Bush to address the nation Friday night

[Elwood P Dowd]

Well, the weekend is almost here, the beer is cold, and Bush is still an idiot, so let's make up some Bushit speeches.




"My fellow amerkurns, Saddam Hussian has escaped. He has teamed up with al Kider and is digging up his Air Force planes and Weapons Of Mass Distruction as we speak. It is critical that we get my judges approved in the Senate. It is critical that we get Social Security reform passed. Otherwise, Saddam Hussian and his tearists will attack, and mushroom clouds will apear on the herrisen of amerkurn cities and towns."

"There have been no tearists attacks on amerkur since that fateful day when I read the Pet Goat story and then bravely went to Nubraskur to excess the damage. I bravely went back to New York and told you I was going to kill them guys who flew the planes into them buildings. Not one of them pilots is alive today."

"We also need that important free trade deal, CAFTA, passed. If congress doesn't act, Saddam and his murdering tearist will invade and konker Central Amerkur."

"So feller amerkurns, you must demand that Congress pass my laws and approve my judges if I am to protect you from Saddam and al kider. I hate you for your free.....I mean they hate you for your freedoms. They is in their caves with their cell phones prepared to attack. We must act now."

Thank you, and God bless amerkur.

[Erika]

1. And he was wearing white undershorts as shown on Drudge

We will find him. Now Osama is a different matter, (let's not discuss him)

[radfringe]

12. no - he'll be in a banana costume

and get your banana t's here: http://www.cafepress.com/radicalfringe

[LightningFlash]

2. He'll just make another phony speech.

Like he always does, pending orange to red terror alerts. Of course on top of that Cheney will attempt to force some proposal. But this time the public is awake, his reign may have ended.....

And not a moment too short, was its term.

[eleny]

3. Maybe he'll reveal the plot to steal the strawberries???

[Erika]

4. or the location of the WMD's.

[Al-CIAda]

20. LMAO! N/T

[lwin]

5. You left out the part about one legged Zarqawi..

Almost bein' caught again and how he's gunna hunt 'him down and bring 'em ta justuce...

[eleny]

6. To think we can't catch either one

Zar limping around on one leg and Osama dragging his dialysis machine over mountains. :shrug:

[Blue Belle]

19. Yes... but according to an army commercial...

Our military technology is so advanced that it can detect a fly on the lapel of some unsuspecting enemy...

I have to crack up every time I see it...

[leveymg]

7. This is too good to keep to ourselves. Everyone kick!

Classic Bushisms. When did you start hearing him inside your head, you poor, suffering nut?

LOL!

:D :evilgrin: :toast:

[The_Casual_Observer]

8. People need to invest their own money, ya see

It's called ownership ya see, in other words we own you ya see.

[warrens]

9. OMFG

You have him to a T.

Yer childrun and granchildrun need reform right away. I am tryin to destroy social security for all time, wait, tryin to SAVE social security for all time, an by the way, Merka, we're winnin' this here war. Freedom is on the MARCH. Sure, thousands of your sons and daughters have been killed real dead, and hundreds of thousands of sand niggers, oops, freedom loving Iraqis have died. But we are in a battle to save our country, and rather than train airport screeners to take away sharp objects or train airline employees to kick some ass if someone comes up to them with something as wimpy as a fucking box cutter, we're gonna declare war on the whole damn world.

Please, Merka, talk to your children. Explain to them why they have to go over to Eye-Rak and North Korea and Eye-Ran and fight for my fortune...I mean, FREEDUM. While it is true that when my sorry ass is finally driven out of Washington, I will become a billionaire, that is not what you should be thinking about, Merka. You should be thinking about them evil faggots, I mean gay people, wantin' to marry up. Jobs and salaries and health care and all them other worthless things are just stupid. Faggots, I mean gays, hitchin' up is what counts. And sure, me and Jeff have had a bit of fun. Hell, evry man likes to have a bit of fun with other men. Just like my good friend and true patriot Neil Horsley said, if it's wet and warm and wiggly, go for it. But we ain't no faggots, I mean gays, because we like a little man love oncet in a while. Hell, like Roy Cohn said, I ain't no faggot, I mean gay, I just like to fuck boys. And Merka, you can take that to the bank.

[Turn CO Blue]

16. OT: but I can assure you

that the crews on my airline are more than sufficiently trained to kick some ass if/when threatened. Those two flight attendants know how to make sure that those who threaten violence will "remain comfortably seated with your seatbelt securely fashioned" for the rest of the flight. (In one incident with a man who turned out to be a schizophrenic off his meds, his arms were duct-taped into the armrests -- have a nice flight!) They've also been through training to use things that are normally onboard to defend themselves.

But most important - they've been trained to enlist willing passengers to assist with loony-bins.

You would need a howitzer to get through the door to the cockpit, btw.

Mini-rant: air rage is a much bigger problem than the threat of terrorism by political or religious extremists on an airplane. It's the ones who want to get drunk that you have to watch out for. The Trans and Safety Admin is wasting time and energy searching everybody (and secretingly profiling Muslims and Arabs), but we really ought to be profiling people who've had a DRINK IN THE BAR! Tens of millions of people fly per year, and pre-9/11 there was a growing trend of hundreds of flight attendants getting slapped, punched, thrown around and generally assaulted by people who insisted (violently) that they should be served another drink!
/rant

[Athame]

23. Far, far too fluent...

but a riot, nonetheless! :thumbsup:

[OneBlueSky]

10. 'scuse my ignorance, but . . . is he really addressing the nation . . .

on a Friday night? . . . or are y'all just havin' a hoot? . . .

cause if he is, that's just a tad worrisome . . . just a tad . . .

[viva la resistance]

11. For sure. n/t

[radfringe]

13. have some fun with his speeches...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3692295

[YankeyMCC]

14. So says Kommander KooKooBannas

[Stand and Fight]

15. Serious question.

Is he really addressing the nation tonight?
:hurts:
Right before the weekend? This cannot be good.

[meganmonkey]

17. I don't see anything about it

on Google News or White House.gov site....

[Stand and Fight]

18. Nor did I...

I could not find anything using Yahoo, AltaVista, Google, or the White House site... I guess this thread is meant to be funny. :eyes: Thanks Megan!

[FSogol]

21. Since his approval rating goes down each time he speaks...

I wish he'd give more speeches to us "Mercans".

[fob]

22. One correction to your speech.

"We also need that important free trade deal, CAFTA, passed. If congress doesn't act, Saddam and his murdering tearist will invade and konker Central Amerkur." "In uther werds, uh, by central Amerkur I mean Kansas, Mizzurra, and uh, Nebraska and one of the Dakotas. See whut I mean is, central Merika is the heartland and even if they do get there and start a killin', it ain't my fault"