student in the class to participate.

We can never afford to have a class, because we don't have staff available to teach a half-empty room. That would mean that somewhere else in the building there are classes with 1/2 again as many students as there should be - or even more. We're already working to reduce class sizes, this would just reintroduce it again. And THEN, when you finally do hit something controversial, half of the class that's LEFT would be up in arms about whatever.

It's just all so frustrating and impossible. We're slipping faster into the backwater of culture.

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merbex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 01:52 PM
Response to Reply #12
35. My daughter is a sophmore in HS;she says that there are
kids (unlike in my day)who actively go aroung LOUDLY proclaiming that they have taken the virginity pledge. Frankly, even in those days I would never have discussed my sexual life - or lack of one. But I never met anyone who announced they were taking a virginity pledge either- I graduated in '78

As a parent, I want my children educated about sexual matters in a responsible manner - I'm all for sex ed. I want my daughters on birth control once they have a serious boyfriend. I refuse to forget what it's like to be a teenager.

There's my pledge
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taught_me_patience Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 09:23 PM
Response to Original message
18. we should be giving condoms out in schools
kids should be instructed to *always* use a condom so that it becomes routine.


taught.
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elehhhhna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 01:43 PM
Response to Reply #18
34. just like bike-helmets. Routine use becomes the norm. However:
Condoms aren't 100%--no form of birth control is. Teens need to know that they'd better be prepared to raise a child with any person they have sex with--(girls can abort but boys don't get a choice)That should put a damper on the "Carnival".

There was a study of young Catholic women years ago to determine why their abortion rates were high. The majority chose to avoid using birth control because it's a sin every time you use it, whereas an abortion only counts for ONE sin, versus several. It's all in the numbers.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-13-04 09:39 PM
Response to Original message
19. I think sexual education should be the responsibility of the parents
Then everyone can tell their kids what they want them to know and can deal with the consequences themselves.
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phylny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 07:57 AM
Response to Reply #19
23. As parents of three girls, we've made it our responsibility.
We talk to them all the time about the benefits of abstaining, those benefits including being able to have fun with your friends, going to dances and proms, remaining in athletics, enjoying college, avoiding STDs that may hamper your fertility later, avoiding HIV, etc. We've talked to them about how difficult the decision would be for them on whether to have an abortion or to have the baby if they got pregnant.

Additionally, we've talked to them about how guys approach sex, my line usually being, "A 16-year-old boy isn't interested in your pleasure, in how you feel. At that moment, he's looking out for his own pleasure, and he'll probably blab afterward. When boys turn into men, they're more ready to have the pleasure be mutual. Even though it's cliche, if he cares about you, the REAL you, he won't ever force you or make you feel badly if you don't want to have sex."

Finally, yes, we've said that if you do make a choice to be sexually active, you need condoms to protect yourself against STDs and pregnancy, and while they're effective, they're not foolproof.

I must add that every school district we've lived in (in Indiana, Illinois, Virginia and New York) has had great health classes that parents opt OUT of. The rate of attendance has usually been high.
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 12:46 PM
Response to Reply #23
25. I think that as a compromise
there should be the explicit sexual education courses which teaches everything from abstinence, use of birth control, diseases, etc... to the fundie classes for the ignorant i.e. abstinence only. The parents can choose which they want for their child.

And yes, sexual education should be the responsibility of the parent but not all parents will do it. Mine never did and I have pretty good parents. I certainly don't want my daughter being influenced by some ignorant guy whose parents never told him anything even if I have explained things to my daughter.
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KlatooBNikto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 07:17 AM
Response to Original message
21. Doctor, if I were you, I will teach kids how to have more sex without
worrying about sexually transmitted diseases.The only abstinence I want to see taught is ABSTINENCE FROM WAR AND VIOLENCE.
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BlueEyedSon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 08:15 AM
Response to Reply #21
24. Amen to that!
Funny what these folks think is bad/immoral/destructive.....
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Spacemom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 07:50 AM
Response to Original message
22. I will never understand
The logic behind not giving kids the information and tools to protect themselves.

It's just more Christian based ideology masquerading as Policy.

This country seems to only move backwards. :mad:
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 12:48 PM
Response to Reply #22
26. When there is no separation of church and state
Yep. We move backwards. Stupid lunacy in the White House and fundie school boards!!!!!!!!!!
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DoNotRefill Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 12:48 PM
Response to Original message
27. Videogames....
are far more efficient in promoting abstinence than abstinence programs are.
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 12:59 PM
Response to Reply #27
31. That is great comment and true!
I am going to use that one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 12:49 PM
Response to Original message
28. I'm also assuming that the sun will come up tomorrow.
But that's just because it always has.
;-)
(OK, I know it doesn't really. The earth rotates. Just a figure of speech.)
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UdoKier Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 01:00 PM
Response to Original message
32. Abstinence only is also hypocritical and condescending.
Edited on Tue Dec-14-04 01:03 PM by UdoKier
Kids are aware that the vast majority of adults lost their virginity and were sexually active long before marriage. How hypocritical to insist that our kids that they wait for marriage!

I plan to tell my kids to go at their own pace and do what they feel is right, but I will be very firm on the point that they WILL use protection if needed and that I will be furious if they bring home a baby before they are married and educated and employed.
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Sub Zero Donating Member (57 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Dec-14-04 02:51 PM
Response to Original message
37. You know abstinence education doesn't matter
I just graduated from high school this year, and I bought all my friends who were still not educated enough about sex sex ed books, as well as tons of publications I got from planned parenthood (that were VERY nicely written) about contraception, morning after, and healthy ideas.

I did this after one of my friends got pregnant and I realized she was not even familiar with her anatomy. At that point I realized education sucked and it pissed me off. I helped her pay for an abortion, and she's fine now. (and she always makes sure she's on birth control & has her partner use condoms now)

If the state won't do it most people have a friend that will look out for them. So screw what the state teaches (or doesn't teach). The state isn't the only source of information thank god.

I wish there was sex ed so peoples lives weren't ruined, but the right wingers in this state will always screw that up.
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