I almost Puke ,question posted on another board

[brettdale]

I lurk on a country music message baord, this question was posted thier, I know they are going for comedy value, But I would like to reply, any suggestions.



Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
Here is a little test that will help you decide.

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats,
Republicans, and Southern Republicans?


You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife,and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and ! your family.

What do you do?



Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question
Does the man look poor! or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the
knife out of his hand?


What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of
message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content
just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get
away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make
this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! ! I need to debate this with some
friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer:

BANG!


Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.....(sounds of reloading).
click
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester
Silver Tips?"

[BlueEyedSon]

1. Rational Human Being:

"What is wrong with US govt (& corporate) foreign policy that is producing so many islamic terrorists?"

[jimshoes]

2. 40 years ago

same stupid joke, different ethnicity. Some things will never change.

[onehandle]

3. 1) Most people of either party would not be carrying a "Glock"

2) That situation described will not happen except in a conversation on Faux.

[Trajan]

4. Cute (not really )... and old .....

Of course, this is a fallacious appeal ....

Similar to the Black and White Fallacy, IE Bifurcation ...

IF a 'Liberal's family were threatened by a religious fanatic with a large knife (Be he Islamic, Jewish or Christian), the Liberal would of COURSE shoot the fanatic dead to protect his family ...

Notice how that option is strangely absent ... hence the fallacy ...

RWers think theyre realy funny and clever when they try to insult us with such lame assed tripe ...

[Behind the Aegis]

5. Post this!

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

Joe gets up at 6 A.M. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification. He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day.

Joe agrees: We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have.
___________________________________________

ON EDIT: some style issues

[Toucano]

7. You rock!

I hope he does post this in response.

[brettdale]

12. I posted A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

I posted A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN.

Its hard being a country music fan, and having to see all the anti liberal posts that are the message boards thier.

[NYC Liberal]

6. The Republican would cheer if the terrorist was Christian. n/t

[Roland99]

8. Post this: "What I Heard..."

http://www.commondreams.org/views05/0416-20.htm

[karynnj]

9. How stupid.

But I guess that what we can expect in the year after an election pitted a war hero Republican against a Democrat who avoided the war. ;) I guess it's stereotypes like this that made their smearing Kerry necessary to keep their world view in balance.

[troubleinwinter]

10. You posted this crap WHY?

[sandnsea]

11. Ooops, it was the owner of the motel

Republican gets off on a technicality because he can afford a lawyer and only shot once which is decided by the rich white jury to be reasonable self defense. Southern Republican goes to jail for the rest of his life because he got a public defender who couldn't quite find a defense for assuming an unknown brown person was automatically a terrorist that required emptying the gun and reloading. Family goes on welfare, moves to the prison town, daughter takes up with the exact kind of scum that daddy THOUGHT he had killed.