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Smarmie Doofus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:41 PM
Original message
Pledge of Allegiance... revised:


A member of the Ethical Culture Society of Riverdale, NY has proposed the following revised version of the pledge:

I pledge allegiance

to the principles on which the United States was founded,

to our one nation,

united in good,

indivisible,

with liberty and justice for all.



I like it; though I would improve it a bit here and there. The author has sent her version to the president and to members of congress.

She points out that the terminological improvements ( good for god),
principles for flag), have the immediate effect of making the pledge more inclusive of the population while obviating the flag-burning issue.

Presumably she sent her version to Senators Clinton and Schumer.

Prediction: Schumer will ignore it and Clinton, if she doesn't ignore it ( which she almost certainly will) will find some nebulous verbiage to say precisely NOTHING.

Anyway, maybe someone of substance in congress will see it respond more responsibly.

PS. I have to laugh... when I spell-checked for this, the program wanted to substitute "Schemer" for "Schumer."


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Stop_the_War Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:43 PM
Response to Original message
1. that's a good version
Edited on Sun Feb-06-05 12:46 PM by Stop_the_War
But I don't like the idea of a pledge of allegiance anyway. A "pledge of allegiance" seems very fascist to me.
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jdj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
2. They need to just take the God part back out.
I saw an old black and white movie recently that was made during the 40s, where the herione tearfully, megadramatically recites the pledge in that stilted, breathless way actresses affected back then, all Vivian Leigh in the last scene of Gone with the Wind.
It was extrememly patriotic and moving, even as this was before the God phrase got stuck in there. And the earth didn't explode or anything.
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paineinthearse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
3. Yes, it is better to pledge allegiance to principles than to a symbol
The flag is too closely related to nationalism. This version reminds all of the values we were founded upon.
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Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
4. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Akoto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 01:07 PM
Response to Original message
5. An improvement!
I like that proposed pledge, especially the 'united in good' part. I'd prefer that to the line it replaces in the actual pledge. Sadly, it'll probably not be seriously considered by either of the people she sent it to.
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newyawker99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #5
6. Hi Akoto!!
Welcome to DU!! :toast:
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Pork Chop Donating Member (64 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 07:22 PM
Response to Original message
7. My honest opinion
I think it sucks. Not because of the content.

That second line just doesn't fit. I don't have a problem if the meaning of it, but it's too long. I think the Pledge of Allegiance should at least have some rythem to it, and with the second line it doesn't.

I don't think the rest of it has much rythem either. I would certainly support something with the same general message but with different wording so that it would actually sound decent.
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catzies Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. I think the rhythm is there if you say it a little differently than quoted
Try this:

I pledge allegiance to the principles

on which the United States was founded,

to our one nation, united in good,

indivisible,

with liberty and justice for all.

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Pork Chop Donating Member (64 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 07:33 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. That could work
There's something about it that I don't like though. Possibly the word "principles." I don't know - something just doesn't sound right.
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Smarmie Doofus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-06-05 09:43 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. The second line is not that bad, if you break it in half...
and read it as two lines.

I would revise the line, "united in good". That means nothing, and sounds sappy besides. Though "under god" has got to go.
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