Does having kids limit how much you speak out?

[zanana]

Just wondering. I don't have kids, so if I get arrested in a demonstration or something like that, the only person I have to worry about is me. I've long thought that some people don't dare speak out too much for fear that it will hurt their kids. What's your situation?

[BurgherHoldtheLies]

1. "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose"...

Not that single/childless people have nothing to loose but having kids definitely forces one to be more cognizant of actions/consequences.

But those of us with kids we aren't totally silenced and cowering in the corner either.

[Dufaeth]

9. "Lose" police!

Sorry to be annoying. :spank:

[BurgherHoldtheLies]

11. Need more coffee...thanks. nt

[emanymton]

2. Yes.

Fear to ruin it for the children.

I may disagree with so much but not enough to destroy the future of my children.

Clearly I am a coward.



Bush Lied, People Died, Media Cheered

[CornField]

3. I definitely avoid situations where I could be placed under arrest

other than that, I still attend protests, marches and try to do my part. Several times -- when I knew the area, who was protesting and anticipated little resistance -- I've brought the children with me.

So, I wouldn't say that having children limits how much I speak out. I would agree that having children has changed the way I choose to speak out.

[Smarmie Doofus]

4. I was at the RNC last year with my son....

( age 9) and was VERY conscious of not getting myself arrested. So I limited myself to the main ( legal) demo which attracted about 400,000 according to NY Times and " tens of thousands" by the rest of the corporate media. ( The Times, as usual, was correct.)

Not my style to get arrested anyway, but I was real cautious not to be near people who were likely to be "swept-up"... lest I be swept-up myself.

As it turned out, the boy got lost, briefly, in the crowd and I was nearly arrested for child endangerment. (Not really, but I couldn't find him for about 30 secs... not a happy feeling.)

But yes, parenthood, esp. sole-provider parenthood, does creep into one's awareness at times like that.

[Blue_Roses]

5. Having kids changes everything

when it was only me to worry about, I was much bolder with my actions and words where politics and other issues were concerned. Working as a counselor for women facing unplanned pregnancies at one time, our clinic came under alot of fire from protestors and that idiot of "operation rescue," Randall Terry even brought his crazy group there one Saturday morning. There was always caution but not like there is today, because I know now how desperate and nutty they are. We were always told to just walk in the door without talking to them, but that wasn't always possible for me:evilgrin:

...so yeah,having kids took the "I-don't-care-what-happens-to-me-as-long as-I'm-standing-up-for-what-is-right," feeling away and now I am much more cautious in placing them in precarious situations of harm. Sad that we have to have worry about looney people harming our family just because we take a stand, but unfortunately that is what it has come to for many of us.

[seabeyond]

6. have to be responsible that is for sure

i not only have the restriction of my children, i have the responsibility to my husband and father who are both small business owners in this highly charged republican environment. the interesting with it, i get to talk to these people that are making decisions for all of us, and tell them, that because of their restriction on me, i have to keep mouth shut. these people know me well. i am friend family business aquaintance. when i look them in the eye and tell them, it makes me mad you tell me i am not a christian because i voted for kerry. it makes them humanize the issue. they actually stop a minute in surprise and say, it does. well hell yes it does. they havent thought. they just mouth. they see their shame

so, yes all of this may seem to be a hinderance, but...........seeing it in the higher, i see it more of a tool. i let my kids play in this, and then i point to the children and say this is their future. our job to listen. they simplify it for us so well.

then there are those that dont have the restrictions, and i love them so. may at times get a little jealous, but for the most part of seeing them as another piece in the puZzle with the freedom that furthers our cause. just you get to do it differently than i. and there is so much to do, well, it is a good thing.

[Blue_Roses]

13. what do you say to people who think you are not

a christian because you voted for Kerry? I have a sister who thinks that I've been "blinded by Satan"...:eyes:, but then I quickly remind them that Jesus was more concerned about the plight of the poor than how to make the rich richer. I always bring that verse up: it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into the kingdom of heaven,"...try that. It always shuts them up for a moment.:D

And then remind them of the Pharasees since they've obviously forgotten:eyes:

[seabeyond]

19. i live the life, i do, perfectly imperfectly

and i embrace the imperfect that i am. the grand people see in this, they see i embrace their imperfect also. it allows my kids such freedom to love themselves without being perfect. allows my repug father and two brother, husband and friends, and the fundie school my kids went to for 6 years

my advantage is these people know me

that is yours too, with your sister

i challenge all, are you saying i am not a christian. tell me. am i a christian

my 8 year old son asked his third grade teacher last spring if mom is a good christian. and looked her in the eye and waited for an answer,. this woman has been a part of our family in all her beauty the whole school year. i was a part of hers, and the class mates. they all knew me. i do none of the religious rules. how they judge. and she could not say i was not a good christian. she couldnt. nor has a single person that knows and loves me been able to say i am not a good christian. i follow none of the christian rule.

this is probably the most powerful gift i give to these people. make them say it out loud,

it has become simple. i speak from spirit, love. cant argue with that. not if you are a good christian. it is challenging for many of the people i am dealing with. the religious.

i have been being called a liberal since living in texas. i am now calling people on it. my life is more conservative than most conservatives. why are you dismissing me calling me a liberal. i am not

that really stops them

[seabeyond]

21. yet, because i have kids i speak out all the time

these kids watch and see, i have to speak out. it is part of teaching children right and wrong. ok and not. healthy and unhealthy. my job. so it allows me and demands anytime i hear a non truth given, i have a responsiblity to speak up. we are having such opportuntiy of discussions even adults dont get

[Blue_Roses]

22. oh, Texas...say no more

I lived there for 10 years--just moved 2 years ago. Yep, good ol' Texas:eyes: However, I still live in the south and it's everywhere, but heh, I was born and raised in the south and nobody knows them better than me--or us:D I don't let it get to me anymore. After being born and raised southern baptist--we now go to a nice Methodist church that teaches tolerance. The mayor of our city--who is a Democrat and looks just like John Edwards--just switched from a baptist church to this church. Many Democrats go to this church and of course I seen a few Bush bumper stickers in the parking lot too. But the main thing is we are trying to embrace our beliefs without the judgement of a bunch of fake christians. No matter what religion or non-religion one wishes to practice, they should never feel judged by a human who is as imperfect as they are;)

[seabeyond]

23. oh you funny..........see all new to me

i am calif and played in my twenties in reno as a waitress, lol lol was fun times.

lol lol

didnt know what fundie was.

bah hahahahahah

lessons learned

[DistressedAmerican]

35. I Have Used That Line Time And Time Again!!!

It is a show stopper for most of these brainless bushbots!

Just thought up another: "Who Would Jesus Invade?". May work.

I was once asked by a total air headed moron if I knew anything about the Middle East. I responded by mentioning many well informed authors such as Fareed Zaccaria, Thom Friedman and others and asked why.

She responded that despite what I had read, I clearly didn't know anything about the region because "Those people are evil and deserve to be bombed." This occurred on a college campus in a firmly Blue state.

I just spent some time talking to her about ignorance and racial stereotypes.

Of course she insisted that SHE was no racist!

[ohio_liberal]

7. Yes...

I'd love to go to protests but I can't ever find a sitter.

[dddem]

8. I'm not the "in your face" protest type to begin with-

although I appreciate those of you who are! But I quietly let people know where I stand. And I communicate that to my children. I have my "straight but not narrow" bumper sticker on the station wagon, and I have explained to my children that in our house we accept everybody, and meanness is ugly, and voting is important, and as Americans we enjoy free speech, and shouldn't waste it.
As a matter of fact, it came back to bite me in the butt a little bit; back in 2001, my daughter "graduated" from elementary school, and received the presidential award for academics (pretty impressive feat). When we got home she told me she didn't want it because it was signed by bush!

[SmokingJacket]

10. Unfortunately yes.

I had this great idea to go Freeway blogging on a recent trip. Suddenly I pictured my kids sitting in the police station while my husband and I were being booked for trespassing....

Argh, didn't do it.

And just talking around the house I have to be more careful. When I say, "Bush is a criminal!" I have to back it up with examples, because my 7 yr old wants to know exactly why, and i know he'll be repeating stuff to his friends. As a result I've toned down the rhetoric around here (he was **devastated** when Kerry lost, and when he sees I'm on DU, says "What are doing on that old hate-Bush site? The election is over!")

Kids take politics hard.

But on the other hand, I think it's because I have kids that I'm so invested in politics. Before I had them, I used to think, "Eh, so the world's going to hell in a handbasket, big whoop. A post-apocalyptic world might be kinda cool..."

Now all I care about is that they grow up and have a world kind enough and free enough to live their lives fully.

[Blue_Roses]

16. I have to watch my mouth too

before the elections, my kids were well aware of my feelings for Bush and they too were devasted by Kerry losing. I took them in July to see Edwards when he came to our town and after that moment they were political junkies... yeah, I can relate to your post:)

[ultraist]

12. No, it doesn't limit how much I speak out

All in all, I speak out more because I have kids. I donate more time and money, for their sake and the sake of all children.

That's just me though, I wasn't really politically involved before I had kids. I did other types of volunteer work.

But I am cautious about events, where we stand and staying alert. This is true for any big crowd situation, not just political events.

[notadmblnd]

14. I think we're obligated to speak out because of our kids

My affairs are in order and my kids will be taken care of very well if something happens to me. They understand that people come and go in their lives and that sometimes that includes parents.

It would be hard for them in some ways (emotionally) but their lives would be made so much easier in others (financially). I could be wrong though.. my kids are getting to the age where they think they know everything and resent parental authority. They might not miss me at all, in fact they could be plotting my death as we speak :tinfoilhat:

[wtmusic]

18. Yes

I'm much more involved now than I was before I had kids. It's their future.

[mordarlar]

15. I have three kids and i certainly think about it. But it does not stop me

I guess for me,i realize the less i speak now, the more they have to later. Under far more dire circumstances. I have even considered the fact that THEY may have children that they wish to protect and may HAVE no choices, like i do now. I warn my children, (in the most age appropriate way possible) that although things might be difficult at times, we will always have our love for each other. That this is ONE THING NOBODY can take. This love, i tell them, is not even dependant on us being together.

We are watching our rights fade fast. I fear if i do not speak out, loudly and often, now, my children (6, 7, and 12 now)will have to pay a far greater price later.

[jandrok]

17. Having kids may limit how much I speak publicly......

...but it makes me more determined to be a good role model as a parent and teach my kids progressive ideals. Part of that is living what I preach. We perform community service. We give to responsible charities and aid organizations. We collect aluminum cans and give the proceeds to the elementary school library. Small stuff to be sure, but getting the kids involved when they are young increases the chance that they will continue to do these activities when they get older. We expose them to as much learning and diversity as possible.

That said, we don't push issues like we could if we didn't have kids. We live in small-town America, and even though Lockhart is fairly progressive for a small town (partially because of it's proximity to Austin), it's still very conservative in many ways. Not good to rile up the neighbors too much. Better to live a good example and work to find the common ground.

[jayfish]

20. Yes.

It limits everything I do or say about everything.

Jay

[William Bloode]

24. No not at all.

I don't shy away because i have childeren. Nothing makes a future goverment skeptic like seeing ol' dad beaten and hauled away.

[Just Me]

25. Yes. eom

[Hamlette]

26. just the opposite...because I have a kid I consider it my responsibility

to speak out and protest to set an example AND to make the world a better place for him.

(It's a proud mother that loves that he spent spring break 2003 going to San Francisco to protest the war while many other college kids went to Mexico to drink. Not that I think he didn't do some drinking on that trip.)

[woodsprite]

27. I just was having this conversation with my daughter last night.

Again, we were talking homework about the French Revolution. We think Negroponte fits with Robespierre a bit. Not sure. Anyway, she mentioned that she's scared. I told her that there is just way too much apathy in America. She asked me about the protests that have been in pockets around the US re: Soc. Sec. I told her about the ones in Lebanon, Italy and Europe - thousands vs. hundreds or less.

She wants to move to Canada since she says Bush and his admin. are pure evil and she doesn't see a way out of it for the US since nobody's doing anything. I told her that if I were single or it were just her dad and I, we'd be out there with the rest of them. We wouldn't care about a SS file or an FBI file. Now, with having 2 kids who are going to be great liberals when they grow up, I feel that my responsibility to my family comes above and beyond anything else. I can do what I can do, but I'm not going to get myself "suicided", jailed or shipped on a plane to a "torture-for-hire" country. I told her one of the thing that I can do as my responsibility to this world is to make sure SHE and her brother know what is happening and how it should be fixed.

About her being afraid, we are Presby. and attend church regularly. I told her that it would appear that * and his cronies are written about in Revelation if the Bible is a literal account of things past/present/future. All she can do when she gets really afraid, after spreading her views and giving her support where needed, is to pray that God's will is brought down upon *. We *KNOW* by is actions and his lies that he is not a follower - nor are his people. If the Bible isn't to be a "literal" account of what's to happen, then we just have to make it thru this phase of history (been there, done that before, except it was in other lands, not the US) and work our butts off to make it better once we oust the crooks and liars in the WH, Congress and Judiciary. We came to the rescue of Germany during WWII, maybe some other country will come to our rescue. Don't know who it would be, but he's pissing alot of people off worldwide. Seems like more than he is here in the US. Above all, still be the people we are - supporting our rights and the rights of all citizens regardless of affiliation, the poor, standing up for what we KNOW is the right thing and live the way we know that Jesus wanted us to. After all, Jesus was a liberal!!! Or as our minister told us the other day: Think Globally, Act Locally!

Having kids makes a WORLD of difference!

[LibDemAlways]

28. In certain situations speaking out can have

a detrimental effect on your kids. When my daughter was in elementary school a few years ago, I became very vocal on the issue of school safety and managed to piss off the principal. She made sure my daughter got the least desirable teacher every year after that.

Putting yourself out there can have unintended consequences.

[movie_girl99]

29. it does for me

i work for a school district that i feel is very flawed in many ways but if i speak out or try and out someone or make my political views known i will more than likely find myself unemployed for some BS reason. I have a HS diploma and was a hairdresser for 3 years before having kids. I had been a stay at home mom for 13 years until 5 years ago. My skills are not incredibly marketable in todays world. I make descent money, get home by 3:15 and have holidays off wth my kids. You bet having kids limits my activism.

[bleedingheart]

30. Yes

I am responsible for two little people. So I do my best to work within the system and to not jeopardize my job because I have to help feed them too...

[hunter]

31. It certainly does...

Before I was married, before I had kids, I could be quite reckless.

Now I always measure what I do and what I say against how it might affect my family.

It was a very profound change in me -- I used to be a strange creature who'd go dumpster diving and trespassing all over the west and southwest, and when I wasn't doing that, I pretty much lived in big university libraries.

You can really get away with a lot when you look like a crazy hungry homeless guy, or maybe because you basically are a crazy hungry homeless guy, but for the grace of God, family, and friends.

My parents are politically active, and they have always shared this activism with me and my siblings. They would take us to political meetings, rallys, etc., even when we were young. My mom could nurse a baby while taking notes. So could my wife.

My wife and I are just as open about our politics with our kids. We have been to anti-war protests, many government meetings, etc. Our kids read our letters to the editor and other various political rants.

I think the United States is in trouble because too many parents don't talk to their kids about politics, religion, or sex, and the kids have to learn it on the streets, or worse, from television.

[MissB]

32. It makes your decisions more important

For instance, there have been several protests that have happened in Portland where people have been pepper sprayed. I won't bring my kids to a large marching protest where the front of the crowd may decide to veer off the approved route and start blocking traffic, causing the police to close ranks.

I have no problem with taking them to a waterfront event. The venue is relatively safe- people are gathering, but peacefully. There certainly isn't any guarantee that bad stuff won't happen but the chances are lower.

As the kids get older, I'll be more likely to march with them. I think it is important that they understand what democracy is and to see it in action. There is a just a balance between what is "safe" and what is not. I think it has more to do with their age than anything.

The concern about being arrested with kids isn't really a concern, I guess.

[masmdu]

33. No...It makes me speak out more...for my son!

.

[DistressedAmerican]

34. Just The Opposite. I Just Had A Daughter.

She was born 25,000 dollars in debt, with the threat of a possible draft loming in a near fascist state. It gives me yet one more reason to fight. Although, I may leave the baby with my wife so that someone can come bail me out.

I figure if one of us goes down for the cause and the other is available on the outside to help, we'd both be better off.

My Child needs a future. Bush is doing his damnedest to stop that from coming.

Never surrender!

Here She Is In Her Distressed American Baby Gear. How could you not want to fight for such a cute junior radical?

[applegrove]

36. I think being interested in the power structures of the world around

you is a pursuit for the young and also the childless. Typically spinsters would be writing letters and focused on the outside world too. If you have the time to invest in reading or learning then you have the time to participate at very low cost to yourself in politics and affairs outside your home(and indeed can focus on the benefits.

Just a matter of time for the 'outside world' - how much time you have to invest and thus be invested.

[lonestarnot]

37. Hell NO! gotta have 'em learn by example! n/t

[Rann]

38. NO

for me I was always quiet untill I had my daughter. Now I speak out all the time (in her school)

[Vinca]

39. If you don't speak out, your kids will end up being hurt

a whole lot more in years to come. Getting arrested for demonstrating against a government trying to take every shred of human dignity away from you isn't exactly like being arrested as a member of the Manson family. Your kids should be proud if you're working for freedom, even if it means cereal for supper.