Weekly Standard praises Galactic Empire, denounces Rebellion--seriously.

[PKG]

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/248ipzbt.asp

No, we're serious here. No satire in sight. And yeah, it's a bit of a dated article (2002), but with Episode III coming out next week, it might be nice during the movie to keep in mind which side is which.


STAR WARS RETURNS today with its fifth installment, "Attack of the Clones." There will be talk of the Force and the Dark Side and the epic morality of George Lucas's series. But the truth is that from the beginning, Lucas confused the good guys with the bad. The deep lesson of Star Wars is that the Empire is good.

It's a difficult leap to make--embracing Darth Vader and the Emperor over the plucky and attractive Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia--but a careful examination of the facts, sorted apart from Lucas's off-the-shelf moral cues, makes a quite convincing case...

Make no mistake, as emperor, Palpatine is a dictator--but a relatively benign one, like Pinochet. It's a dictatorship people can do business with. They collect taxes and patrol the skies. They try to stop organized crime (in the form of the smuggling rings run by the Hutts). The Empire has virtually no effect on the daily life of the average, law-abiding citizen...

In all of the time we spend observing the Rebel Alliance, we never hear of their governing strategy or their plans for a post-Imperial universe. All we see are plots and fighting. Their victory over the Empire doesn't liberate the galaxy--it turns the galaxy into Somalia writ large: dominated by local warlords who are answerable to no one.

Which makes the rebels--Lucas's heroes--an unimpressive crew of anarchic royals who wreck the galaxy so that Princess Leia can have her tiara back.

I'll take the Empire.

I never actually thought I would see a conservative, in all seriousness, claim that Darth Vader is a moral standard, and that Emperor Palpatine is a good leader. Christ, no wonder they like this White House so much.

[Dr.Phool]

1. Pinochet was benign?

:wtf:

[northzax]

3. sure, completely benign

to anyone who worshipped him.

just like the Empire is benign, unless you happen to live on Alderran.

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

10. Or be a Wookee.

The Empire did enslave almost an entire sentient race.
Completely benign. :eyes:

[slutticus]

25. Also Kashyyyk...

Look what happened to the Wookiees.

[northzax]

35. I refer only to the movies

extra storylines made up to sell books don't count.

[PKG]

37. Since Kashyyk appears in RotS, I think we can fairly bring it up.

I doubt Lucas won't throw a single nod to the later enslavement of the Wookiees if his plot requires putting an extended battle sequence on their homeworld.

Also, just as a curiosity...

what novels have storylines that *weren't* made up to sell said novels?

[PKG]

27. Not to mention the Ghorman Massacre

in which thousands of peaceful demonstrators were killed.

Bush still has a little ways to go before he can live the dream.

[Beetwasher]

2. And He's Arguing That That's the Real Lesson???

What a fucking dimwit. Tell it to the people of Alderaan. :eyes:

Or any of the non-human species who became second class citizens under Palpatine.

[Atman]

4. Minor point, but isn't this the SIXTH film?

More GOP fuzzy math.

On edit -- Sorry...this is a review of "Attack of the Clones." Missed that on first read.

[PKG]

5. The article was published in 2002, for AotC.

I just dug it up in honor of RotS.

[Touchdown]

6. It's not called "Star Democracies" but Star Wars for a reason.

"In all of the time we spend observing the Rebel Alliance, we never hear of their governing strategy or their plans for a post-Imperial universe. All we see are plots and fighting. "

And just how exiting would this be if they sat around Ben's hideout pontificating economic policy, and never getting the lightsaber out of the trunk?:eyes:

[PKG]

23. We had lots (for SW, that is) of policy talk in I and II

and remember how exciting those scenes were? Man, if I have one thrilling memory of Episode I, it was when I realized that a free-trading corporation was going to force a trade monopoly with a minor world :eyes:

[spindoctor]

7. THIS is what we're up againts?

OMG, it is worse than I thought.

:rofl:

[brainshrub]

8. How about the "Star Wars Argument" from the movie: Clerks.

Randal: So they build another Death Star, right?

Dante: Yeah.

Randal: Now the first one they built was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.

Dante: Luke blew it up. Give credit where it's due.

Randal:And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.

Dante: Compliments of Lando Calrissian.

Randal: Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it. I could never put my finger on it-something just wasn't right.

Dante: And you figured it out?

Randal: Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army-storm troopers, dignitaries- the only people on-board were Imperials.

Dante: Basically.

Randal: So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.

Dante: And the second time around...?

Randal: The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.

Dante: So?

Randal: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.

Dante: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.

Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.

Dante: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?

Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. (notices Dante's confusion) All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.

(The Blue-Collar Man (Thomas Burke) joins them.)

Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?

Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.

Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working
on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.

Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.

Randal: Like when?

Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.

Dante: Whose house was it?

Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.

Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?

Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.

Dante: Based on personal politics.

Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.

Randal: No way!

Blue-Collar Man: (paying for coffee) I'm alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. (pauses to reflect) You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault. A roofer listens to this... (taps his heart) not his wallet.

[RaleighNCDUer]

9. I think this is in actuality a low key satire, commenting on the way

fans try to connect this fantasy with the real world.

One thing caught my eye, though -- re Palpatine "we see that at heart, he's an esoteric Straussian."

Truer words never spoken. And the entire neo-con PNAC agenda is equally Straussian. The problem is, the other side sees Straussian as being a good thing.

[Inland]

11. "True, some of their methods were regrettable, blowing up entire planets

But no sacrifice is to great for an Empire that pretty much leaves people alone and is good for trade."

[Ganja Ninja]

12. There are plenty of reasons to be aggravated with Republicans.

We don't need to fantasize. It's not surprising though that a right wing rag like the Weakly Standard would identify with the evil empire.

[RaleighNCDUer]

14. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the Standard start out as a

left wing publication? If so, what happened to it; and if not, what is it I'm thinking of?

[JHB]

17. You're thinking of the New Republic(an).

Lefty magazine taken over by neocons when they were still "Democratic hawks".

[InfoMinister]

13. Another Guy Who Liked The Empire - Jeffrey Dahmer

I dug this up awhile back and posted it on a rumors section on Wikipedia's discussion area. I thought some of the rumors within the Industrial community were kind of interesting. While looking around I found a strange interview on a newsgroup about Dahmer talked about the Emperor. The book that this came from is called I Have Lived in the Monster: Inside the Minds of the Most Notorious Serial Killers by Robert K. Ressler

"Ressler: But the police didn't find very much in the way of a collection?

Dahmer: As the years went on, I'd winnow out the tapes and magazines that didn't really appeal to me, my tastes. Aside from the porno films, the JEDI films (Star Wars Trilogy), the figure of the EMPOROR, he had total control, fit in perfectly with my fantasies. I felt, by that time, so completely corrupt that I identified completely with him. I suppose a lot of people like to have complete control, it's a fantasy a lot of people have."

[PKG]

24. Actually, I used to like the Empire when I was younger.

I thought they were much cooler than the Rebellion. I wanted to be Admiral Piett. Other than the insane actions of Grand Moff Tarkin, the Empire really didn't seem that bad. A bit heavy-handed, but the galaxy was obviously a lawless place.

Of course, I soon discovered the Expanded Universe--starting with the Thrawn trilogy--and my love for the Empire quickly faded away. But yeah, I wouldn't morally defend them. I just thought they were "cooler" in the 7-year-old-playing-with-plastic-TIE-fighters way.

[InfoMinister]

26. Well, That's Different - Hopefully You're Not Chopping People's Heads Off

and putting them in your freezer. Dahmer liked him for a completely different reason than just the action figures and a love for science fiction. He related to the world views of these fictional characters whose philosophy was giving into desire and domination over the weak.

[PKG]

28. Oh, I perfectly understand.

I somehow doubt the uniforms were what was appealing to Dahmer--and part of the reason I so liked the Empire was that really, in the movies, they use very little systematic force. I mean, they fight the Rebellion hard, but very similar to the manner in which the US fights our wars. And with the exception of Tarkin's insanity, the Rebellion seems able to match the Empire blow for blow. Rebels get blown up, Rebels blow up thousands of Imperials at once. Rebel planets get captured and sympathisers killed, Rebels launch suicidal near-terrorist attacks at soft targets and engage in covert killings of conscripts. Might as well pick the side with the cooler uniforms.

Of course, I never did like the Emperor. I always thought it would be best if Luke were to assassinate him, then join up with Vader and rule the galaxy peacefully.

And then I turned 10. Apparently the editors at Weekly Standard have yet to accomplish this feat.

[The Revolution]

15. That's twisted

How can they be serious?

A "benign" dictator? The Emperor killed and enslaved billions! Hitler doesn't even come close.

I always thought it was pretty obvious that the rebels plans for a post-Imperial universe was the restoration of the republic. Which is what they did in the novels that take place in this time period. And though the New Republic had its own problems, it was the remnants of the Empire that fractured and came under warlord rule. Because the Empire concentrated all of the power in the hands of a single individual, it completely fell apart the moment that individual disappeared. How is that a good form of government?

These people are completely out of their minds!:crazy:

[wuushew]

16. Episode IV showed no evidence of slavery on Tatooine

While mass genocide was up under the Galactic Empire, it seems that slavery was pushed back as governmental control expanded into the Outer Rim Territories.

Also it seems the Empire had its own version of the drug war. Why else would Han complain to Jabba about having to dump his contraband cargo of spice at the first sign of a imperial cruiser?

[ComerPerro]

18. OMFG - That's real!!!!???!!!

[ComerPerro]

19. So, I get it. This author thinks Saddam should have remained in power

Check out his beef with the rebellion:

As we all know from the final Star Wars installment, "Return of the Jedi," the rebellion is eventually successful. The Emperor is assassinated, Darth Vader abdicates his post and dies, the central governing apparatus of the Empire is destroyed in a spectacular space battle, and the rebels rejoice with their small, annoying Ewok friends. But what happens next?

In all of the time we spend observing the Rebel Alliance, we never hear of their governing strategy or their plans for a post-Imperial universe. All we see are plots and fighting. Their victory over the Empire doesn't liberate the galaxy--it turns the galaxy into Somalia writ large: dominated by local warlords who are answerable to no one.

And, here is why he loves the Empire:

None of which is to say that the Empire isn't sometimes brutal. In Episode IV, Imperial stormtroopers kill Luke's aunt and uncle and Grand Moff Tarkin orders the destruction of an entire planet, Alderaan. But viewed in context, these acts are less brutal than they initially appear. Poor Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen reach a grisly end, but only after they aid the rebellion by hiding Luke and harboring two fugitive droids. They aren't given due process, but they are traitors.

The destruction of Alderaan is often cited as ipso facto proof of the Empire's "evilness" because it seems like mass murder--planeticide, even. As Tarkin prepares to fire the Death Star, Princess Leia implores him to spare the planet, saying, "Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons." Her plea is important, if true.

But the audience has no reason to believe that Leia is telling the truth. In Episode IV, every bit of information she gives the Empire is willfully untrue. In the opening, she tells Darth Vader that she is on a diplomatic mission of mercy, when in fact she is on a spy mission, trying to deliver schematics of the Death Star to the Rebel Alliance. When asked where the Alliance is headquartered, she lies again.




Ok, first off: Its better to have a bunch of evil warlords who are corrupt but loyal to one evil figurehead through fear of retrubuiton than to have warring factions? In that case, Why did Bush get rid of Saddam Hussein? This guy likes the dark side and the empire so much, be he has described its "beauty" in a manner that sounds like conservative complaints about Saddam Hussein's Iraq.

If the Emperor was great because through tyrrany he kept order, and the Rebellion is evil because they have created chaos where there once was order and peace, then what must the author think of George W Bush's role in Iraq?

[Kitsune]

20. jesus christ, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read

None of which is to say that the Empire isn't sometimes brutal. In Episode IV, Imperial stormtroopers kill Luke's aunt and uncle and Grand Moff Tarkin orders the destruction of an entire planet, Alderaan. But viewed in context, these acts are less brutal than they initially appear.

Because destroying an entire planet isn't that brutal, no.

[beevul]

21. The piece and its author ignore one tiny detail...

Tarkin:"The imperial senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I have just recieved word the the emperor has disolved the council PERMANENTLY. The last remnants of the old republic have been swept away."

Imperial fleet commander: Impossible. How will the emperor maintain control without the beurocracy?

Tarkin: "The regional governors now have direct control over their territories. FEAR will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battlestation."

Benign indeed. :eyes:

Yeah, a benign galactic empire is one that rules with a gun to the head the "local systems". :eyes:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

22. So does this make Negroponte Boba Fett?

:D

[PKG]

29. Hyperkick!

"The dark side of the forum is a gateway to many posts some consider to be...kicks."

"Can I learn this power?"

"Not from an admin..."

[PKG]

30. Final kick.

Goodbye, sweet thread, and may a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest.

[clem_c_rock]

31. Case in point - World ruled by the PNAC and the PNAC media

At least someone's being honest for a change.

[PKG]

32. With all the Sidious-Bush similarities, I'm surprised Lucas hasn't

put anything about a whored-out media in so far.

[clem_c_rock]

33. no kidding on that - nothing would be more welcome now

[PKG]

34. Eh, mebbe the special editions...

[livinginphotographs]

36. Everything you ever wanted to know about fascism...

"None of which is to say that the Empire isn't sometimes brutal. In Episode IV, Imperial stormtroopers kill Luke's aunt and uncle and Grand Moff Tarkin orders the destruction of an entire planet, Alderaan. But viewed in context, these acts are less brutal than they initially appear. Poor Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen reach a grisly end, but only after they aid the rebellion by hiding Luke and harboring two fugitive droids. They aren't given due process, but they are traitors."

With all the "unpatriotic" and "treasonous" garbage the right spews, you have to wonder if this guy is in the minority in his defense of the Empire.

[Avalux]

38. So that's where the neocons got their ideas?

Star Wars movies. They're such a bunch of out-of-touch freaks.

[newportdadde]

39. "I'm Luke Skywalker I'm here to rescue you"

"Rescue me... surrreee but whats YOUR plan for Social Security?"