THE LOUDEST CRY-LATimes: "Suicide Casts a Shadow on Conservation Battle"

[Nothing Without Hope]

Once again we see the ongoing Bush Administration policy of selling off irreplaceable, precious national nature preserves to business interests. This time, the person most directly involved in fighting this destruction chose suicide both because she was distraught over what was happening to the land and also to make the loudest possible protest.

From the details in the story, there is no doubt that this was indeed a suicide, not a murder. (A point that is necessary to make because of the odd habit of people inconvenient to the Bush Administration unexpectedly suiciding or becoming involved in freak fatal accidents.)

Reading this very long article, my primary response was sadness both at this woman's suffering and death and at what is happening in the land she literally died to protect. I had not previously heard of this particular environmental battlefield, but the story of irreplaceable natural preserves and lands sacred to native Americans degraded or destroyed for short-term profits is all too familiar. In a way, it sums up what the greed-blinded men who have stolen this country are all about.

After the following excerpt from the article, I'll add some photos of Carrizo Plain from various web sites. I recall the name because it is one of the areas where the tracing of the San Andreas Fault is most dramatically clear as it cuts across the California landscape.

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-carrizo20aug20,0,2801950.story?track=tothtml

A CONSERVATIONIST'S SUICIDE

Suicide Casts a Shadow on Conservation Battle

National monument official was distraught at shift she said favored grazing over grasslands.
By Julie Cart and Maria L. La Ganga
Times Staff Writers
August 20, 2005

CARRIZO PLAIN NATIONAL MONUMENT, Calif.

(snip)

Braun had come to the Carrizo Plain three years earlier, after the U.S. Bureau of Land Management placed her in charge of the new national monument — 250,000 acres of native grasses and Native American sacred sites, embraced by low mountains, traversed by the San Andreas Fault and home to more threatened and endangered animals than any other spot in California.

About 120 miles northwest of Los Angeles, Carrizo Plain National Monument is largely unknown to the outside world. But in Braun's short tenure as monument manager, the plain had become a battleground between conservationists and the Bush administration over the fate of Western public lands.

What began as a policy dispute — to graze or not to graze livestock on the fragile Carrizo grasslands — became a morass of environmental politics and office feuding that Braun was convinced threatened both her future and the landscape she loved.

A 13-year veteran of the BLM, Braun was torn between the demands of a new boss who she felt favored the region's ranchers, and conservation policies adopted nearly a decade ago to protecting the austere swath of prairie she shared with pronghorn antelope and peregrine falcons, the California condor and the California jewelflower.

(snip - there is much more)

http://images.wildernet.com.nyud.net:8090/graphics/california/BLM/images/bakersville_carrizoplain.jpg http://www.viamagazine.com.nyud.net:8090/images/articles/poppies.jpg http://www.forestsforever.org.nyud.net:8090/images/carrizoplainberkeley4.jpg http://www.cotf.edu.nyud.net:8090/ete/images/modules/coralreef/CRlithoP2.jpg

The final image shows a famous aerial view of the San Andreas fault cutting across Carrizo Plain east of San Luis Obispo.

[Dogmudgeon]

1. Not ANOTHER left-winger suicide!

Why, we're an unstable bunch, aren't we?

Between lefty activists and biochemists, there has been a real uptick in suicides since January 2001.

Let's see ... was it Pluto that entered the 8th House, or was it Bush that entered the White House?

--p!

[Why Syzygy]

2. Very sad

So sorry to hear this.

[rodeodance]

3. oh my. how sad.

[Nothing Without Hope]

4. Marlene Braun was respected by many local residents, including some

of the cattlemen. (The image below may take a few extra seconds to display.)

http://www.latimes.com.nyud.net:8090/media/photo/2005-08/19065142.jpg

Caption:
"She was able to keep the grazing off the bottom land for the last four years. It was an amazing achievement compared to what had happened before it was a monument."
-- Irv McMillan, a longtime cattleman and friend of Marlene Braun
(Al Seib / LAT)
August 20, 2005

[Nothing Without Hope]

5. Marlene Braun sent her papers to her friend, who wrote to her

congressman, who has requested a federal investigation. The article has a photo of the friend Kathy Hermes going through boxes of Ms. Braun's carefully wrapped belongings. It will break your heart to read how carefully she prepared for her suicide, to cause the least trouble to anyone. Her organ donor card was in her pocket and she even put a note nearby saying "this is not a homicide."

[Nothing Without Hope]

6. Here is a photo of Marlene Braun in happier days with her dogs.

Part of her preparation for suicide was "mercy-killing" her two dogs and covering their bodies with a quilt. I could not read that without trying to imagine her frame of mind. The pressure that drove her to this point must have been extremely painful. (Wait a few seconds for ithe photo to display.)

http://www.latimes.com.nyud.net:8090/media/photo/2005-08/19065140.jpg

Caption:
FERVENT: The Bureau of Land Management’s Marlene Braun, in ’99 with her dogs in Alaska, site of an earlier assignment, called California’s Carrizo Plain “a place where I finally found a home.”
(Al Seib/ LAT)

[Nothing Without Hope]

10. kick n/t

[H2O Man]

7. Sad ......

It's a sad story. People can get tired from fighting the dark force that is personified by this administration. May she rest in peace.

[hlthe2b]

21. I truly hope there is a loving GOD and Heaven for someone

like this-- she deserves eternal peace and rescue from her torment. May she be met by all she loved on earth who have gone before her, including her beloved pets.

[Nothing Without Hope]

8. The collision of land use plans, conservation vs. for-profit activities

such as cattle grazing, affects huge areas. Starting early in 2001, the Bush Admnistration's Secretary of the Interior, Gale Norton, began the process of turning away from conservation:

Under Norton, the BLM {Bureau of Land Management} began crafting a grazing policy that lifted protections for wildlife and habitat across 161 million acres of public lands in the West, including the Carrizo.

Read it again: 161 MILLION acres of public lands in the West.

Clearly, the story of Carrizo Plain has implications well beyond its boundaries.

While the ranchers weren't actually purchasing the land, they wanted to use it as part of their ranches - grazing land. Anyone who's seen what cattle can do to sparsely vegetated land knows the result. What isn't eaten is trampled and contaminated with droppings.

http://www.latimes.com.nyud.net:8090/media/photo/2005-08/19065130.jpg

[Why Syzygy]

33. We're talking

about FOOD here, ya know? Cattle. They don't live forever, obviously. This is just stunning. The battle for fuel never ends?

[Nothing Without Hope]

35. I do wonder how many cattle are in question compared to those on

privately owned land. Surely with such a sparsely vegetated area, the herd density must be very low. Are these basically marginal operations? Each answer leads to more questions, and many of them reflect issues in common with many other areas.

[loudsue]

44. I can't get any of the pictures to open!

:cry: Whassup?

[Nothing Without Hope]

60. I don't know why not, but some of the most important ones are in

a seven-slide photo essay that accompanies the article. You should be able to see them there.

To minimize bandwidth use at the photo sites, I route through a free public cache (this is how it was explained to me). If you have a dialup connection, it may take a little longer for the images to appear on your screen. Did you try waiting a while?

[Kali]

64. Um,

that eating trampling and dunging is the natural process for grass to survive. Timing is the key. Grass evolved in conjunction with grazing.

[Nothing Without Hope]

74. My thinking is that the cattle graze differently from the native

pronghorns, altering the plant species profile, and won't leave enough for the other wildife to thrive. And I've seen similar country in Texas that had cattle run on it - they do trample more than the native wildlife do. They're big, heavy animals that leave a heavy imprint on the land. Cow patties aren't the same as deer or antelope doppings. Areas that are run with cattle show it, and different plant species survive. The Carrizo Plain landscape is fragile.

[Nothing Without Hope]

9. An older article on use conflicts on Carrizo Plain- the problem is not new

Hunting is also allowed within the Carrizo Plain Monument.

The following excerpt is from High Country News, June 4, 2001.

http://www.hcn.org/servlets/hcn.Article?article_id=10563

(snip)

Indeed, Sierra Club biologist van de Hoek wants cattle banned. Van de Hoek worked for the BLM on the Carrizo from 1988 until 1993. He was then fired after complaining publicly about the BLM’s stewardship of the plain.

"I want it to be the small rodents and the elk and antelopes doing the grazing," van de Hoek says. This leads to another of his criticisms: Hunting is permitted on the monument. The result, he says, is the suppression of native grazers, including the tule elk and pronghorn antelope that the Department of Fish and Game re-introduced to the area about a decade ago.

Irv McMillan, a rancher who lives about 30 miles from the Carrizo, agrees with van de Hoek. Cattle prevent a "natural diversity," he says. "I would rather see a population of endangered species that occur naturally."

For now, however, limited grazing will continue on the Carrizo Plain. Returning the Carrizo to its original condition is impossible, says Bob Stafford, a Fish and Game biologist. "The question now is how do we go about making what’s there sustainable."

(snip)

YOU CAN CONTACT ...

The BLM, Carrizo Plain office, 661/391-6021;
Nature Conservancy, Central Coast Project Office, 805/544-1767;
The Sierra Club/The Wetlands Action Network, Robert Roy van de Hoek, 310/456-5604.

[Redneck Socialist]

31. Banning hunting will go a long way toward...

alienating the largest constituency that could help protect that area from grazing. The cattle are the problem not the hunters.

[Nothing Without Hope]

37. It seems to me, with my superficial understanding, that it would be

good to first thoroughly census the populations on the land if this has not already been done. If some species were already known to be invasive - say, mule deer - then some of them might be culled during hunting season. Hunting the less plentiful native species like pronghorns should be based on some kind of population data. Hunters could be encouraged to participate in collecting such data if the populations are too poorly known. Once it became clear that selective hunting could be maintained without collapse of native populations, then it could be done. You're right, hunters could and probably would help preserve the area.

I'm wondering about the situation there with natural predators. Ranchers tend to destroy as many coyotes and other predators as they can, with the result that natural predator/prey ratios are badly skewed. Poison baits can also destroy native animals like California condors. Are there feral dogs, goats or other invasive species, I wonder? Looks like good coyote country. Lots of questions.

I do agree that it ought to be possible to develop informed, selective hunting as part of the long-term strategy. Hunters, as you point out, would be motivated to preserve the area from degradation.

[enough]

11. kick

[Nothing Without Hope]

12. kick n/t

[G_j]

13. nominated

so very sad, but thanks for posting.

[salin]

15. nominated as well.

[Nothing Without Hope]

14. Kick - worth reading n/t

[Nothing Without Hope]

16. Carrizo Plain is part of 161 MILLION ACRES of public lands in the West

that are now under the questionable stewardship of the Bush Administration. (see post #8) They are anti-conservation whereever they are. Millions of acres of precious natural preserves are being silently destroyed. Partly because of Marlene Braun's suicide, the sad and contentious situation in Carrizo Plain is more visible than most.

[Nothing Without Hope]

17. kick - It's "hard work" getting five votes for Greatest page!

:hide:

[G_j]

18. IMHO this story deserves it

this really helps to convey the seriousness of the present assault on the environment. As the article points out, few people are even aware of this partcular 'national monument', but this situation echoes countless others across the country.

[Nothing Without Hope]

19. Thanks - I agree with you. The huge scope of damage that is being done

to precious, and in some cases irreplaceable, natural treasures is staggering.

Did you see the hundreds of millions of dollars in blatantly bogus funding the Bush Administration gave to the Alaskan Repubs? Coincidentally,, the man behind the big bucks was also a major player in fighting the environmentalists to get oil drilling in Alaskan wildlife preserves.

The Alaskan transportation windfall is another story that is absolutely mind-boggling, and on a deep level, it's related to this one. It's the same mindset - everything is only worth what it can bring in cash to cronies of the criminals in power. Here's the Alaska story:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x2021361
thread title: NYT op/ed on Republican PORK - PORK - PORK in Alaska - YOU'RE paying!

http://www.allhatnocattle.net.nyud.net:8090/bush_223M_Bridge_to_Nowhere.jpg

[G_j]

23. so very disturbing

I completely understand those who see the environment being destroyed and feel like their hearts are literally being ripped out, for I am one of them. Destroy the beauty and balance of the natural world and something inside dies as well.

[lildreamer316]

20. Crying and done.

I was very very saddend by the article but for some reason the dogs just put me over the edge.
I state unequivically that I hate the Bush administration. They are the incarnate of creeping evil. Nostradamus was right.

[hlthe2b]

24. I know what you mean...

On edit: Oh, Goodness, I hadn't read the article and didn't realize she'd shot the dogs before I wrote what follows below. I don't know how to think about this, except to be intensely sad:



As loving and thoughtful as this woman was, I can't imagine she didn't make careful arrangements for her dogs, but I've also seen how devastated a devoted dog can be after the death of its beloved owner.

The thought is heartbreaking in just the same way as a child left behind. Sending loving thoughts to those pets as well.

[lildreamer316]

26. Yep; that's why I started crying.

It just breaks my heart to peices.
Damn its too early for a drink.........(I wouldn't really anyway. Gonna go hug my baby boy and pet my kitties now).

[Nothing Without Hope]

29. It's so sad - I'm imagining her believing that the dogs wouldn't be happy

anywhere else and then killing them as painlessly as possible. I see a kind of tenderness in putting the quilt over them.

She clearly put her whole heart into her work at Carrizo and couldn't imagine starting over somewhere else. It raises troubling questions about loving concern vs. obsession in fighting for a cherished cause and how a solitary stand can be especially draining to the spirit. Without hope, there's nothing - so sources of hope, energy and replenishment must be sought. I consider that one of the great silent quests of people past the age of easy optimism. (Of course, some people never are blessed with an age of easy optimism, and a few fortunate ones seem never to leave it.)

One more photo from the article (wait a few seconds for it to display):

http://www.latimes.com.nyud.net:8090/media/photo/2005-08/19065138.jpg

Caption:
IN HONOR: Friends left a plant memorial on the gate to the ranch house at Carrizo Plain National Monument where Marlene Braun killed herself this spring.
(Al Seib / LAT)

[converted_democrat]

22. That is really sad...........

Suicide is never the answer though.

[Nothing Without Hope]

25. Yes, suicide is never the answer - it's tragic that she was driven to it

over time and nothing was done to prevent it. Even when her message indicated a likely suicide attempt, the BLM didn't call the sheriff's office. By the time, over an hour later, that medical people were finally dispatched, it was far too late.

Someone was dispensing antidepressants to her, but just shoving pills at her was no help at all. I think there's a whole story in that aspect of the tragedy too.

I can only envision suicide in a situation with an awful terminal illness that makes living unbearable. Marlene Braun had a great heart and many gifts and was loved and respected. Her death is a loss in every way.

As I wrote in reply #29, Marlene Braun's suicide raises questions about how to fight for a cherished cause without losing your self and your hope. From the article, her boss did everything he could to crush her, she worked herself to exhaustion, and she could not find the hope/energy to try to begin again somewhere else.

[converted_democrat]

28. I must say I agree with that assesment......

If someone is in terrible pain, or is suffering, I have no place to tell them that their life is worth living, if to them it is not. I just wish someone could have helped her. Suicide rarely occurs without some warning, and I wish someone would have picked up on it.

[G_j]

30. it brought to mind

for me the Buddhist monks who set themselves on fire during the Vietnam war.

[Nothing Without Hope]

34. Yes, exactly the same thing occurred to me. I do believe that her actions

indicate that she intended her suicide to be part of her fight, the last desperate action.

But I feel that her physical, mental and emotional exhaustion, her terrible situation with her boss, and her isolation eroded and eventually destroyed her ability to cope and to think in a healthy, balanced way. She clearly felt that she was driven into a trap that she could only escape by self-inflicted death, and then there was the "bonus" of making a statement that would focus attention on the situation.

How much responsibility does her boss bear? Looks like some people want an investigation to evaluate this question. I don't envy them in trying to judge.

[Gay Green]

67. "she could not find the hope/energy to try to begin again somewhere else"

And that is the goal of the Bush Criminal Cult. To loot and pillage the planet until nothing is left, to impose controls on people until not even imagination can escape, and to suck up all the hope and energy that sustains people and keeps them going. x(

[Nothing Without Hope]

69. Yes, that's what they do all right. It's a horror how much like Orwell's

1984 this society has become. There are so many chillingly familiar quotes from this book and from his Animal Farm. Here are a couple:

"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."

"It was not desirable that the proles should have strong political feelings. All that was required of them was a primitive patriotism, which could be appealed to whenever it was necessary to make them accept longer working hours or shorter rations. And even when they became discontented, as they sometimes did, their discontent led nowhere, because, being without general ideas, they could only focus it on petty specific grievances. The larger evils invariably escaped their notice."

I especially like the first of these two and sometimes use it in my DU sig line.

In a 1946 essay titled "Politics and the English Language," George Orwell observed that all political language is designed "to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind." The psychopathic fool in the White House now can't even accomplish that any more; he's deteriorating so far, they try to keep him out of sight as much as possible these days.

[YankeyMCC]

27. .

[Wind Dancer]

32. This is a heartbreaking story.

Thanks for posting, our beautiful lands are being destroyed and it is too overwhelming for many to handle.

My heart aches, there are no words to express my feelings.



"The Earth Does Not Belong to Us, We Belong to the Earth"
Chief Seattle

[Liberal In Texas]

36. Killing yourself is a stupid way to fight the bastards.

Now she can't help at all. It's better to stay alive and keep the fight going than make some transitory, soon forgotten, statement and lose your voice.

It's a sad story, but she chose the wrong route. Depressed people can be helped, I'm sorry she didn't find that.

[Nothing Without Hope]

38. I agree. n/t

[Nothing Without Hope]

39. kick n/t

[Nothing Without Hope]

40. kick - GD moves FAST! n/t

[Lilyhoney]

41. ...some stagger and fall...

Below are the lyrics of Outside The Wall by Pink Floyd. This is all I hear in my head as I think about this woman. May she be at peace.




All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you,
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand,
Some gather together in bands,
The bleeding hearts and artists,
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all,
Some stagger and fall.
After all it's not easy,
Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall.

Song by Pink Floyd

[Nothing Without Hope]

43. That is perfect. Thank you. There's another DU thread where a person

is experiencing despair over the terrible state of the US and the world and the way people don't seem to "get" it. I wrote a long post there (#66) about the quest to try to keep yourself functioning and balanced when the world seems to be caving in with no way out. Here's the thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4399305
Thread title: Guidance needed....feeling of despair....please read and contribute...

I do believe that the tragic story of Maureen Braun illuminates questions not just about fighting for preservation of the lands and seas but also about how to keep ourselves balanced and centered in the face of what seems to be a overwhelming evil.

[Nothing Without Hope]

42. kick n/t

[Nothing Without Hope]

45. kick n/t

[Nothing Without Hope]

46. kick - GD really zooms!

[BQueen]

47. as someone who's been where she was, but pulled back

I can tell you there is nothing more painful and isolating than trying to force change from within under similar circumstances.

I have tried to reply to this thread a number of times, but I've ended up in a puddle of tears and given up. I'm weeping now as I type. Not just for the tragedy of her death (and her doggies...omg, such sweeties!), but because everytime I read another whistleblower's account, it makes me feel like I'm going through it all again myself. (Many whistleblowers, including me, end up with PTSD, and the best parallel I can come up with for watching all this on the national scene now is forcing a WWII vet to watch a continuous loop of the 1st 20 min of Saving Private Ryan in IMAX)

For anyone saying "she should have gotten help" -- let me clue you, she was trying. She went to two doctors (granted, she should have made sure both knew what the other was prescribing, but WHERE THE F*CK WAS THE PHARMACIST?! I get questioned about shit I've been on for years....stuff that would NEVER be *fun* to take, by any stretch of the imagination...). Besides, she was in a location largely inaccessable, so I sort of doubt that there was a plethora of qualified psychiatrists at her fingertips. (And where was the Employee Assistance Program?)

I remember looking for help for my stress -- I went to a stress specialist. I went to my internist who (mis)diagnosed me as being depressed and put me on antidepressants. When the constant battles at work got beyond bearing, he simply started changing anti-depressants (yanking me on and off with little weaning). While normally I would be more pro-active in my treatment, I was such a basket case I took what he gave me rather than asking if he really knew what he was doing giving me that shit. (Considering that I would simply burst into tears when he asked me about work, I was lucky to form words.)

Eventually I got to a good psychiatrist who diagnosed me properly. (and from reading the article, I wonder if she had the same problem I do -- what's known as "soft" bi-polar disorder, or Type II, and has only been part of the DSM for maybe a decade) The problem is, when someone with any form of bipolar disorder is placed on too many anti-depressants, it usually sparks manic episodes. In my case, after high dosages of Paxil, then being yanked off and placed on starter dosages of something weaker, I went into a "mixed state" for a month or more. The hell of that is simply indescribable and not something I even want to try to relate. I have never seen suicide as an answer, and even then did not see it as one, but I had constant thoughts of self-harm and death (I have to say that the only thing that probably kept me alive at that point was my dog; he'd had too many people abandon him already).

The upshot of my story is NEVER to take psychotropic drugs without a thorough diagnosis by a competent psychiatrist. (That means they spend at least an hour or two interviewing you, not sit you down with an MMPI and do a quick visit in two weeks after the computer scoring) I might have been able to manage my condition without meds had I been diagnosed properly at the outset. Now, I have spent more than five years trying to recover from the neurological short-ciruiting done by the Paxil withdrawal and the PTSD. (The adjective most used to describe me before my downfall was "brilliant" - I'm still bright, but I've lost so much of my analytical skills that I know I'll never be the same. I tell people that I have been essentially mourning my own death since having to abandon the career I was so identified with.) Special Agent Jane Turner (turned in the agents that scavenged the Tiffany Globe from Ground Zero) has experienced similar medical problems -- PTSD and Fibromyalgia. http://citypages.com/databank/25/1244/article12538.asp

There's more (there's always more) but I can't continue with this right now. I started an e-mail to her best friend to offer my condolences and my experience as a possible template for investigation, but I don't know if I'm even thinking clearly about this....

A final aside that I don't know where to insert -- I don't really blame my internist, I blame the pharmaceutical industry for making all these GPs, etc., think that they can prescribe all this crap. The last thing he put me on was "the latest thing" and I always wondered if it was because that drug rep had just been in...

[Nothing Without Hope]

48. Thank you so much for sharing this experience. There is no telling how

much of her fatal frame of mind was shaped by the drugs prescribed for her "depression and anxiety," exacerbated by her exhaustion. Even her driving herself into such physical near-collapse may have been affected by the drugs.

She was so alone. Someone was throwing drugs at her, but no one was giving her the care and attention she needed.

I have PTSD, fibromyalgia and several other issues as well. I have been very wary of pills, and from what I am seeing, I'm glad I resisted them.

[BQueen]

49. The "workaholic" aspect may be part of hypomania

That was one of my tendencies that I just thought made me great at my job (which I LOVED), but it turned out to be a symptom. I always thought mania indicated ebullience, and I could rarely be described that way. An irritable, harshly critical, workaholic insomniac absolutely convinced of the correctness of my position...well, yeah, that fit sometimes. I never knew they were symptoms.

The addition of the drugs could have increased the hypomania, making her even more of a workaholic. Plus, the stress leads to even more insomnia, and what's a workaholic to do when they can't sleep anyway? I went through a period where I slept maybe an hour a night (if at all) for about two weeks. Then, knowing I was out of it due to insomnia, the "old boys" called me in to gang up on me...it was great fun...for them.

[Nothing Without Hope]

50. Your story is sounding more and more familiar. I was "laid off" under

very similar conditions. I was working 12, 14 hours a day to "save the project" and be a hero, they let me do it and kicked me out just in time to take credit for my 2 years of heartbreaking thinking, organization, and endless work without the help I needed. I was really, really good - but that didn't matter. Lies, brutality - it didn't matter at all.

I didn't see it as a symptom until later either. The fibromyalgia came later, the icing on the cake. I think the sleep apnea helped to trigger it, though it did come up coincident with a vaguely flu-like illness.

Here are my good wishes for healing. :hug:

[BQueen]

51. Fibro came up similarly with me, i think

I had one winter where I seemed to have a slight case of the flu for months -- just every joint aching and barely able to climb a flight of stairs sometimes. Lost my voice for about 3 weeks, iirc. (Former Agent Turner mentions in her interview a link between fibromyalgia and stress, as well)

Many similarities, i agree. Another analogy I've used to try to get people to "get it" is that of Frodo at the end of LOTR - I felt like I "saved" the workplace I loved, but was so damaged by the act that I could no longer take any joy in it.

Thanks for the healing wishes -- right back at ya :hug:
(in case you haven't heard/read -- Nutrasweet is really bad for Fibro sufferers, once I cut it out entirely, I have had much less joint pain)

[Nothing Without Hope]

53. I don't buy Nutrasweet, but now I will more carefully check the labels of

what I drink. One of the easy downward spirals I fall into sometimes is that I feel too tired and sore and ill to cook nutritous, healthy food. Then, without regular nutrious, healthy food, I get more tired, sore and ill. So easy to get into these things. When I read about Marlene Braun's weight loss and minimal diet, that rang yet another bell.

So far, the best relief I have had has been from shiatsu massage. Mixed results as yet from acupuncture, but then I have other issues like foot tendonitis that just came a few months ago too. Acupuncture sure worked for some other things.

[MisterP]

56. I can really see how much that took, for you to tell us this

[BQueen]

68. Thank you, it's important for people to know stories like this

First, because we will be inundated with mistreated whistleblowers who are in the ranks of the current administration (career civil service who are trying to keep the system from falling apart from within, thinking "but if I left, what horror would take my place?"). People need to be on the alert for signs like those presented in this case so they can intervene. Women like her are like the Energizer Bunny -- just keep going and going until a wrecking ball takes them completely off their feet.

Second, because of the Big Pharma constant touting of a happy pill for everything, and irresponsibly marketing them to regular doctors who don't/can't spend the time to do an adequate analysis, nor are they trained in the nuances of these meds and brain chemistry. They also often buy the company line of non-habit forming and no withdrawal, etc. so they don't even know symptoms of problems when patients raise them (tell the patient they must be imagining things) They can cause real lasting damage.

Third, because the stigma of this stuff needs to be gotten past if anyone is going to get adequate help. My soft bipolar diagnosis is hard to come out of the closet with, because people immediately think "mental illness" when in reality, it is a mood disorder. And it is something that is easily missed since it does not involve the outrageous high manic states of the original Bipolar/Manic-Depressive diagnosis. I just thought I was cranky sometimes.

I swore that I would do anything I could to prevent others from enduring what I went through -- wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. So, if sharing my experience on DU helps that happen, I can deal with shedding a few tears at the keyboard. Hopefully it will help me be better able to deal with explaining it in person. I'm very young to be retired, so questions are inevitable and responses aren't always enlightened.

[Nothing Without Hope]

52. kick - this tragic story has lessons for us all n/t

[Nothing Without Hope]

54. kick n/t

[Nothing Without Hope]

55. kick n/t

[Blue_Tires]

57. ttt n/t

[XOKCowboy]

58. Thank you for sharing this story

Although suicide is a terrible option it's evident that she had a pure heart and believed this was all she could do to bring attention to the plight of the Carrizo Plain.

As a person with a strong Native American heritage, seeing the desecration of our last great natural resources sold for short term monetary gain really sickens me.

GodSpeed Marlene

[hatrack]

59. But when poacher Claude Dallas murders - MURDERS - two game wardens . . .

He gets to be a folk hero, personifying all that rugged-individualism bullshit that we're so fond of talking about in this country all the time.

You know, just like the rugged-individualist ranchers who can't stand government, especially when it isn't giving them enough subsidized grazing land to feed the national beef surplus.

Way, way too much cowboy bullshit still in circulation in this country.

[Nothing Without Hope]

61. kick n/t

[Time for change]

62. Call me cynical

But do you happen to know if they checked the hand writing on the suicide note? I really don't believe that if there was any sign of homicide that a main stream news source would help us to figure it out.

[Nothing Without Hope]

63. She did much more than leave a note. Here's just part of her careful

preparation:

"It's important for me to control my destiny in this final act, and I am not afraid to die," she wrote. "But I am very weary of working, moving and of dealing with conflict over environmental decisions that mean a lot to me."

Braun wrote those words in an eight-page suicide note that she sent by express mail to her oldest friend, Kathy Hermes, a college history professor in Connecticut.

The note listed Braun's bank account numbers, information about her life insurance policy and the name of a Realtor who could help Hermes sell property that Braun owned.

She sent a second note to the BLM office in Bakersfield, and authorities found a third near her body, placed on a bench in her rustic frontyard at the Goodwin Ranch. "I have committed suicide," it said. "This is not a homicide." On top of the note was Braun's driver's license. In her pocket, her organ donor card.

With the past examples of people inconvenient to the Bush Administration meeting untimely ends, that was my first thought too. But it really sounds like she did it herself. There were lots of warning signals and she was also taking prescription psychoactive medications for depression and anxiety and was physically exhausted and malnourished. And then there was the pressure from her boss and her fears about what would happen to what she saw as both her life's work and her home.

I do believe it was suicide.

[paineinthearse]

65. ANOTHER "suicide"?

And I suppose Harry Reid and Cindy Sheehan's mom's strokes were natural, too!

[Oerdin]

66. I've been to Carrizo

In the spring time it is very nice though the rest of the year it is kind of dry. Borderline desert.

[Nothing Without Hope]

70. Yes, it sounds like parts of Texas, where I grew up. The springtime wild

flowers are amazing - I've included a couple of shots of them in the opening post.

It's the sparsely vegetated areas that are often the easiest to destroy by overgrazing and other insults. (The tropical rain forests are the easiest of all to destroy by deforestation.) The number of cattle that can be "carried" by such low-grade grazing lands is low - seems to me, providing subsized grazing for these ranchers really doesn't make much long-term sense. And it sure does a job ruining the land.

[Nothing Without Hope]

71. kick n/t

[Swamp Rat]

72. I spent a Summer in San Luis Obispo

Beautiful.

:kick:

[Nothing Without Hope]

73. Kick - I hope a lot of people read this article n/t

[Greyhound]

75. A wise woman once told me, "The strong go crazy, the weak go along" n/t

[Nothing Without Hope]

77. Oh my, my hope is to find that middle ground where priorities are set

and mostly met with grace. And then to keep finding it when it is needed most.

[Greyhound]

76. A wise woman once told me, "The strong go crazy, the weak go along" n/t