Onion: White House Denies Existance of KKKarl Rove

[paineinthearse]

The Onion predicts the White House's next move in its defense of Karl Rove in the CIA leak scandal.


Above: This rare photo depicts the man Bush Administration critics are calling "Karl Rove."

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4131&n=1

WASHINGTON, DC—The White House denied rumors of wrongdoing by anyone named Karl Rove Monday, saying the alleged deputy chief of staff does not exist. "To my knowledge, no one by the name of Karl Rove works for this president, his staff, or for that matter, anyone on earth, since he is not a real person," White House press secretary Scott McClellan told reporters Monday.

Despite White House denials, allegations have surfaced in recent weeks that Karl Rove is the man who leaked covert CIA operative Valerie Plame's identity to the press. He is rumored to be President Bush's senior advisor, chief political strategist, architect of the president's 2000 and 2004 election victories, and the current deputy White House chief of staff, as well as a frequent guest on televised political talk shows.

"None of these allegations are supported by the facts," McClellan said. "The opponents of this administration have created a mythical figure in order to discredit the president. All they have done is divert attention from the important work at hand—the war in Iraq and the war on terror. In doing so, they have dishonored the sacrifices of our brave men and women in uniform." "This time," he added, "the Democrats have gone too far."

According to fringe journalist Lou Dubose, author of Boy Genius: Karl Rove, The Brains Behind The Remarkable Political Triumph Of George W. Bush, Rove was born Dec. 25, 1950 in Denver, CO. Dubose alleges that Rove lived in Colorado with his family until 1963, when he moved to Salt Lake City, UT. According to Dubose, the shadowy figure entered politics in college, quickly moving through the ranks to become the chairman of the College Republican National Committee at age 22. McClellan reiterated his denial of Karl Rove's existence 33 times during the press conference. When pressed, he distributed a list of "real, actual political figures about whom I'd be happy to comment." The list included only President George W. Bush and Secretary of Transportation Norman Y. Mineta.

more.....

[NYCGirl]

1. LOL! This is probably closer to the truth than they'd care to admit.

Remember Chalabi? Sitting behind Laura at the State of the Union one day, "met him once in a reception line at some event" the next.

[myrna minx]

3. Don't forget Kenny-boy Lay.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/bushlay1.html

You know, he was an Ann Richards supporter. :eyes:

[meegbear]

2. Did they really say KKKarl Rove?

[paineinthearse]

4. Their headline

White House Denies Existance of Karl Rove

The "KKK" part was mine

Hey, this is not the LBN forum!

[Lilyhoney]

5. A friend just brought us a copy of the Onion.

It has been a while since I have had a copy and I forgot how funny they are.:rofl:

[autorank]

6. ((((LOL)))))

[dogday]

7. At this point they wish they could

they should take off their shoes and roll up their pants, cuz the crap is piling up on this administration....

[Nothing Without Hope]

8. Oh, what would we do about the Onion? And it's amazing how often

their satiric titles are all too true! (Wait a few seconds for a great captioned Rove photo from AllHatNoCattle.net.)

http://www.allhatnocattle.net.nyud.net:8090/rove22222.jpg

[paineinthearse]

9. Rove doesn't need to be a ventriloquist

All he has to do is speak into the microphone wired to *'s brain...