Bush will NEVER be impeached.

[GaYellowDawg]

If * was caught porking a Great Dane on a satanic altar in the Oval Office by all the major networks while on the phone authorizing murder with signed presidential orders authorizing illegal wiretaps, murder of US citizens, and embezzlement from the US Treasury, the Republican Congress would excuse it and the RW spin machine would leap into action.

O'Reilly: "Some say there's a problem with a satanic altar in the Oval Office. I find it unbelievable that America would fault someone for expressing his first amendment right to freedom of religion. And don't you know that Great Dane sex is a religious expression? The media fascists are on a witchhunt again."

Ann Coulter: "It's no worse than what went on in the Clinton White House. I've heard from numerous sources which I've footnoted that there was a satanic altar in every room of the White House and in between having sex with interns, Bill Clinton had sex with every single AKC breed while in office. Not to mention that the Clintons made more money off of Whitewater than the mere $1 billion that our president borrowed. And some citizens should be murdered and wiretapped."

Sean Hannity: "Well, at least he wasn't having homosexual sex in a mosque, and if you look at the entire US budget, $1 billion is actually a very small amount of money, not worth being upset over. And using terms like murder and wiretapping just isn't fair. It's actually referred to as involuntary cessation of activity and silent anonymous conversational participation. Both of these are invaluable weapons in the war on terror. Of course, the liberals want terrorists to win. You can read about it in my newest book."

Rush Limbaugh: "Friends, I tell you, this is all nothing. You have to look at the big picture. The economy's strong, we're winning the war on terror, and the minor peccadillos of our president - nothing worse, really, than happens in fraternities - don't matter."

Bill Frist: "As a surgeon, I've seen the videotape, and the Great Dane looks like it's enjoying itself. Plus, I can tell you that sex with canines is a great way to avoid STD's."

Right wing bloggers: "If you take a clsoe look at video frame #132, the left rear paw on the dog in the CBS vide ois approximitly 0.3mm off o fthe same position in the NBC video. Nto only that, the font characters in the 'murder' memo come from a 1971 IBM Selectric, not a computer, because if you blwo up pixle 13452 by a factor of 100,000 then digital recnstruction can show that the typeset line is off by 2 micrometers and comptuer printouts don't print offset! And their's been a voiceprint analysis done on the presidnet's supposed 'love talk' to the dog... when he says, 'was that nucular for you, too?' the analysis said it was 100% Bush's voice except for 'too' and they could only pinpoint that at 99.4%, so all of these discrepincies that the liberal 'experts' say don't count clearly add up to one thing: THE PRESIDENT IS BENIG FRAMED!!!"

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. NIce rant. You nailed it.

BTW..don't you have a birthday coming up? (if you are the yellow dog poster I recall you do..anywany..if so..happy birthday..if not..sorry for the mistake)

[jeff30997]

2. ROTFL!

:rofl:

[benburch]

3. Nope...

But he might still be forced out of office.

Mussolini was an absolute dictator, and look how he ended up.

[whistle]

4. "...satanic altar in the Oval Office"........

...That's where shrub preforms his daily ritualistic animal sacrifices and mutilations. One of these days * will appear before a press conference with his fangs still in place and blood streaming from the corners of his lips.

[MemphisTiger]

5. Sounds like a Skull & Bones initiation

nm

[whistle]

8. Same thing....

[KyndCulture]

6. HAHAHAHA that was freaking great! nominating!

[brainshrub]

7. I hate to agree with you.

Bush could stroll down Pennsylvania Avenue nude, blowing away tourists with a sawed-off shotgun, and he'd still get away with it.

[KyndCulture]

9. pitiful isn't it, but oh so true.

[dutchdoctor]

24. You're not wording it correctly,

A scene like that would be described by the corporate media as:
"Our commander in chief, dressed in one of his more manly outfits, has single-handedly killed several potential terrorists while exercising his second amendment rights."

[no_to_war_economy]

10. " you cant touch me , ha ha ha ha "

[KyndCulture]

12. did he bathe in bronzer or what? smarmy fucker.... nt

[progressoid]

11. We've gone from impeachment for the ridiculous to

ignoring the gravest of crimes.

I'll give this another vote!

[Akoto]

13. LOL. Love the Ann Coulter quote ...

"And some citizens should be murdered and wiretapped." :rofl:

[Literate Tar Heel]

16. the sad thing

is that that's probably the least satirical part of the whole piece ... that's actually a pretty tame comment for Coulter

[Akoto]

17. Yeah, I know!

I shouldn't laugh, but it's funny because it's true. Look up some of her crap on the internet to see the *really* scary stuff.

[libhill]

14. LOL

That is fucking priceless - and absolutely true. P.S. - Nominated - yeeeee haaaaw!

[Spazito]

15. ROFLMAO!

Great OP and I love how you have the rw bloggers down pat including their propensity for bad spelling. Well done!

[nolabels]

18. All them SUPER-FREAKS in your rant would of been in jail ten years ago

Or sitting curbside outside a halfway house. If we didn't have culture dedicated attacking anyone socially motivated there would be no rewards for such people. When I was a young school age kid history made me bored because seemed so mundane and unimportant. Now that if found how much I have been lied to and the details twisted that it seems that is the only thing that is important.

They don't continually keep trying to rewrite them history books because they are proud of how it all looks. The power in them in them is knowledge they contain and it's very important. Without history we are just bags of protoplasm waiting for our time to give back the elements in them.

JETHRO TULL LYRICS

"Wind-Up"

When I was young and they packed me off to school
and taught me how not to play the game,
I didn't mind if they groomed me for success,
or if they said that I was a fool.
So I left there in the morning
with their God tucked underneath my arm --
their half-assed smiles and the book of rules.
So I asked this God a question
and by way of firm reply,
He said -- I'm not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays.
So to my old headmaster (and to anyone who cares):
before I'm through I'd like to say my prayers --
I don't believe you:
you had the whole damn thing all wrong --
He's not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays.
Well you can excomunicate me on my way to Sunday school
and have all the bishops harmonize these lines --
how do you dare tell me that I'm my Father's son
when that was just an accident of Birth.
I'd rather look around me -- compose a better song
`cos that's the honest measure of my worth.
In your pomp and all your glory you're a poorer man than me,
as you lick the boots of death born out of fear.
I don't believe you:
you had the whole damn thing all wrong --
He's not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jethrotull/windup.html

[electropop]

19. Hahahaha!

Amazing writing!

Fortunately, I disagree about your conclusion, but you nailed the RW a-holes perfectly!

:headbang: :rofl:

[raccoon]

20. that was great, you should be writing comedy or be a

stand up comedian!

[meganmonkey]

21. Oh god that's hysterical

for my own sanity, I have to pretend that your premise is wrong and that he will be impeached, but that said, your delivery is absolutely hilarious!

:rofl:

[cry baby]

22. Thank you for the laugh out loud post this morning...

I needed that!

[pat_k]

23. Back in June, 2 in 5 said "Impeach 'em if he lied"

<link> ...In a sign of the continuing partisan division of the nation, more than two-in-five (42%) voters say that, if it is found that President Bush did not tell the truth about his reasons for going to war with Iraq, Congress should hold him accountable through impeachment. While half (50%) of respondents do not hold this view, supporters of impeachment outweigh opponents in some parts of the country...

Capacity Crowds Call for Impeachment

Win back the House and Impeachment is inevitable.

[BrklynLiberal]

25. Agree with earlier poster. Your career should be comedy writing.

:rofl:

[pat_k]

26. If you want to see the House bring articles of Impeachment...

If you want to see the House bring articles of Impeachment...

Order a few copies of Hoodwinked: The Documents that Reveal How Bush Sold Us a War and send it to your representative and the House Leadership of both parties.

In Hoodwinked, "national security analyst John Prados has compiled and annotated the key source documents behind the selling of the Iraq war to the American public. As these CIA reports, Pentagon briefings, and other materials clearly show, Bush and his spokespeople were playing a crude game of three-card monte, claiming Iraqi ties to Al Qaeda, weapons of mass destruction, and imminent threats, which are here exposed as half-truths, exaggerations, and outright fabrications of a war-mongering administration."

The book is "a first-hand view of incontrovertible evidence that we were had."

"Hoodwinked" provides more than enough evidence to support articles of Impeachment. Prados has done their work from them and it is a book that every member of the House needs to know about. Every copy they get from a constituent demanding an Impeachment inquiry will chip away at their denial. The more copies of this impeccably researched and documented case against the administration they receive, the harder it will be for them to claim they have insufficient evidence to more forward.

Note: Prados' book is not to be confused with Jack Cashill's polemic, "Hoodwinked : How Intellectual Hucksters Have Hijacked American Culture."

[Vinnie From Indy]

27. Beautiful! You can hear each of the pompous idiots in your head while you

read your post.

[leeroysphitz]

28. Beautiful. n/t

[Blue-Jay]

29. That's some funny stuff!

:thumbsup:

[Raster]

30. Right on! Nailed it!

[fortress]

31. as David Cross put it..

he could eat a Jewish Baby on TV and nothing would happen.

"What??? Am I made of f-ing TEFLON?!!?! ! !?! ! ?!?!?"

(apologies to the P.C. crowd.)

[Nothing Without Hope]

32. Better watch out - didn't Coulter get caught plagiarizing recently? She

sees this copy, she's gonna steal it for sure.

The funniest things are near the truth - and this is, in spades. :appause:

[Independent_Liberal]

33. Nice piece. Very funny. But NEVER SAY NEVER!

It's hard to tell what the RW spin machine will pull these days. True, Bush has gotten away with a lot. But he CAN be impeached. It's just extremely difficult. Somebody on this board did a great piece recently about the "False Statement Statute." It's the belief that even if they lied the country into war, there's no way they can get prosecuted. This is a false statement. It's a false belief that gets spread around quickly and people take it for gospel. There are laws that are supposed to prevent them from doing things like this. One thing this person pointed out was that if you insist on staying silent and don't bother fighting, you'll just be remembered as those people who stayed silent back when Hitler gased millions of innocent people. This is a good thing to remember. Next time they tell you "There's no way it can happen," just think "False Statement Statute." "False Assumption Statute" is another good way to describe it. I hope we're okay on that.

[Independent_Liberal]

34. Another thing I must add...

I think the people who keep saying never are the defeatists. I refuse to be one of them. I am going to keep fighting on.

[pat_k]

35. Even if it were true, "we can't win" is no reason not to fight

For too long, people have used their assessment that "we can't win" as a reason not to act. When we fail to take a stand against a wrong, we become complicit in that wrong.

We fight these fights because we must.

If you want to see the House bring articles of Impeachment...

see my post above.

[GaYellowDawg]

43. I know.

It's not a statement of defeat, it's a rant of exasperation. With that said, for impeachment to occur, Bush will have to do or say something awfully damning on some sort of recorded media that can be forensically proven to be tamper-free.

[Aristus]

36. It's scary that you can blog like a right-winger.

Really scary. :scared:

[GaYellowDawg]

41. No, it's not. It's actually easy.

All you have to do is remember the Top 10 things about the writing style.

1. It's pedantic/bombastic.
2. It will go to any lengths to defend neocons, usually using #3.
3. It will go to any lengths to trash liberals.
4. It's angry/mean.
5. It has a towering self-righteousness.
6. Spelling and grammar are for WIMPS!
7. It's absolutely right, and anyone who disagrees is absolutely wrong, a traitor, is evil, and is either a communist or a terrorist sympathizer.
8. Bad things are either Clinton's fault, or his penis's fault.
9. Maybe they're Hilary's fault.

And finally...

10. Technobabbly-sounding bullshit is a nice extra.

Take heart. It's a lot easier for one of us to imitate stupid than it is for one of them to imitate smart.

[Jim Sagle]

37. Man, your Charles Johnson imitation at the end RRAWWWKEDDD!!!

just as sure as God made little green footballs. ;)

[GaYellowDawg]

40. You know what's scary?

I don't even know who Charles Johnson is.

[jhain]

38. Frist channeling Ricky there?? n/t

[are_we_united_yet]

39. If this wasn't so damn deadly accurate

this would be one of the funnniest posts in a while.

[GaYellowDawg]

44. Call it kidding on the square.

I know it's depressingly accurate. However, it's laugh, cry, or hole up in a tower with weapons, and I prefer Option A.

[Catholic Sensation]

42. heh sounds like what Triumph said Ken Mehlman would have said

had Bush taken a dump on the floor of the debate:

Oh you know you would spin it. You'd probably say he looked very comfortable up there...

[Stand and Fight]

45. I don't agree with the premise, but this is absolutely hilarious!!

This is hugh!!!1!!!1

[GoBlue]

46. Thanks for the laughs. nt

[VOX]

47. Nice work, GaYellowDawg!!! Kicked and recommended. n/t

[burythehatchet]

48. great work

:thumbsup:

[Dorian Gray]

49. true....

your rant made me laugh. :) I never really thought that he'd be, though.