The Authentic Texan Plays Host (CAPTION)

[Crankie Avalon]

"...and this here is a pair o' genu-wine Black Eyed Susans, Pedro.
They seem to bloom in August every year here on the ranch."

[Avalux]

1. He's wearing his uniform

Every time the idiot goes to the pig farm, he wears the same light blue plaid shirt photo ops. The.same.shirt. :silly:

[Missy M]

2. This here shirt I'm wearin' was sewed up by the little woman I'm...

hitched to. Ain't it purty.

[booksenkatz]

3. The look on that guy's face tells me that

the chiggers had by this time definitely honed in on his crotch area, having already left his toes, ankles, and the area behind his knees covered with welts. The butt crack and waistline will be next. No amount of Chiggerex will help. Poor feller.

The only people who can even tolerate it are people who, like me, are from the area and have an idea what they're facing and can prepare accordingly. Or people with just mere nuggets of brain in their skulls who, like shrub, actually seem to enjoy it.

[Lars39]

6. lol

:rofl: Thanks! I needed that!

[Booster]

8. Just put your website in my favorites column so I can go back and

check it out completely. I love Patsy Cline and just bought one of her CD's yesterday. I kept seeing that commercial about trains and heard her "Life's Railway to Heaven" and it kept haunting me and, lo and behold, I say it in Best Buy and had to have it. Good luck with the website.

[booksenkatz]

11. Seriously? Very cool!

I've had the site since 1998, it's gotten good reviews in magazines, even got a VH-1 award way-back-when. I don't do much updating these days, as I find myself spending too much time at DU, LOL!

[Booster]

12. Wow. That makes me want to check it out even more. I know what

you mean about spending too much time at DU. ha Since I'm retired, you'd think my house would be spotless, but so far all that's happened is my butt has gotten much bigger and I'm more angry than ever because of too much time on DU. I'm going to be one of those little old ladies in the paper where the cops say "The house was just a mess; cat cans everywhere, dirty laundry, etc." ha

[Ravy]

4. These here hands have milked a lot of bulls... (n/t)

[rkc3]

5. Look at the size of these foam rubber thingies. They're almost as

big as Turd Blossom's balls.

The jackass next to him is thinking - "Turd Blossom's Balls?"

[Kikosexy2]

7. Why Pedro...

as you can see, I have huge acres of coa-coa plants here which makes mountains of cocaine just for my own personal stash--muy bueno, que no?

[Ian David]

9. You cup the horse's balls like this...

[dogday]

10. I stepped in a pile of shit this big

gotta be sharp when walking thru the grass....

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

13. For a guy who does as much manly brush-clearing as he claims,

he sure has skinny arms.

Of course, you don't need a lot of muscle to hoist a glass of Jack Daniels.