I've decided that I am a bitch

[Horse with no Name]

Seriously.
One of my friends professes to be a Dem, however, she sends me Right Wing email spam continually. I have asked her not to, but yet she does.
So I asked her to quit sending it to my main email addy because luckily I have been able to keep it free of spam and with forwarded messages, not sure how long I can do that. She did start sending it to my web based email account.
This same friend has a penchant for calling me at 2-3 in the morning just to chat, even though I have repeatedly asked her not to. She hardly ever sleeps because she had a back injury and is addicted to prescription pain medications. Most of the time that she calls during these hours, she is hardly coherent. Slurs her words, etc.
Never ever when I say I have to go, will she get off the phone. After saying ten times that I have to go to sleep, I will finally have to just break it off rudely and say good night.
We just had a major disagreement. Her daughter is married to an illegal.
She won't ever say it, but I believe he is a drug dealer. They spend money unbelievably. They pay large amounts of cash for cars and trips.
Their home is furnished with high end furnishings. I believe her bedspread cost over $1000. Neither of them have jobs.
My friend, however, thinks that the government owes her daughter and her kids a handout. Since they don't have any reportable income, her kids are on the state health plan. Now, her mom said that her daughter needs to go sign up because she needs her gallbladder out. She got angry at me when I asked her why they didn't forego their summer trip that cost well over $50k and pay for her own surgery? I didn't feel the taxpayer should be liable for this cost.
So, my friend called me a bitch. I don't know, I think I like it...
But I believe that a nationalized healthcare system should be provided for everyone. However, I don't believe in scamming the government.
It is wrong. I think of people who have to do without so that this woman (who qualifies on paper, but certainly not by a long shot otherwise)can have expensive toys, yet not have to be responsible.

[Name removed]

1. Deleted message

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[JHB]

2. More power to ya, but in this case you're not the one that comes to mind..

...when that word is used.

[bleedingheart]

3. i have to ask...why not report her?

if what you say is true and something illegal is going on...then reporting her would make sure that people who really need the help will get it.

[Horse with no Name]

9. Because I'm not wired that way

regardless of if I ever speak to the woman again, I can't breach the confidences we had as friends. It is the government's responsibility to make sure that the people they allow on these programs qualify.
The only way I would ever speak up would be if the kids were being harmed, and they aren't.
Right, wrong or otherwise...karma will get them if nothing else will.

[bleedingheart]

15. i understand your point

it is just that i live next door to a very nice family that has a daughter suffering from Picks disease and they are having trouble getting assistance for their daughter who is 41 and basically a victim of an Alzheimer's like disease....the government is making them jump through a myriad of hoops and yet there are people cheating the system out of cash and going undetected...

(by the way i think most of the cheats are those who provide services ...since i worked in the medical field for a while and ran into some cases of medicare fraud...)

[Name removed]

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[Maru Kitteh]

49. If the parents are drug dealers

The children are being harmed and endangered. Period. Unfortunately I have seen plenty of this from the inside. Not something I'm proud of, but I divorced the bastard.

Allowing things to continue as they are all but ensures the family will continue on a cycle that, while temorarily rewarding, is harmful not only to society at large but the family members as well, including the kids. Turning them in now could break that cycle, hopefully in time for the childrens benifit. The woman is not likely to serve any kind of a long sentance unless she has a whole boat load of priors. It will be harder for her to scam and easier to get the help she and her family should be getting - drug recovery.

It's not too hard to figure out why a drug addicted mother is excusing the actions of her drug selling daughter. Most dealers are addicts also.

Children who grow up in an addict environment ARE being harmed.

[Boredtodeath]

67. You know nothing of the sort

The OP made ALLEGATIONS.

But, don't hesitate to encourage her to destroy a family where these children will become part of a system guaranteed to fuck them up forever.

Yeah, let's throw all those drug dealers in jail and those kids into the hands of a DCF that manages to lose children, create a 2nd generation of drug dealers and physically and sexually abused kids who have no skills useful in the real world.

And don't forget the mother - she'll manage to have a felony conviction that will keep her from EVER doing any meaningful professional work in her life. At least she won't get that gallbladder surgery at taxpayer's expense - until they arrest her and her medical care becomes a state requirement.

And, hell, that "illegal" husband won't ever pay another coyote to bring him back over the border to deal more drugs, after you get through with him, right?

But, hey, that grandmother won't be sleeping on $1000 sheets anymore! Oh no, she'll get a mat in the local jail just like Judith Miller!

Yeah, hurry now.........turn them in..........KIDS BEING HARMED. But not harmed quite enough - we have to give them to the state, after we've destroyed any semblance of family available to them so we can FINISH HARMING THEM.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

[Boredtodeath]

12. I can't believe I'm reading this on a DEMOCRATIC board

Jeezus! How far we have fallen!

Thanks, for bringing the Reagan "cadillac driving welfare queen" back to life.

Turn her in?????????? Turn her in?????????

Good heavens!!!!!!!!!!

Just an FYI - if she gets turned in and goes to jail, the taxpayers STILL pay for her gallbladder surgery.

But don't hesitate to destroy a family while you're on a moral high horse there.

[zanne]

27. I know what you mean, Boredtodeath.

It's bad enough getting these opinions in my everyday life or in the media, but when I log onto DU I expect some liberal opinions and not this self-righteous, judgmental crap.

[Name removed]

29. Deleted message

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[zanne]

33. "Dealing drugs and $1,000 sheets"?

Re-read the original post. The poster SUSPECTS all these things. She doesn't even know anything for sure, but she's willing to turn her into the government. Calm down, Archie!

[Maru Kitteh]

59. Oh bullcrap! She's got way more information than you do

No jobs and vacations that could even be suspected of costing 50k?

Maybe they have the worlds only United States Treasury money tree, right? Puhhh-leeeeeeaaaaaaaaaze. :crazy:

[tanyev]

4. Here, you need some of this.

[Ready4Change]

5. At some point you're going to have to question...

Whether this person is your friend.

I mean, it seem YOU are HER friend. But is she YOURS?

[bleedingheart]

6. by the way....what you described isn't bitchy behavior

it is being realistic and honest..

i got rid of a similar friend years ago and have been much better for it overall...

[SmokingJacket]

7. Welcome to the bitch club.

Who needs friends like this, though?

There are better people out there...

If it's any consolation, she's leading an unsustainable life. Something will break, and my bet is soon: dude will go to jail, IRS will come sniffing around, something.

[sam sarrha]

8. just have to know when to let go.. quit enablling..

[SammyWinstonJack]

10. Some one should report them to the appropriate authorities.

:shrug:

[Maru Kitteh]

62. I agree with you because

1. It's wrong
2. To give the kids a chance to get out of that cycle.

[LiberalEsto]

11. She sounds mentally unbalanced

Anyone living that kind of bullshit life is definitely missing several cans from the sixpack.

Why waste your time associating with this idiot? Block her e-mail, block her phone calls and wipe her out of your mind.

[Horse with no Name]

25. She is

She has been taking oxycontin for about 5 years.
Her entire life centers around her next doses. In every conversation we have, she has to "brb while I take my medicine".
All of our other mutual friends have long abandoned her, I have felt sorry for her for a long time.
I have suggested she try to get in a treatment program for her addiction. I have suggested she go to pain management specialists.
I have suggested she try alternative medicine.
She wants to try methadone because she read on the internet it is stronger than oxycontin.
I have finally quit having these conversations with her, because I find myself being far too judgemental on her situation.
However...these problems have been brewing for a few weeks.
She feels that I enable my daughter. My daughter is 20 years old, has a 2 year old child, works and goes to college.
I occasionally will help her by doing some of her homework because she is exhausted. She continually rags on me about this. Says I do too much for my daughter because I watch the baby. When she calls and wants to do something, most of the time I have the baby and decline.
She thinks my daughter should do everyone on her own. I think it is my obligation as a parent to help her get on her feet.
Those are really the core issues at this disagreement...this is just how it manifested itself.

[LiberalEsto]

39. Shut this woman out of your life, please

She is a prescription drug addict and drugs are controlling her life and her thinking. Don't take anything she says seriously.

By helping her in any way, you are enabling her and preventing her from hitting bottom. Hitting bottom is often the only way an addict gets a dose of reality and starts working toward recovery.

If you want to know more about enabling, check out the Nar-Anon website, http://www.naranon.com/

Nar-anon helped me learn to deal with a friend with drug problems. You don't need to go through the whole program, just read some of their material and realize why you have to stop "helping" this person or listening to her drug-addled nonsense.

Her comments about you "enabling" your daughter are just more of her drug-addled nonsense. Your life and your daughter's life are none of her business. Who is she to comment?

[Name removed]

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[Horse with no Name]

16. truly isn't a joke

should be though.:shrug:

[Misunderestimator]

21. So all that crap was serious?

[Name removed]

17. Deleted message

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[Horse with no Name]

18. I haven't seen CSPAN

am a little offended you would suggest I have seen a RW talking memo.
If you would take time to look at my postings (I consistently support illegals coming to this country to work to feed their families, I support a nationalized healthcare plan, etc)I'm definitely not a freeper.
I just think this entire sitution is incredibly sad.
It's 100% true.

[Boredtodeath]

22. That's not what you said

You got on your moral high horse and said others would have to go "without" because of your "friend."

None of which is true.

Medicaid is determined by ability to pay - not by how many others use/qualify for it.

Let's see how long it takes your thread to get to the site that shall not be named here.

[Horse with no Name]

30. Didn't think it was a moral high horse

perhaps it was.
I think of people like Andy, etc who have a hard time getting funding for what they need.
Regardless, I think it's wrong on so many levels.

[Misunderestimator]

41. How dare you bring his name into this little charade of yours...

:grr:

[Name removed]

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[Name removed]

47. Deleted message

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[yodermon]

52. This thread should be locked

but not for the reason you think.
The exact opposite, in fact.

Jeez, you're outright accusing the OP of being a racist and a right-wing "welfare-queen stereotype" apologist, when the OP was clearly just posting about her PERSONAL SITUATION in good faith and asking for advice. ... and you have the fucking audacity to call for the threads removal? Fuck.

If you want a thread deleted alert the mods directly, don't engage in the public abuse of the OP because you might disagree with her views.

:mad:

[Name removed]

55. Deleted message

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[Misunderestimator]

58. "People like you." What does that mean?

[Kathy in Cambridge]

70. I can't imagine that you would be shocked at people's reaction

was this some kind of DU litmus test?

[Boredtodeath]

42. Riiiiiiiiiiight!

It's wrong because she pissed you off.

It's wrong because she sent you spam so you have to come to a public message board and confess your feelings.

It's wrong because your "friend" pointed out that your 20 y. old kid is not self sufficient.

It's wrong because your friend is "getting a free ride and sleeping under $1000 sheets" and you're not.

So, stay on your moral high horse, but don't forget it when someone does the same to destroy your family.

Is your grandchild receiving state sponsored medical care? Somehow, I think I know the answer to that question.

[omega minimo]

51. "CHEAPENS THE DIALOGUE FOR EVERYONE"

[Maru Kitteh]

68. Moral high-horse? Bullshit, it's called HAVING morals unlike

Unlike
Bush
Bush
Cheney
Ken Lay
etc, etc and so on

Maybe you should try reading the post again. She never said other people would go without, that's your bullshit. She just pointed out it is WRONG that other people have a hard time getting the medical care they need while this lying drug dealing welfare cheat takes grand vacations and lives like Paris Hilton.

Guess people pointing out right and wrong bugs you.

[Boredtodeath]

71. You're late to the party

The OP did INDEED say what these people are getting results in denying others "more entitled."

But the mods deleted that post. So, stay up to date, please.

[Name removed]

24. Deleted message

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[Horse with no Name]

36. Hmmm

:hi:Cya

[Name removed]

23. Deleted message

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[Misunderestimator]

40. I agree... ignore is useless if something stays up for others to see..

which breaks all SORTS of rules and is the most OBVIOUS RW tripe I've seen posted here in months. Seriously.

[Brewman_Jax]

14. You sound like the sane one

here's a good story: in the Mexican bar/restaurant I used to frequent (closed due to bad management), I heard the stand-in DJ (discharged vet freeper) and the bartender (OWG freeper) complaining about...liberals (no surprise). They want to homeschool or send their kids to private schools to avoid the "liberal influence" in public schools. Then the DJ said, "I'm glad I have the final interview next week. My unemployment is about to run out." :crazy:

Unemployment insurance, a liberal idea. I thought good neo-con conservatives didn't need handouts. :eyes: I should've asked him when he's gonna give the money back.


The above story is real. The names have been changed to protect the guilty, but neo-cons are never guilty.

[Misunderestimator]

19. WTF? MARRIED TO AN ILLEGAL? Hello? If she is married he is not illegal.

:wtf:

And BITCH? and OMG! This post is offensive on SO many levels!!

:grr:

What other shit do you want to pile on top of this crap? Wow.

[Horse with no Name]

31. They married in Mexico

They are legally married. He is here now.
I can call MYSELF a bitch--can I not?
Sorry that this offends you.
Feel free to hit the ignore button.

[Misunderestimator]

35. No, my choice is to object to your language, not to ignore it.

Yes, it offends me for you to call yourself a bitch.

Yes, it offends me for you to use the term "illegal" ESPECIALLY when the person is NOT illegal.

Yes, it offends me for you to paint this whole RW welfare queen picture at all.

[Horse with no Name]

38. He is an illegal alien

What don't you understand?
They married in Mexico--he paid a coyote $4k to bring him into this country after he married.
What part isn't illegal?

[Misunderestimator]

43. She is an American citizen, right? They are married, right?

And what the hell do you mean... "he paid a coyote"... is that some new racist slur I'm not yet familiar with?

[Kaylee]

48. Coyote....

Someone who guides/brings you across the border.

Slang: A person who smuggles illegal immigrants into the United States, especially across the Mexican border.

And I'm confused also. How can you be an illegal immigrant if you are married to an American. If it is because they got married in Mexico (no marriage license), why don't they just get married here in the states (unless there are INS complications I don't understand).

edited to add dictionary definition and comment.

[Misunderestimator]

53. Interesting. Why would a Mexican married to an American have to be....

smuggled, I wonder, since him being married to an American citizen makes him a legal alien. Nothing more than inflammatory language it seems.

[Horse with no Name]

56. Nope

being married to an American citizen does NOT make you a legal alien.
Check your immigration laws before you spout your charades.

[Misunderestimator]

60. Yes it does qualify you to enter the country legally and get a green card.

Check your immigration laws before you spout your charades.... um, whatever that means...

[Horse with no Name]

63. No it doesn't

He had been here previously on an expired visa...when he tried to cross into the country again, they tore up his papers at the border.
He then proceeded to get a coyote (that is what they are called) to bring him into Los Angeles. It cost $4,000.

[Misunderestimator]

64. All your explanation doesn't get over the fact that your use of the term

"illegal" has racist connotations. ESPECIALLY, since he has EVERY right to be in this country legally, being married to an American citizen.

But whatever, keep explaining... I know what you meant.

[Kaylee]

65. I'm guessing it has to do with being married in Mexico...

no marriage license. It appears there was some reason they thought they couldn't get married here in the states legally.

My larger question is, what does his immigrant status have to do with the story. The story the OP was telling is about a woman who has loads of money, but wants the government to pay for her surgery. IMHO, there will always be cheaters and scam artists, what bothers me are the generalities and comments on race, motivation, and character that are often implied in these stories (All black welfare recipients are cheating the system, all Mexicans are illegal or drug dealers, etc). It leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.

That being said and all unintended race implications aside, I hate to see people get over... and I would be proud to be called a bitch in this case.

(edited for spelling and additional comments)

[Name removed]

66. Deleted message

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[FuzzySlippers]

61. Even if they married in Timbuktu,

if it was a legal marriage, and she is an American citizen, then he can enter this country legally.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

72. If he married an American, he wouldn't have to be smuggled across the

border.

This story gets more dubious with every one of your posts.

[Name removed]

44. Deleted message

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[raccoon]

20. Her calling you a bitch doesn't make you one.

Sounds like you're better off without this woman as a "friend."

[tishaLA]

26. Unbelievable

This is a good thing to start the week with. Or something.

Good progressive values here. Yikes.

[Boredtodeath]

32. Hey! When they "turn her in"

Then there will be nothing to complain about.

Those "halfbreed" kids will be taken to foster care (AND LEGALLY QUALIFY FOR STATE AID).

The "illegal" husband will be deported - after the taxpayers paid thousands to house him while his deportation hearings are conducted.

And that "welfare queen" will go to jail and get her gallbladder surgery for FREE - on the taxpayer's dime.

But, let's be sure we encourage moral high horses because someone sent the OP spam!!!!!!!!

[Triana]

28. b.i.t.c.h.

b.abe i.n t.otal c.ontrol of h.erself

What's so bad about that? Kudos to you.

[geckosfeet]

34. mmmmmmmmmm,,,,,,,,,, thats not a friend.

[RandomKoolzip]

45. I wonder what Gloria Steinem would make of this thread.

[Misunderestimator]

50. Yeah... that's an easy one.

:eyes:

[Kathy in Cambridge]

73. no shit

:eyes:

incredible...

[King Coal]

54. You're not supposed to use the "b" word.

[yodermon]

57. I thought you simply can't call someone a "bitch"

directly, on this board. It simply falls under the personal attack statute.

The OP did not do this.
What am I missing?

[Cats Against Frist]

69. Thanks

Though the misguided and emotional "identity politics" seem to be getting in the way of your initial point -- I agree, that those with plenty should not be milking the teat of Medicare/Medicaid/Social Security, etc. People do it all the time, though -- white, black, Hispanic, etc. I think those that defend it simply have a guilty conscience.

There are people who really have to go with nothing, while selfish people, with plenty of resources milk the state. To me, that's just greedy -- and no different from the greed that leads the fat cats to do what they do. It's truly universal -- Democrats and minorities, included.

And yes, it happens. It may not be the norm, for people who collect state assistance -- but it damn well happens.

[Boredtodeath]

74. So tell me, what WILL you have to complain about

when and IF Universal Health Care becomes a reality in this country?

Guilty conscious? 'Fraid not.......it's just plain not the belief system of a truly democratic society.

What it IS, however, is a life of jealousy. Jealous that someone else is getting more than you.

What is IS, however, is blatant racism and petty jealousy over SPAM email!!!!!!!!!!

[Moderator]

75. Locking.....

This has become inflammatory.


DU Moderator