USS Ronald Reagan

[theriverburns]

"Well, boys," said the Captain as he took his young sailors around, giving them the ten cent tour of the Navy's newest aircraft Carrier- "the Ronald Reagan" "this vessel is the finest fighting machine in the world. " The Us Navy spared no expense building this, the most expensive fighitng machine in the world. A floating city.

It also came in late and 400% over budget and is the first time the Navy had to go into hock to pay for a project. They cut hazard pay, healthcare for retired vets and have younger officers on food stamps to help defray the cost of the overruns.

The vessel features $900 toilet seats, a $400 billion weapons guidance system that was paid for ten years ago but is yet to be installed and was built entirely with foreign steel.

The USS Reagan will be used exclusively to guard oil tankers coming from the Middle East.

The Carrier's slogan is, "Nancy, have you seen my teeth?"

This will make your head explode: the next carrier is going to be called the USS George HW Bush. It will be paid for entirely by tax cuts and they have already decided on a slogan, "Thank you, Saddam, we couldn't have done it without you".

Also in the planing stages is the George W Bush which will be the first in line of our new class of "stealth carriers", and will be able to completely disappear for months at at time even though on active duty!!!

[Zech Marquis]

1. makes me sick

I hope the Raygun's computers "forget" everything while it's still in the shipyard :evilgrin:

[leftyandproud]

7. ..

I heard the deck was 6 ACRES!!! Ridiculously large. We don't need anything this big.

[Kolesar]

2. that was too funny! eom

[TlalocW]

3. More expenses

They decided to use more expensive Grecian hair formula as lubricant rather than oil for the moving parts and engines.

TlalocW

[StClone]

4. First Carrier named for a living person

Ronnie are your supporters trying to tell you something?

[theriverburns]

6. Is G HW ALive?

"First Carrier named for a living person"

I guess they figure on King Georgie the 1st being gone soon, too. God I hope so. A long, painful suffering illness.

Who's grave will be the most pissed on? Ronnie's, Georgie 1's or Gerogie 2's?

[CO Liberal]

5. The USS Ronald Reagan Will Forget Where It's Going

:-)