* Official rules of possession (borrowed from toddler rules)

[Horse with no Name]

1. If I like it, it's mine.

2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.

3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.

4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.

5. If it's mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in anyway.

6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.

7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.

8. If I saw it first, it's mine.

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.

10. If it's broken, it's yours.

[jsamuel]

1. hehe

:thumbsup:

[ThoughtCriminal]

2. Mine! Mine! Mine!

[atommom]

3. 11. If one of my buddies might be able to make some money off it,

it's mine.

12. If it involves reading, it's yours.

[atommom]

4. BTW, anyone have a copy of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition?

Edited to add that I found them, and I think they're very apropos.

A few examples:
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
Know your enemies ... but do business with them always.
Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.

http://www.sjtrek.com/trek/rules/

[LeftyMom]

8. Of course

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rules_of_Acquisition

1. Once you have their money, never give it back. ("The Nagus")
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to. ("The Maquis, Part II")
6. Never let family stand in the way of opportunity. ("The Nagus")
7. Always keep your ears open. ("In the Hands of the Prophets")
8. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. ("The Storyteller")
10. Greed is eternal. ("Prophet Motive")
16. A deal is a deal. ("Melora")
17. A contract is a contract is a contract – but only between Ferengi. ("Body Parts")
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. ("Heart of Stone")
21. Never place friendship before profit. ("Rules of Acquisition")
22. Wise men can hear profit in the wind. ("Rules of Acquisition")
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother; insult something he cares about instead. ("The Seige")
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss. ("Rules of Acquisition")
34. War is good for business. ("Destiny")
35. Peace is good for business. ("Destiny")
47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. ("Rivals")
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. ("Rules of Acquisition")
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum — treasure them. ("Armageddon Game")
59. Free advice is seldom cheap. ("Rules of Acquisition")
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. ("Rules of Acquisition")
75. Home is where the heart is but the stars are made of latinum. ("Civil Defense")
76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. ("The Homecoming")
94. Females and finances don't mix. ("Ferengi Love Songs")
95. Expand or die. (False Profits (VOY))
98. Every man has his price. ("In the Pale Moonlight")
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. ("The Jem'Hadar")
103. Sleep can interfere with opportunity. ("Rules of Acquisition")
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. ("Rivals")
111. Treat people in your debt like family - exploit them. ("The Darkness and the Light")
112. Never have sex with the boss' sister. ("Playing God")
119. Buy, sell, or get out of the way.*
125. You can't make a deal if you're dead. ("The Siege of AR-558")
139. Wives serve; brothers inherit. ("Necessary Evil")
168. Whisper your way to success. ("Treachery, Faith, and the Great River")
190. Hear all, trust nothing. ("Call to Arms")
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. ("Whispers")
203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms: they can be succulant but sometimes they can bite back. ("Little Green Men")
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer. ("Ferengi Love Songs")
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success - don't hesitate to step on them. ("Bar Association")
214. Never begin a business transaction on an empty stomach.* ("The Maquis")
217. You can't free a fish from water. ("Past Tense, Part I")
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust. ("Ferengi Love Songs")
239. Never be afraid to mis-label a product. ("Body Parts")
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Latinum. ("Bar Association")
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished. ("The Collaborator", "The Sound of her Voice")
286. When Morn leaves, it's all over. (Made up by Quark in "The House of Quark" as a joke)
299. Whenever you exploit someone, it doesn't hurt to thank them. (That way it's easier to exploit them the next time.) ‡

*Rules which have been quoted on Deep Space Nine but have no episode reference.


‡ This rule was made up by Neelix posing as the Grand Proxy in False Profits (Voyager episode) to "out-Ferengi the Ferengi" and isn't apart of the actual Rules of Acquisition.

-------
Thank the Nagus for Wikipedia. I have a book with them in it, but I really din't want to type them all.

Yes, I'm a geek.:dunce:

[Pharlo]

9. According to "The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition" by Quark as told to

Ira Steven Behr,

However, you appear to be missing the two which Herr * idolizes:

# 181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.

# 261 A wealthy man can afford anything but a conscience.

[LeftyMom]

10. If you've got a wikki account you should edit those in.

I've got a copy of that book around here someplace. Where is the question, of course. :eyes:

[bhunt70]

5. I thought this was about the excorcist, or drugs.

[atommom]

7. Well, sure, drugs and Satan play a part too. But it's mostly just

plain vanilla greediness.

[NoSheep]

6. hm.....sounds like corporate amerika!

[atommom]

11. kicking so the nighttime crowd won't miss out

on the toddler/Ferengi/Bush comparison!