A boy not yet a man seeks something more by joining the army

[cynatnite]

A 17 year old friend of my daughter's and who we consider a friend to the family had an incident at school yesterday. Somehow it involved an argument with the vice-principle that got him sent home for three days. As a result, he won't be going back to high school, but will continue with adult education and still receive his diploma. Next month he turns 18.

A few years ago he had told me he wanted to join the army. I expressed my concern since we are at war and blew it off. Teenagers change their minds frequently enough so I didn't think much more about it. As a result of what happened he and his mother visited with the Army recruiters and the plan is for him to join.

His mother, who I wish had an ounce of common sense, thinks the experience will force him to grow up. In another time, I couldn't agree more. But during wartime, it's a piss-poor argument when the growing up could cost someone their life. Her request to us is not to talk him out of it.

His family is well aware how we feel about this illegal and immoral war. When the death toll climbs we get angry. We get angry at bush and rumsfeld's horrid treatment of the military. They still don't have the necessary equipment needed to protect themselves and more troops going to Iraq are coming almost directly out of training. This was a common practice during Vietnam which resulted in far more deaths than necessary because of the poor training and lack of experience.

I plan on having a talk with him at the first available opportunity and since I know more than likely his mind is made up, the best I can do is offer my and my husbands' experience and knowledge. We feel the more knowledge we can pass on and let him know what to expect the more prepared he'll be. The number one piece of advice I will give him is not to accept the first opening available. Those are usually front-line and will be the first to see combat. Also, he'll need to be wary of the bonuses. Those run into the thousands of dollars and for a young man who rarely has money in his pocket, it will be too good to pass up.

This boy does have issues, but he is a good kid who we have come to like a great deal.

Sending off young men and women to fight should never be an easy thing and bush has done just that. I personally believe the man is crazy with no comprehension of his actions and his lack of empathy toward not just the military, but also toward the innocents who have suffered and died under his oppressive hand only shows the lack of character he possesses.

While my belief in any higher being is sorely lacking, I will pray for this young man.

[ET Awful]

1. Force him to grow up, or not give him a chance to grow up?

That's the question.

[TahitiNut]

2. Without a demonstrated talent, aptitude, or experience ...

... he's guaranteed to be put in a combat arms specialty. There's no question about it, in my aged mind. Any facade of a 'deal' will be hogwash. The scams are endless -- but it's a certainty he'll be wearing a flak jacket and slogging around in a weapons platoon. The best he'll get to look forward to will be riding more than walking ... such a deal with IEDs!

[gratuitous]

3. Force him to grow up?

I've heard that so many times before, and I always wonder: As you perceptively point out, teenagers change their minds frequently. They also mature, and given the inexorable nature of the calendar, get older and take on more personal responsibility for their own well-being. Many times, that maturation process coincides temporally with a young man's entry into the military, and as if the rooster's crow brought the sun up every day, the military is credited with helping the formerly irresponsible young man grow up.

I really think you ought to have a chat with the young man after he turns 18. As his parents no doubt have proclaimed, he will be his own person making his own decisions (which process they support when his decisions agree with what they want), and additional information will only be a help to him.

[cynatnite]

4. You nailed it

What disturbs me most about this entire situation is that he is the prey. His lack of awareness of his vulnerability only makes it worse and he is ripe for the picking of any recruiter desiring to meet their quota.

[mcscajun]

5. I'd sooner have to fight with his mother now...

...than console her at his funeral later.

Good thing your plan is to talk to him as soon as you can.