Christian fundie review of "Spongebob Squarepants" movie:

[JohnnyRingo]

Better leave the kids at home for this one.

<excerpted>
Parental warnings are nearly inexhaustible in considering this film. Please do not be deceived by the light-hearted, cute trailers for this cartoon and take your kids to see it assuming it will be clean, innocent fun. Many parents would not find this material suitable viewing for children.

There is nudity throughout the movie. We view Patrick's bare buttocks during three scenes, and SpongeBob's once. At one point, Patrick surprises SpongeBob at a community gathering by swinging over the crowd, naked, holding a sign between his buttocks which bears a message to his friend. SpongeBob and Patrick are also shown in their underwear a few times. The underwear is drawn to look like men's fitted briefs.

These characters are not real, and are not even human, so many may choose to gloss over the animated nude scenes, though it sends a wrong message to children that it's okay to pull down one's pants for a laugh.

If the writers of this production are so lacking in talent that this base attempt at humor was the best they could come up with, one might suggest that they give up trying.

Sexual innuendo is present, as Patrick is enamored with Mindy and flirts with her constantly, telling her she's "hot" and asking her at one point if she wants to see his underwear. Will there be little boys on school playgrounds getting charged with sexual harassment after mimicking this sort of behavior coming from their lovable cartoon friend?

Patrick also displays sexual perversion in the final scene, when he attends a rock concert wearing fishnet stockings and women's black leather boots.

<entire review here>

http://www.christiananswers.net/spotlight/movies/2004/thespongebobsquarepantsmovie.html

[Jesus H. Christ]

1. The same people took their 4-year-olds to The Passion.

Crazy ain't it?

[mattclearing]

Your Buddy Christ Avatar Rules.

, he said as he looked to the Buddy Christ on top of his monitor.

:)

[LondonReign2]

27. Well of Course!

Violence & Torture = A-OK!
Sex = Evil

Didn't you know?

[rkc3]

2. Keep in mind this was probably written while the author...

Actually, I won't finish the thought about what the author was wearing/doing while writing about the secual perversion in the movie.

[BurgherHoldtheLies]

3. Now they're fighting Spongebob...the list of enemies never ends. LOL

[IHeart1993]

4. Only people with perverted minds would see anything

perverted.

[leftchick]

7. exactly....

and there certainly seem to be a lot of perverted fundies!

[Warpy]

12. Victorians would talk of piano limbs

because to say the word "leg," even when talking about a piece of furniture, was considered prurient.

I guess sanctimonious prudes will always be with us, and will always be laughable if we can keep them away from things that hurt the rest of us.

[comsymp]

28. That is SO not true!!!

Exhibit A:
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0403/spongebob.html

[Mz Pip]

5. Making some issue

out of a butt on a sponge boggles my mind.

So fish net stockings and black leather boots are sexual perversion? Now you tell me. :crazy:

Mz Pip
:dem:

[JohnnyRingo]

9. Unless Ann Coulter is wearing them, apparently.

Then it's conservative "fashion Chic".

[fob]

18. I believe they determined they were "perverted" because Patrick Star is a

boy! It would be OK if it was Patricia Star.

/oftheworldasweknowit

[beam me up scottie]

6. "These characters are not real, and are not even human"

:crazy: So they do know he's a SPONGE, right?

[Oreo]

8. You mean...

It's not okay to pull down one's pants for a laugh?

So that's why i got kicked out of church!!

My fundie sister doesn't let her kids watch Harry Potter because it shows witchcraft.

[Oreo]

10. Read the rest of these....

Great entertainment value reading these reviews.

Check out the review for Alexander:
Another possible element of the director's visions for this film is the relevance to the current war in Iraq. There are moments that can be inferred to relate to President Bush leading our country into war. After having conquered so much, Alexander wants to continue and conquer more, but the people are not with him. They say, “We’ve seen too many people die,” and exclaim how they want to see their families again. Alexander tries to keep it positive and promises them pensions, and boasts of how he took them farther than his father did. However, the film seemed neutral on the subject, not trying to take sides on this issue, and any reference to current events is subjective.

[msanthrope]

11. I nearly wet my pants laughing at this review---

No, really, it's hysterical. I know that the author didn't intend for it to be so, but it truly is a scream.

This is the only way to defeat the narrow-minded and self-righteous: laughter at the absolute absurdity of their Puritanism.

I hope PatriotBoy gets this.

[TyeDye75]

13. Sponge Bob is an awsome show

Winnie the pooh has been walking around without pants for ages

and many characters never wear any clothes.

Naked cartoon characters will be the downfall of western civilization.

[JohnnyRingo]

23. Good point....Donald and Daisy Duck, for instance.

she used to sashay that tail too, as I recall. LOL

[Ms_Mary]

14. I don't let my kindergartener watch Sponge Bob

but not for those reason. He saw it a couple of times and was picking up bad habits. Our kids are too commercialized. That's my beef with Sponge Bob.

[MadHound]

15. Damn, these fools get their knickers in a bunch at any excuse

"though it sends a wrong message to children that it's okay to pull down one's pants for a laugh." OK, tell that to the vast majority of people who have mooned somebody at least once in their life, even Christians. Geez folks, lighten up, it's a cartoon!

Next up, SpongeBob is the spawn of the devil.

[madinmaryland]

16. My son dresses that way,

and my daughter has seen the way he dressses. She justs laughs at it

[atommom]

17. There was a big brou-ha-ha a couple of years ago about how

SpongeBob was too "sexually ambiguous", and how that might lead children to see homosexuality as something less than an abomination. (Personally, I think Squidward is more likely to be gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Do these people have no sense of perspective? If they're worried about children's welfare, there are better things they could be doing. I really don't think that society is going to hell in a handbasket because someone drew buttcheeks on a sponge. The reasons, alas, are a lot more complicated that that. :P

[fob]

20. Squidward gay? Nahh, a loner, or eccentric maybe, not gay(not that

there's anything wrong witht hat as you and seinfeld say). Now Larry the Lobster, he may be overcompensating just a bit with his workouts to be extra manly, I think he's in denial as of yet.

[atommom]

21. Ever been to Venice Beach? He reminds me of those guys. Hmmm.

;)

[atommom]

19. Forgot to mention that he also has his own church!

http://www.churchofspongebob.org/

:D

[RUDUing2]

22. other kids films they found offensive or very offensive...

Agent Cody Banks, Balto II, Casper, Clueless, Dickie Roberts, Dodgeball, Dr. Doolittle, Forest Gump, Harry Potter (all three although they promote the anti-Harry Potter movie), Jurassic Park (I and II), Little Nicky, Look who's Talking, The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, The Nutty Professor, The Nutty Professor II, Scooby Doo, XMen II....

[JohnnyRingo]

24. Well...That just about covers them all, except....uhhh....ummm...

...No, that about covers all of them.

[kk897]

26. I find many these films offensive, too, although

they're offensive to my sense of taste and quality. I liked Clueless, Dodgeball, and X-Men, though...maybe it was because of the licentious and completely gratuitous deployment of squadrons of buttcheeks throughout each of them.

[atommom]

33. Squadrons of buttcheeks? What's not to love?

LOL!

[LondonReign2]

29. Juassic Park???

Ummm, let me guess...because the whole premise is based on the fact the world ISN'T only 6,000 years old?

[RUDUing2]

31. kindof...

".......Some remnants of truth can be found in dialogue such as "You did what you could, but didn't think if you should" and "God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs, God creates man, man destroys God, man creates dinosaurs." Unfortunately, these thoughts are perverted by the movie's unceasing barrage of evolutionist propaganda, including casual references to man and dinosaurs being separated by 65 million years, and other theories hopelessly unsubstantiated yet dressed as undeniable scientific fact. In summary, one of Jurassic Park's heroes states that if we just let evolution run its course, everything will be okay ("Life will find a way...evolution proves it.")

Beyond its anti-Biblical view of life's origin, Christian parents should be warned of the intensity with which the dinosaur attacks are depicted (primarily against the pre-teen grandchildren of the park's owner). Despite most children's fascination with dinosaurs, this is definitely not a movie for soft, impressionable hearts which could easily be terrorized by subsequent nightmares or even daytime fears from its scenes of stalking and dismemberments.

Aside from the film's often violent nature, there are relatively few profanities. Rare for most of today's secular movies, Jurassic Park does not feature any nudity or premarital sex, although one character flirts briefly with the female lead and mentions his many divorces.

While Jurassic Park does provide some amusement park-type thrills to the flesh, its evolutionist agenda only further contributes to what is -- ironically -- the title of its much awaited sequel... "The Lost World." "

[AngryWhiteLiberal]

25. Movie reviews from CLOSET SEXUAL DEVIANTS...call Dr. Freud.

Nothing like Puritanical/Victorian ideals of sex to MASK EXTREMELY WORRISOME thoughts of sexual urges and behavior. Can you say, "reaction-formation," Dr. Freud...

Yet another reason to question the sanity of Xtians who protest too much against perceived social deviancy.

JB

[neuvocat]

30. They also said that a Jar-Jar binks toy induces masturbation.

These people practically have form letters for their reviews, they're so predictable.

[AngryOldDem]

32. Just take these reviews for what they are....

...for entertainment purposes only...laugh, and move on. They're really not worth your time.

[muriel_volestrangler]

34. This is more serious than the stupid website review

Spongebob Squarepants rating: Canada G; UK U (equivalent of G); USA PG.

The MPAA is being influenced by these ridiculous reviews.

[neebob]

35. Well, I never!

I may have to go see that movie, after all. I wasn't going to because the voices don't sound right.

[walldude]

36. Now that was hilarious

OH MY GOD!!!! CALL THE MPAA!!!! THERE'S A NAKED SPONGE ON THE SCREEN!

[Undercover Owl]

37. review of "Surviving Christmas"

I think these people get offended pretty easily. Here's a review of "Surviving Christmas"

http://christiananswers.net/spotlight/movies/2004/survivingchristmas.html

[atommom]

38. Quote: "Pain in the A**’ once, A** twice, Sh** twice, Bull-Sh** once,

reference to the home as being a ‘Sh**-hole’ once, Bit** once, He** three times, and the Lord’s name taken in vain numerous times. The expletives ‘screw the family’ and being hit ‘..right in the nuts’ ... One of the contented “families” Drew’s character sees having a happy time on Christmas include a gay couple."

I wonder how many times the poor reviewer had to sit through this filth to catalogue all of the offenses like this? :)