Laura Bush Has Officially Gone Off the Deep End

[Placebo]

Mrs. Bush Steals Show at Reporters' Dinner

First lady Laura Bush stole the show with a surprise comedy routine that ripped President Bush and brought an audience that included much of official Washington and a dash of Hollywood to a standing ovation at a dinner honoring award-winning journalists.

The president planned a speech late Saturday at the 91st annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner, but was quickly "interrupted" by his wife in an obviously planned ploy.

"Not that old joke, not again," she said to the delight of the audience. "I've been attending these dinners for years and just quietly sitting there. I've got a few things I want to say for a change."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050501/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bush_correspondents_3&printer=1

Quotes via Wonkette.com:

"I am married to the President of the United States and here is our typical evening. Nine o'clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep, and I am watching Desperate Housewives. With Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentleman, I am a desperate housewife. I mean if those women on that show think they're desperate, they ought to be with George. One night after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendales....I won't tell you what happened, but Lynne's Secret Service code name is now Dollar Bill."

"George always says that he's delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney. He's usually in bed by now. I'm not kidding. I said to him the other day, George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you're going to have to stay up later."

"The amazing thing is that George and I were just meant to be. I was a librarian who spent 12 hours a day in the library, yet somehow I met George."

"People often wonder what my mother-in-law is really like. People think she's a sweet, grandmotherly Aunt Bee type. She's actually more like Don Corleone."

"I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse."

"George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw. Which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well."

http://www.wonkette.com/politics/white-house/index.php#first-wife-swapper-laura-bush-steals-the-show-at-wh-correspondents-dinner-101728

:rofl:

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

Re: The Horse

It has a ring of authenticity to it. You just know he did.

[FreedomAngel82]

1. Milk the horse??

Did she really say that?? :crazy:

[coloradodem2005]

2. She is missing a few marbles.

[BeHereNow]

3. NO WAY!

Oh.MY.GOD!!!
Are these quotes for real???
HYSTERICAL, if so!
BHN

[Rick Myers]

4. The BIG slip of the night...

"George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw. Which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well." :grr:

[BlueIris]

31. That is SICK.

I'm not sure if that's worse than the "nope, no WMDs under here" line, but it's pretty bad. Jesus.

[Arugula Latte]

60. Oh, Ha Ha

Isn't the destruction of our planet just so amusing, such light-hearted entertainment fodder for these mindless media drones. :grr:

[babylonsister]

5. Placebo, take a step back. Laura DID say this stuff.

Mind-boggling to me, but she said this. She 'sat in' for her husband, who was apparently unable to speak succinctly. Laura 'took up the slack.'

[Freedom_from_Chains]

6. I'm thinking spoof. This is just too close to the truth. n/t

[Richard Steele]

7. TRUTH in humor, humor in truth!

"George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you're going to have to stay up later."

"People often wonder what my mother-in-law is really like. People think she's a sweet, grandmotherly Aunt Bee type. She's actually more like Don Corleone."

I suspect the REAL Laura peeked out for a moment there...time to increase her dosage!

[Occulus]

14. "I'm proud of George.

"He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse."

:rofl:

She nailed him. She actually read him up and down. Check your watch, George, ya just been clocked... by your own wife....

at an Event....

:rofl:

[RevCheesehead]

61. "The Revenge of the Stepford Wife"

This is how repuke women get even. And she did. :evilgrin:

Of course, once she got home, she could say, "what's the matter, George? Can't you take a JOKE? I was only TEASING." :)

[Montauk6]

8. Hey, betw this and Bush's "Nope, no weapons under there" slide show

I'm sure Lorne Michaels will be contacting them soon.

Look out, Charlie Brill and Mitzi McCall.

Oy yoy yoy...

[Jack Rabbit]

9. She went off the deep end years ago when she married that creep

The poor, wretched woman!!

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

10. I wonder how Shrub's religious righteous are going to cotton to

this desperate housewife??? That thought kept coming to my mind when listening to her.

[mcctatas]

12. They will either say she was possessed and call the snake handlers or

Ignore it as long as gays can't get married and we don't teach their children that high fallutin science stuff. They didn't even blink at Cheney's "go fuck yourself"

[Cleita]

11. Is she trying to audition for another job?

Haven't the Bushes figured out that they aren't funny after the twins bombed at the RNC convention? They certainly shouldn't be laughing after all the misery Mr. Bush has visited on the world. Damn I would have thrown something. What an out-of-touch, self-involved group of creeps.

Next she'll be delivering cake to people who are going hungry because of the Bush budget cuts.

[Mojambo]

13. I gotta say, some of that material is not bad

Did someone tell her it was a celebrity roast or something?

[Occulus]

18. I wonder if she really DOES have a good sense of humor...

She'd almost have to, wouldn't she?

[NYCGirl]

51. The White House Correspondents Dinner IS a roast. Always has been. NT

[Cleita]

63. Under the circumstances, it was in poor taste for her

to deliver it. It should have been someone else.

[thecorster]

70. It's good material, but I'm SURE

someone else wrote it. Somehow Karl thought this little routine would help their cause...

I'm surprised that some DUers are thinking she's "gone off the deep end" or "showed her true self." These are the most calculating manipulative bastards to ever occupy the White House... they wouldn't screw up at a big media event like this.

[chookie]

15. Rove is very clever

Given my interest in propaganda and mass persuasion, I feel that my most desired off-the-record interview would be with Mr Rove -- ideally I will have filled him with enough martinis to unleash his tongue, but not enough for him to vomit on me.

This event is a classic "Rite of Reversal" -- the one day in the year when it is okay to mock the social order and reality in general. It is especially potent, not surprisingly, in tyrannical or controversial eras of misrule. The point is -- you maintain the oppressive social order by allowing a short, intense period of venting of intense feeling, which is quickly gotten over and never considered with any seriousness, even if it gives voice to important opinion.

Rove AND Laura both seem to have read the classic text -- The Golden Bough.

Look at the points she addresses: hot button personal issues -- even character issues. Come, let us laugh, so we do no think. This is much more skillful than His Chimperial Majesty trying to get yuks by looking under tables for WMDs (last years sacred cow hot button).

There is a phrase in Chinese to describe this as well -- "slapping one's own face" -- pre-emptively, OBVIOUSLY.

For a few hours, people vent truth, and the objects of hatred acknowledge that they are hated. To keep people from doing anything about them.

With the understanding that tomorrow morning, things go back to normal oppression and silence.

(IMBEDDED NOTE: I watch CNN when I want to see what the government wants the Sheeple to consume and believe. I was shocked when the invariably goofy Miles O'Brien made a joke, calling the White House press corps "a softball team." That was good. Where did that come from?)

.

[Dover]

21. Supposedly humor diminishes the threat. ..particularly when delivered

by a non-threatening source. "My husband the bumbling fool" type jokes are par for the course.

His daughters tried to deliver some "my daddy..."
humor in their speeches at the Rep. Convention and it fell flat.

Bush's speech writers always attempt to include plenty of self-depricating humor.

Self-depricating humor is only convincing when the person is generally held in high regard...and the self deprication makes them more endearing and human. But when your life is one big failure and you are the most hated person in the world.....you can't afford to make fun of yourself.

[Beetwasher]

49. Absolutely Correct, YOU NAILED IT

Bravo on an excellent analysis, couldn't have done it better! :thumbsup:

It's a ritualistic purging, in a sense, and also a sort of defensive maneuver. "If we were really doing these things or were such horrible people, would/could we really joke like this?"

[SlavesandBulldozers]

53. this period of reversal- as you so aptly pointed out

is juxtaposed against the period of election-time, where nothing personal or "hot button" would have been aired about the chimp. and anything personal would be met with howls accusing of partisanship and political opportunism.

and the personal issues are directed solely at the challenger.

[Wizard777]

16. LMAO

"If you do not laugh in the face of evil. Evil wins"
Spitima Zarathrushra

Well I'm glad she won't be going to prison with him. They have a few horses for Bush to milk too.

[Placebo]

19. "They have a few horses for Bush to milk too."

:rofl: :applause: :rofl:

[MontageOfFreedom]

29. Laura will join him and the crazy crackjobs.

Unless Laura completely throws herself on the turnstyle and says, "I never knew about any of this!!!!!" which stepford wives tend to do.

[Bigmack]

17. Carmella Soprano....

I know most DUers think Laura B. is dumb and dresses right out of the Thrift Store, but I think she's like Carmella Soprano. She's made a deal with the devil... well... deal with the dumbshit in this case.

She gets to move in pretty high circles, gets a lotta bucks, gets a lot of status. All she has to do is turn a blind eye - and mind - to what gives her all the money and status.

I'll bet she's 20X smarter than the Chimp and at night she just lays there while he's asleep and dreams up clever passive-aggressive shit to say at reporter's dinners.

[RevCheesehead]

62. no, I think you nailed it with "the devil"

And I totally agree with your post. The whole thing certainly did sound like a passive-aggressive purge.

Good for Laura. :thumbsup:

(and good for her dig at Bar Corleone)

[mtnsnake]

20. Sorry, Pickles, but just because Rove wrote you some funny lines,

you're still not cool.

In fact, you make me wanna :puke:

[Zen Democrat]

25. I'm sure Jay Leno wrote her lines.

He's admitted to writing jokes for the White House.

[Henny Penny]

37. If Jay Leno wrote those lines...

then he is clearly subverting from within!

These are all jokes that perhaps you might laugh at at the time, but which are well enough crafted to stick in the mind. And even a short period of reflection leads to... "hey, thats true and its pretty goddamn sick!!"

[Dover]

22. Better she sticks with her day job........

being irrelevant.

[DanCa]

23. Desperate Housewives ?

The Parents Family Tv Council is going to have a field day with that one.

[walldude]

24. Yeah that and the Chippendales

I'm suprised she had the balls to mock Ma Bush though, she'll probably be paying for that one.

[thebigidea]

43. she gave an interview just a few days ago claiming to have never seen it

file under stupid lump in the bed department, I guess. scripted schtick from Hughes & co.

[earth mom]

26. Totally Bizarre. But then again-who knows? Maybe it's a cry for help....

Or maybe they DO need to up her meds. :shrug:

[G2099]

27. What was interesting was her delivery

I happen to catch it live and was really surprised by her delivery. She was really good. Calm, cool, extremely relaxed and professional. I don't know how much practice they had before but she was perfect. She could very well be a professional actress. I was impressed with her performance. It may be just years of practice but I felt the standing O was for real because her performance was so good. Her remarks were humorous if not funny. I think even * was proud of her and pleased. I had to really wonder, is there more to this women than meets the eye? I'm not blowing smoke. Just my impression.

[MontageOfFreedom]

30. More to her than meets the eye of what?

Corruption, crime, and fascist belief systems? Bush pandering to racism? The government system being shot through with holes by "partisans" who threaten judges to answer to their behavior?

[Henny Penny]

40. you could be right.

* probably looked like he'd just be a third rate businessman when she married him, and maybe she couldn't have forseen just what *'s destiny would be. After all didn't Jeb look like Poppy's heir back in those days??

Clearly she could see the family were evil, but * probably seemed cute and inept and not a big part of the BFEE plans.

But, then, I like to think the best of people.

[bush_is_wacko]

48. She IS a professional actress

She's been married to chimpy for how long? That's a whole lot of acting practice!

[thebigidea]

50. I have some plywood that'll thrill you just as much!

thanks for creating more of a chuckle than Laura's Hughesian idiocy...

[MontageOfFreedom]

28. I think Laura and the freepers have lost their collective minds....

Then again who couldn't, being around someone like him 24/7 nonstop and having to agree to their every demands.

Please, Laura Bush just admitted on television she's stepford wife. What's next Fox News re-broadcasting the whole three plus hours?

This nonsense has got to end. Diplomacy now =total idiocy. Don Corleone and the crime family need to be brought down and finished off in the impeachment circle.

[Tactical Progressive]

32. The White House Correspondents' Dinner

is kind of like a roast.

Sounds like Laura did a pretty good routine.

[Djinn]

33. haha my husband stole an election,

killed 1000's of Iraqi's and Afghan's, illegally detained hundreds of people in squalor and screwed the US economy

hahahahahahaha

if there were any justice in the world she'd be swinging alongside him like Clara Petacci and Mussolini

[MontageOfFreedom]

34. No instead...

He stole two elections with the second one being far worse than the first, and totally completely obstructing justice. I can't imagine how much she must be feeling pity on herself. :sarcasm:

[mtnsnake]

71. LOLOLOL!! My husband George just killed every last wolf in Alaska, hahaha

and he paved the way for loggers to cut down each and every last stand of old growth forest in the USA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[onager]

35. Laura was reading a prepared script...

...and you can bet that everyone "roasted" in it had most likely read it in advance, too. Including her mother-in-law, ol' Sofa-With-Pearls.

If Laura really owned this sort of blazing, rapier-like wit naturally, we'd see it all the time. We don't.

[flordehinojos]

36. all of those sick jokes were probably written by one of the bushes

themselves. they thrive on putting each other down. babs does it to poppy. poppy does it to babs. they do it to their seedlings and their seedlings' children and their seedlings' children and their own seedlings do it back to them.

they also have a fixation on sex and there is always some sort of sick reference to something sexual in their jokes--that is i suppose how they feel the fulfillment of their manhood. it seems they can't feel it or experience it any other way ... they have to talk and talk and talk in phallic symbolism. it makes their cojones feel good and big and great.

laura bush was doing nothing more than what poppy and babs and their seedlings and the seedlings' seddlings have done all along.

sick. sick. sick.

[EFerrari]

38. What's upscale from nausea? n/t

[EFerrari]

39. "George's answer to any problem is to cut it down with a chainsaw -

which is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well."

(Laughter)

:puke:

[bklyncowgirl]

41. She had pretty good material.

Coming from someone else it would have been called a pretty savage attack.

[mtnsnake]

42. It's more WH bullshit all contrived to put a false human front on a family

of murdering thieves, the Bushes, through a common enjoyable medium, comedy, which we all can relate to. It's just another way they're trying to get the sheep to relate to them, by poking fun at each other like we all do with close friends and family.

The sheep are supposed to come out of it laughing and saying, "Laura isn't so bad. Gee, I make fun of my spouse, too, in a funny kind of way. I can relate to her."

Yeah, let's laugh at George and poke fun at him in a good-natured way while he kills hundreds of thousands of people as she delivers her comedy.

They crucified Hillary, so screw Pickles. There is nothing anyone can say or do to ever make me like her or any part of her phoney criminal family. Scripted funny lines, which are supposed to make her look human like the rest of us, just doesn't do it.

If she was saying those lines from behind bars I might laugh!

[jazzjunkysue]

65. I think you're right: More pretense and spin.

But I don't think any of it would have gotten any laughs if it all hadn't been true.

Bush 2.0 is the world's greatest compensator, and it's for good reason. Got No Wood.

[Alenne]

44. I don't find it funny. nt

[DemBeans]

45. as bad as this was reading it ---

It was worse watching the event. The "press" - the ones who are supposed to let us know what's going on - were almost on the floor laughing at these silly quips. I mean, FLOODS of laughter. It sure comforted me knowing the people in that room were representing the people's interests and not the Empire - uh huh.

[bush_is_wacko]

46. Sounds like her "damage control" is gonna backfire!

The mind picture of good old chimpy "milking" a male horse will become synonymous with the mind picture of a male prostitute hung like one!

This administration is imploding right before our very eyes. She set out to make him look like and average guy. She didn't succeed in that endeavor. I imagine she really IS a desperate housewife! Doesn't seem her husband pays her much attention inside the walls of the White House!

[dweller]

52. gosh i can't wait to tell my kids that joke!

(i mean, if the pRes's wife tells it, it must be okay!)

i'll float it by my mom and sis too. Shits and giggles abound.


so, umm.... is 'horse' some code name for Gannon/Guckert?

dp

[bush_is_wacko]

57. If the horse shoe fits..... n/t

[NYCGirl]

59. Well, don't let your kids watch the movie "Kingpin"

(directed by the Farrelly Bros. of There's Something About Mary fame), because they do the same gag — albeit with a male bull, but the punchline is much raunchier.

[Name removed]

68. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[DemonFighterLives]

47. I saw some of the clips on CNN

Old Chainsaw George was pure red while he tried to keep a smile about him.
Mr Excitement* was pooped from his press conference debacle and told Frump to earn some of her keep.

The truth of these criminals is funny in a perverse black humor sort of way.
Beautiful minds all around -Not.

[Kansas Wyatt]

54. Probably staged and scripted, because they are losing it and know it.

Sounds to me like they were baiting for a lot of attention to be focused on colorful comebacks and put-downs, instead of what is really going on. They would much rather have wisecracks made about BushCo., instead of losing so much alleged "political capital" on Shrub's failures and fraudulent schemes.

[NYCGirl]

55. Of course it was scripted. The WH Correspondents Dinner is ALWAYS comedy

speeches.

[warrior1]

58. Real funny Laura

Victims are bush's illegal war.



















I hope you and the giggling monster sleep tight.

[jazzjunkysue]

66. These gruesome photos are American faith-based initiatives at work.

This is the news CNN and ABC and CBS and NBC and Fox won't broadcast, so, we get 5 days of runaway bride and call it news.

Thank God for Air America Radio.

[liveoaktx]

56. Vid Clip from Cspan

Lump

Mark Smith

[Placebo]

64. Thanks!

:)

[understandinglife]

67. Here's the message: "George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut

.... it down with a chainsaw. Which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well."

I think Ms Bush is primed to endorse MissionNOTAccomplished, don't you!!


www.missionnotaccomplished.us - May 2 2005 is just THE BEGINNING OF MNA

[B Calm]

69. Desperate housewife who's never ever done housework!

[Oilwellian]

72. I never thought of Babs as a Corleone

I've always thought of her as Ma Barker reincarnated.

It's stunning that part of her comedy routine involved George and bestiality. "Milking a male horse" certainly doesn't include udders....she's implying George jacked off a horse. WTF????? This is the most bizarre statement I've ever heard from a first lady.