Sexual Abuse in the Amish Community

[bleedingheart]

A friend of mine had told me about this case quite a while ago but I found this link and more details of the story. This story disturbs me in so many ways. The cult like behavior of the Amish is disturbing; people find them "quaint and cute" when they don't realize how that type of environment can lead to horrific abuse.


http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=316371&page=1

"Through the years, by Mary's account, she was raped by several different attackers. But one abused her more often than the others — her brother Johnny. Johnny, one of Mary's eight brothers, began assaulting her when he was 12 and she was 6. The assaults continued into her teen years, she said."
....

"Amish women are not taught anything about sex, according to Garrett, which makes it even harder for a girl who's being abused to describe what's happening to her.

Mary said she didn't know how to describe what was happening. "I thought they were being bad to me. That was the only word I had to express it," she said. "

...(the quote from the mother below is chilling)
"She said her mother told her, "You don't fight hard enough and you don't pray hard enough." Mary said her mother made her feel as if the assaults were her fault. "Every time I would talk about this she would say that they have already confessed in church and you're just being unforgiving," she said."

....and old Shrub wants these people's votes...he can have them for all I care given how twisted their society is...

[benburch]

1. Bush voters. nt

[Cuban_Liberal]

2. We live among them, and they're not twisted or a 'cult'

We live in the heart of Illinois' Amish country, and I saw that 20/20 piece. What happened there is not 'tyipcal' of Amish life or culture. There is no evidence whatsoever that such occurrences are widespread within Amish society.

[THUNDER HANDS]

6. how would there be evidence?

they're a closed society. The only way evidence would get out is if someone were to break the code of silence.

I bet stuff like this is very rampant in Amish communities, just like sexual abuse is rampant in the Catholic Church, and has been going on for years.

Just because someone's never spoken out about it until now doesn't mean its not going on.

[bleedingheart]

8. be honest, they are a cult...just an old one...

they have a specific religous dogma, they close off their society, they refuse to use "modern" conveniences...although this has been changing over time...

What I find amusing about them is that some groups of Amish here in PA feel that they are exempt from state law/taxes but yet many of their children receive state medicaid....To be honest I am glad that they do take their kids to the hospitals because in some cases the more strict orders have let children die rather than use "english" medicine.

[JNelson6563]

20. This is very much like Jehovah's Witnesses

and there are countless stories from girls of how they were raped/abused by "elders" in the borg but the borg is more interested in keeping it secret so as not to sully the name of their precious publishing company masquerading as a religion.

Julie

[Harry S Truman]

13. Buy a clue

Come to Pennsylvania and live among these nutcake Amish loonies. If they're not beating their horses, they're abusing their women.

[Skittles]

22. my uncle grabbed a whip from an Amish man beating his horse

and beat the man with it a bit :o

[displacedtexan]

3. I remember reading many years ago about Amish "parenting."

Evidently, "parenting" among the Amish means "beating the shit out of" with a stick.

I guess they don't spare the rod.

We outsiders always assume that quiet, humble types are virtuous.

Then, we say things like, "Dahmer was a quiet, humble guy. Who would've guessed he was chopping up people?"

... and the beat goes on.

[goddess40]

11. beat one kid so bad you could see the welts through his jeans

and the jury let the S.O.B. go.
Why did he get beat, the 16 year old was listening to rock music.

Sorry but it is a sick society. Anti-women and it keeps their kids isolated so they can't escape.

[noclonyofthechimp]

4. It a sad state of affairs in some communities. I have seen documentaries

(sorry no links) on 60 minutes and more regarding women that have "escaped", men that have been arrested for incest. They have 8 wives and a couple are their daughters. The story you are discussing I saw a couple of months back on TV. It is absolutely outrages that we allow this in the name of a "religion." Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't see anywhere in the bible where this type of "union" is mentioned.

[Bridget Burke]

15. Wrong group. The Amish aren't polygamists.

There are Mormon offshoots that have not abandoned polygamy. And that usually includes arranged marriages between very young women & older men--often relatives. Polygamy is found in the Old Testament.

Not that the Amish have no problems.....

[noclonyofthechimp]

23. Thanks for the clarity. Ugh! Polygamy

:hi:

[progdonkey]

25. seems to be a common mistake...

I read somewhere that the German translation of "Witness" (Harrison Ford in Amish Country) mistranslated "Amish" into "Mormon," so you're not alone in getting it wrong. I think a lot of people (yourself included perhaps) don't know too much about Mormons or the Amish, and so they lump it all together into "Christian offshoot with unusual beliefs that separates (or has historically) itself from the public at large."

The Mormon Church today is much more "mainstream" than before (at least, officially), though there are still the pockets of Mormon Fundamentalists--the polygamous, incestuous, pedophilic freaks you'll see on 20/20. (I've just started John Krakauer's "Under the Banner of Heaven," about a brutal murder by Mormon Fundamentalists; very creepy.) It's still an extremely conservative Church (anti-gay, anti-feminist), and I think the "average" Mormon is likewise conservative (thereby being unlike the Catholic Church, where the Church is very conservative, but there are still plenty of extremely liberal yet devout Catholics), but I've met plenty of Mormons who seem just like anybody else (there's nothing to indicate they're LDS, which can't be said of the Amish).

[noclonyofthechimp]

27. Great post. One of my clients is a Mormon, and he is very conservative.

He is a great guy, a family man, very mellow, kind, and has a great deal of integrity.

[Silverhair]

5. You are trying to indicte an entire group by the acts of a few.

Some _____(Insert group of choice. IE: Blacks, Latinos, Asians, Arabs, Gays, Atheists, Christians, etc.) commit horrible crimes. Will you try to hold all members of that group guilty? Of course not. Every group has some among them who do horrible things and we don't blame the entire group. Yet, you would try to hold ALL Amish guilty over the wrongs of a few? Where is the justice in that?

[bleedingheart]

7. this group specifically cuts off communication with the rest of the world

they also do not permit their children to attend school beyond 7th grade.

This woman has written more about their restrictive community...

http://www.ruthirenegarrett.com/

[salin]

10. I am more concerned about the bigamist mormon enclaves

where they, too, are shut off from others - but their beliefs and very small circle encourages and breeds abuse of young women. I don't think that the Amish tendencies breed it - and would doubt that the rate of abuse is any higher than anywhere else in the country... yes, the closed nature of the group does make it harder for the victims to be heard and their needs to be addressed, but frankly - so much of our society pushes shame around incest and sexual abuse of youngsters by acquaintances - that I am not sure that it is much worse in the Amish community than elsewhere.

Raising awareness of the (tragic) frequency of such sexual abuse - and lifting the taboos in all segments of society from talking about it (and stopping the heinous practice, again in all segments of society, of placing blame on the children) would be a big step throughout society.

[bleedingheart]

12. the American/Puritan discomfort with sexuality is a big problem

so I think that anything associated with sex is perceived as "shameful" but in this case I found it sickening that to the Amish elders drinking excessively and rape are held to be equal as sins...that coupled with her own mother's passive acceptance and admonishments...it is just frightening.

[salin]

14. It IS frightening

but have seen the same and worse throughout my professional life - including currently working with two youth who were abused by a relative/youth pastor - that went on and unspoken for a very long time. This case is finally going to court - but the attitudes surrounding the incidents were similar - and kept the abuse going longer than it should have and the damage is awful. Oh - add to it that it was male on male and this is in an African American religious community where that particular formulation is perceived to be exceptionally shameful.

Just explaining my response above, it isn't that I don't find the situation awful. I do. I have just seen so many varients of it that I don't find it a particularly Amish problem.

[bleedingheart]

16. oh I don't think it specifically an Amish problem but I do think

that their society allows this type of abuse to go on unreported and in this girl's case the elders knew and yet they allowed it to continue...

[sybylla]

26. Wrong. Not all Amish communities cut off communication

with the rest of the world. Here in central Wisconsin we have several Amish and Mennonite communities with varying degrees of restrictions. My neighbors, for example, are very open. They use tractors, have electricity, use phones and have invited me and my family to share in some of their festivities from their children's xmas chorale to the wedding of one of their children last year. They have gone with me to volunteer at the Red Cross blood drives. They have no fear of participating in the community outside their own.

I could also say the same for many of the Mennonite communities to the north of me.

There is one sect of Amish to the south west of me that is very closed and restricted. Women and children are not allowed to speak to anyone outside their community. When they come to town, the men conduct all the business and the women and children remain silent bystanders. They have no electricity, use only horses and sometimes gasoline engines. Large parts of the year their children run barefoot but all in all, seem to live generally happy existences.

Between these two extremes, there are a variety of communities in between. To call them all the same, to cry "cult" without knowing or being privy to their daily lives is pure bigotry. As others have said on this thread, there are good and bad in any group. Let's not stoop to prejudice.

[bleedingheart]

9. also...where did I state that I blame all Amish for these crimes?

I did say I find their culture disturbing but I find the polygamist Mormons disturbing as well.

[Bridget Burke]

17. The abuses you describe should be ended.

Obviously--they are wrong. Illegal, immoral, etc.

However, the fact that you find any culture "disturbing" is your problem.

[bleedingheart]

18. I don't find it a probem to be disturbed by cultures or groups

that support the abuse of women or that do not allow children to have a choice in whether or not to participate in that culture/group.

[Silverhair]

19. That was the implication of you post. NT

[bleedingheart]

21. I live in PA and for years I have read and heard about their life

and in fact I know people who have had the rare interactions with the old order Amish. They are a big tourist draw for the center of the state...and the sad part is that a lot of the "english" know of problems (abuse of kids) but don't even report those problems of abuse because they don't want to tarnish the image of the Amish...cuz it might just hurt the tourist dollars if those tourists learned that the Amish suffer from the same problems as the rest of society...

The sad part is that people don't realize that all the Amish aren't living like the ones in Lancaster...many are very poor but due to how their society is structured and their lack of education...they are left without many means of helping themselves ...but because they are a very small group this is ignored.

[SmokingJacket]

24. Nobody's perfect.

That sounds like a flip answer, but it's not.

I can't think of a group or culture that DOESN'T have problems with sexual abuse, or child abuse, or something.

If there were such a society, it would be Utopia, and we'd all be emulating them.

They have their problems, we have ours.

Did you see that movie about the Magdalene Laundries in Ireland?

Yipes!