Kirk Cameron just told me I'm going to hell.

[Jara sang]

http://www.wayofthemaster.com/

I am devastated.:cry: Whatever ever you do... when he asks you if you are a Christian, just say "yes". For the love of man just say "yes"!!!

:evilfrown: <-------- me in hell

[mattclearing]

1. Is there an endless loop of Growing Pains episodes playing?

That was always what I envisioned Hell to be like.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

2. Candace Cameron told me the same thing

:cry:

[Jara sang]

28. Candy Cameron? Who is that, his sister?

Please tell me you are making that up.:rofl:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

46. I wish i was making it up

http://www.candacecameronbure.net/

She was the older sister on Full House. Now she's as loony as him!

[Jara sang]

59. Kirk Cameron married his own sister? OMG

Strangely enough, that is not something that God frowns upon. Incest is actually encouraged in the Bible. :thumbsup:

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

73. LMAO!

:rofl:

[GreenPartyVoter]

61. Oh no! He got to his sister!

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

74. Im sure the whole Cameron Family has to be in the boat at this point!

[mvd]

81. Yep, fundie alert!!

I used to have a crush on Cameron when she was on Full House. I'm now glad that the crush has since faded..

[sundog]

34. me too!

can we be roomies? :7

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

48. we are gonna have to share the same bed

:evilgrin:

[converted_democrat]

3. Well then that settles it, you must be going...I mean, Kirk Cameron

has the ear of God doncha know, it must be true. :sarcasm:

edit- for my awful grammar

[Jara sang]

33. I think he may actually be a warlock

He seemed to teleport into that website. That is a shear sign of the "black arts".

[bee]

4. wtf?!

is this for real?

[LeighAnn]

5. I just heard it from the kid on Mr. Belvadere

TV kids... pretty sad, huh?

[Jara sang]

35. good point, it's probably just some Holywood sex cult thing.

[getmeouttahere]

6. Nope, I'm telling him I'm Muslim....

and declaring jihad on his pathetic ass!!!

[Jara sang]

38. I'm with you gmoh, I may join the Islamists just to spite Kirk.

[jpgray]

7. Well, at least you can meet his career there (nt)

[sniffa]

8. y'know what heLL is?

aLL the teLevision you can watch, but you onLy get one channeL - reruns of growing pains.

[flakey_foont]

14. No

Hell is................being in a Wal-Mart in the South on a Saturday afternoon in the summer

[patrice]

21. Exactly!

Being there is Purgatory.

Working there is Hell.

[flakey_foont]

29. And what horrid crimes

have those Wal-mart greeters committed during their regular lifetimes to have to endure eternal damnation standing at the front of the store and offering shopping carts - for all ETERNITY!!!!!
(organ music!)

[patrice]

43. Basic assumption = We are I.

and vice versa - not absolutely identical, mind you - but identical in some degree. That's why others suffer for my/our errors.

Maybe I've got it backwards: Those who work there are in "Purgatory" and those who shop there are in "Hell".

[Terran]

36. Oh! Then we must have that Hell here too in the MW

Lots and lots and lots of them, little slimey nodules of Hell studding the landscape.

[kweerwolf]

9. If God wanted an actor to shill for him ...

... don't you think he could do better than using a third-rate has-been who couldn't even make a living on the dinner theater circuit?

[William Bloode]

10. I guess i'll see ya there!

By my calculation all the more interesting people will be in hell anyway. Who wants to go to heaven if it's full of those old stodgy *uckers anyhoo!

[kweerwolf]

12. In the words of Mark Twain ...

"Heaven for the climate. Hell for the company"

[bee]

41. lmao

:rofl:

I actually prefer the heat.

[Norquist Nemesis]

11. Does God speak to him?

A definite red flag of a person's sanity when they proclaim to know what God will do.

[rkc3]

49. Ask any fundie - they'll tell you God talks to all of us, every day.

[Cleita]

13. Tell him you'll look forward to seeing him there when the

time comes.

[bee]

15. kirk tells me God is angry with me

and that I should be scared.

c'mon... really? this is NOT a joke?

[patrice]

16. Wolves in sheep's clothing + Whited Sepluchre

Cameron says I should be asking if I'm going to heaven. I would like him to identify the following quote.

"Lord, Lord, why hast Thou forsaken me?"

There is no quid pro quo with God, not even with "his" own "son". We are called to choose service and to throw our lives of service into a "black hole". We are called to service without receiving anything in return, not for a reward of ANY kind, no promise of rewards, nothing.

We are to choose service for its own sake and nothing more.

Hare Krsna! Hare Rama!

[TlalocW]

17. Damn, I thought I was going to do so well

on the interactive quiz about breaking the 10 Commandments, but I had just sculpted a golden calf in the backyard last week with my bud, Sven.

"That's a good golden calf there, eh, Ollie?"
"Yah, Sven. It's a beaut."

TlalocW

[Jara sang]

23. Not only did you sculpt it

but it sounds like you coveted it as well. That's two for the price of one.

[TlalocW]

77. Yeah, and then...

I had sex with it, claimed that it was actually Sven that did it, and killed him when he objected.

TlalocW

[bee]

18. So I guess Ill see everyone in hell then...

Kirk has sentenced me there as well...
:evilgrin:

this site seriously scares me.
:scared:

[LeftyMom]

106. Don't worry

all the good bands will be there. :headbang: Heaven's just gonna have harpists and crappy Christian "rock" bands. :boring:

[ecoflame]

19. The Rapture can't come soon enough!

I think many, many people are going to be surprised when their time comes.

I mean - really, Kirk Cameron! Pfft ..... some has-been teen actor.

[RaleighNCDUer]

20. Who is Kirk Cameron? nt

[kweerwolf]

24. He played to oldest son on "Growing Pain"

It was a sit-com starring Alan Thicke as the dad. Since then Kirk has renounced his evil Hollywood past and embarked on "Christian" projects - the most prominent was the movie version of "Left Behind."

[patrice]

25. A salesman

selling "heaven".

What these Cameron et al don't know is that, sooner or later, the "people" will get just a tired of them as they are of last years clothing. They will stop responding because they are saturated.

[Jara sang]

40. That is the eternal question

that has been plaguing mankind since the dawn of time. Just who is "Kirk Cameron"? and what is man's true nature?

[Touchdown]

88. Get ready to puke.

He's just too cutesy-poo for his own good. Always has been.



Rumor has it that once he and Leonardo compared their endowments, Kirk became a Christian after he realized stud status wasn't in the cards... but you didn't hear it from me.:evilgrin: Dicaprio played a recurring charater on Growing Pains. Kirk was the star of the show. Dicaprio's career took off, Cameron's didn't. One had talent, the other had a small penis and renounced his "limitations".

[libertypirate]

22. In a related story...

My wife said to me yesterday:
She didn't understand why people would pray to a make believe spirit.

My response:
When our kid is talking to spiderman in the backyard is she talking to a pretend spiderman? or pretending she is talking to spiderman?

[bee]

39. wow.

I had to let that one sink in for a minute. What a thought provoking way to put it.

[Jara sang]

45. Kirk says if you don't accept Spiderman into your heart

you will be cast into the pit of hellfire with brimstone and sulphur. Better explain that to your child...

[bee]

60. how about if I just PRETEND to accept Spiderman...

or if I just CLAIM to accept Spiderman...
seems to works for most of the spidey worshippers.
isnt that how its done nowadays? :shrug:

[ecoflame]

104. Oh...don't confuse the issue!

It's all pretend...

[mondo joe]

26. Anyplace he's not would be definition be Heaven.

So I wouldn't worry. :-)

[sundog]

27. did he save tracey gold?

[Jara sang]

51. No he saved the other one.

What's her name, her twin that was on 'Benson'.

[sundog]

56. alan thicke?

[FuzzySlippers]

58. .

:rofl:

[sundog]

62. and he made joanna kerns walk on water

i'm sold :thumbsup:

[Nordmadr]

30. Well, I guess I'm Fu**ed!!

That is the second time I have seen someone reference that sight today, so I had to check it out. Sure sign of the apocalypse.

Guess I'll just take my pagan nature worship and go home. I didn't want to play anyway!

Olaf

[Jara sang]

52. Dude, Olaf... You... are soooooooooo fucked.

don't think that using asterisks in your profanity is gonna get you points. God knows what your intentions were.

[kliljedahl]

ALL RIGHT!! See ya' there

[Name removed]

31. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[gratuitous]

32. Well then . . .

I'm really glad that it's not up to Kirk Cameron. Doesn't he read the Bible? What does he make of passages like the story of Lazarus, who is taken by the angels to the bosom of Abraham after his death. No word from Jesus on whether the Lazarus in his story (Jesus also apparently had a good friend by the same name) was a Christian, or had any other "qualification" for getting to his eternal reward than that he was one of society's losers.

Interestingly, the rich man who feasted while Lazarus starved outside his gates, begs Abraham for a chance to warn his brothers so they don't share his fate. And Abraham tells the rich man that even then his brothers wouldn't turn their lives around.

There's also Jesus' story about the sheep and the goats. The sheep are given passage to heaven and the goats have to go to eternal torment. What was the difference between the two groups? The sheep fed the hungry, clothed the naked, and visited the sick and imprisoned. The goats, whatever else they may have done or professed in life, did not do these things. Nothing is said about the sheep being Christians or following the Four Spiritual Laws or believing the "right" way about the Great Tribulation -- but they're going to paradise.

There's no motive given for the sheep doing what they did, they just did it. The goats, however, didn't feed the hungry or clothe the naked or visit the sick and imprisoned because they didn't see Jesus in the persons of the hungry or the naked or the shut in.

Or does Kirk Cameron just skip those inconvenient passages?

[Sapphocrat]

105. But... But...

The sheep fed the hungry, clothed the naked, and visited the sick and imprisoned. The goats, whatever else they may have done or professed in life, did not do these things.

You mean Jesus never heard of goat's milk or mohair?

And when was the last time you saw a sheep visit the sick and imprisoned?

Not you-"you". Just a general "you". Or "ewe".

Thanks, folks, I'll be here all week...

[KamaAina]

37. Looks like he's got a bad case of "Seaver Fever"

Dr. KamaAina's Rx: Total bed rest, and for Pete's sake, Kirk, do not use your voice!!

[Jara sang]

55. He caught that from that Playboy chick he was banging.

[kweerwolf]

42. I'm curious what Kirk would think ...

... if he only knew how many of my teen masturbation fantasies he had starring roles in? :wow:

[bee]

50. off to hell with you!

lust = adultery = broken commandment = hell.

the priests will need their own wing.

edited to add:
*HA* my walls too were covered from photos torn from "teen beat" and "bop" ... now he's wrecked it. :cry:
I preferred John Stamos anyway.

[ronnykmarshall]

44. A message from me and my so to La Cameron:

[bee]

65. hahahahahahaha

:rofl:
thats beautiful!

At least we'll have yummy cakes in hell!
:woohoo:

[Obamanaut]

47. If Kirk were REALLY a believer, then he would also believe that

his god is merciful and might not send you to hell after all. THe way I understand their teachings he or she (Kirk's god) makes the decision as to your final disposition, not Kirk. so do not despair, all is not necessarily lost. Shucks, you may end up with me in Valhalla.

corrected spelling

[William Bloode]

53. Hahahahaha....

This made me think of something that got 1 preacher very angry at me over a simple question. All i asked him is what happened to gods wife Ashera. He went on to explain how god could never be married, then i presented him with the evidence that god Yaweh, Yaho, Ya, Yo, etc was ifact at onetime supposed to be married to Ashera, also known as El's(gods) consort. The i proceeded to educate him on how "god" was infact no more than an amalgamation of Enki, Ea, Ay, Ayya(Enki being Sumerian, the others Enki's Akkadian counter part), and of Bull-El, Baal, and Ashera all rolled into one, over the course of over a 1,000yrs of course. Hehehehe, should seen him studdering, and drooling telling me i was going to hell for comparing GAWD to be those pagan gods lol! I find it surprising that so few believers( Christian, Jew, and Muslim) actually have any knowledge of the origin of god. You figure if they loved him so much they would actually study his history.

[Dervill Crow]

68. This is very cool information.

I'm at work and quickly skimming DU, so Sumerian jumped out at me as Superman and Bull-El as Kal-El, but you've provided good stuff to Google later.

Made me chuckle and think, so thanks for the post. :toast:

[William Bloode]

87. Cool, glad i could make ya chuckle at work.

At any rate here is a fine site STACKED with information on the above subjects. Lots of info in fact it can be overwhelming in some respects. It has a nice bibliography and ideas for more study on the subject, lotsa links to.

A lot of it is the guys own suppositions but they are backed with archaeological evidence and scholarly debate on the subject.


http://www.bibleorigins.net/

[sundog]

54. lmao... take his LOVE TEST

If you saw a blind man walking toward a 1,000 foot cliff, you would immediately:

Offer him you favorite christian cd

Invite him to your house for a non-confrontational BBQ the following weekend

Suggest a more fulfilling place to walk

Warn him about the cliff

bwhahaha :rofl:

http://www.wayofthemaster.com/lovetest.shtml

[bee]

63. I cant get past the first question

No option for N/A
hmmm

[sundog]

64. just choose the most random option

:P

welcome to du :hi:

[bee]

66. lol. good point...

lying now wont matter.. Im already doomed anyway! :evilgrin:

thanks for the welcome! :hi:

[phusion]

67. HAHAHA

wtf?

Is this site for real?

"But much more noteworthy than his acting career was his conversion to Christianity. Kirk was not raised in a church-going home and describes himself as a devout atheist from a very young age. By the age of 8 he was so convinced there was no God that he laughed at those who thought there was. But that all changed one afternoon as he sat in his sports car pondering the first Gospel message he had ever heard. You can hear Kirk's testimony in his own words here:"

He sat in his sports car and found god. :rofl: :rofl:

[sundog]

71. his career is risen!

he looks like the product of a gay to straight conversion camp to me

[bee]

69. kirk has the cure for death!!!!

and here I thought everyone died.
damn that misleading science. :sarcasm:

[sundog]

72. he sure does judge a lot for a guy that claims only god can judge

:eyes:

[TlalocW]

85. I hate non-confrontational BBQs

I like to fight over food, and because the guy is blind, I think I stand a pretty good chance against him. So I would choose the 2nd, but I would be lying about the non-confrontational part.

TlalocW

[gatorboy]

57. Didn't the dad on Growing Pains have the most perfect hair known to man?

Only a man that sold his soul to the devil could have hair like that...

[htuttle]

80. It was fiberglass

[FreedomAngel82]

70. I didn't know that Camreon was God

[Richard Steele]

75. Not me! I'm buying some indulgences from Gary Coleman!

[LibDemAlways]

76. Kirk Cameron used to live next door to

a friend of mine in a relatively modest condo before he moved to a gated community with his wife and kids. I actually met him once a few years ago and he didn't talk religion at all. He's very quiet and unassuming in person. It's a shame that he gave up what could have been a successful career making "movies of the week" for the "Left Behind" series and whack-o fundie tv stuff. Not questioning his sincerity, but judging by where he lives, I'd say he still knows how to make a buck off the sucker public.

[FreedomAngel82]

78. More then likely

He doesn't seem like a bad person or anything like that from interviews I've seen of him and all that, but sometimes it does make you wonder. I do think he is a believer (and only God can call that judgment and not me) but as you said LibDemAlways it seems that Cameron is still doing the business and making enough money to live in a gated community. At least he isn't pulling a George Bush and claiming he is like the guy next door and putting up a fake front. I do give him that much. I didn't even know he lived in a gated community until you mentioned it. I remember when I was a little kid I actually loved "Growing Pains" and "Full House" for my age (I was a pre-teen). They were pretty good shows to watch. I think it's kinda funny though how he turned out to be a fundamentalist and the youngest son on there turned out to be gay. Eh. That's life I guess. But I get so tired of all this "you're going to hell" nonsense because how do they know? I didn't know they were God and made that decision. And how do they know they're not wrong? That's why it's called faith.

[FrankChurch]

79. What a wimp.

The guy is a dew eyed hasbeen who has no career, except for his idiotic, crazy Christian claptrap.

Have I told you how much I hate these people?

[smartvoter]

82. Oh, brother. How ridiculous can a person get? I would laugh if it

weren't so stupid. I love the certainty of interpretation...

[mikeytherat]

83. He might have the Way of the Master, but he's no BIBLEMAN!

http://www.bibleman.com/bibleman/home.jsp

And here I though Willie Ames had the lock on faded, B-list celebrity batshit insane. Damn, Kirk, ya done topped him!

mikey_the_rat

[Jara sang]

91. Bibleman has committed the Sin of Pride.

He doesn't need to wear bulging-muscle chest plate armor, but he does, oh yes he does.

[FreedomAngel82]

101. Good point

I don't recall Jesus going around saying he was Bible man. :eyes:

[Lilith Velkor]

84. I'm an enemy of Gawd.

Kewl! :bounce: :party: :woohoo:

[CityZen-X]

86. Just reply by saying...

we are all struggling through hell now in order to make it into heaven!

[DearAbby]

90. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...It's a bird, a plane...

It's BIBLEMAN! Do you know where your final destination will be? Ask BIBLEMAN!

I tried watching the movie left behind...my gag reflexes were working overtime...had to stop watching due to my health. Hey Kirk...Kiss my wrinkled azz! Take that back...my gag reflex again

[Vinca]

89. Tell Kirk that's a frightening thought because

hell must be continously watching his lousy acting!

[shugah]

92. so, he asks if you are a christian

and when you say no, he asks if you have broken christian commandments? where is the sense in that? :shrug:

[Jara sang]

93. I'm surprised he would even associate with those of us who will be:

LEFT BEHIND!

[DanCa]

94. He is just Jealous Beacuse Family Ties was better than Growing Pains.

And Michael J Fox is a much better person than Cameron will ever be.

[FuzzySlippers]

95. This has come as a surprise to you?

:evilgrin:

[Jara sang]

96. Kirk just phoned

appears you are on "the list" as well

[FuzzySlippers]

99. No way!!

O8) <------ me....you ------> :evilfrown:

[sundog]

108. way!!

you're goin down fuzzy! :bounce:

[Deja Q]

97. Who?

:shrug:

[Jara sang]

98. Exxxxxx-actly Hypno... n/t

[johnaries]

100. This might bother me, if I believed in hell. A JUST and MERCIFUL

God, as the bible says he is, would never send anyone to eternal punishment, without hope of parole. The very concept of an eternal hell is contrary to Jesus' teachings.

That is, unless you're a shameless opportunist looking for money and power and you need a "hook" to deceive people ...

[Jara sang]

102. according to Kirk you just made that up in your head

[Bombero1956]

103. you know Kirk...

You're slowly becoming a Growing Pain in my ass. You had talent and you chucked it in the crapper. Ask Willie Aames how his career turned out after becoming Bible Man. Now he's a flabby has been trying to loose a few pounds on Celebrity Fit Club. I guess he forgot that two of the seven deadly sins are gluttony and pride. What an asshat.

[aresef]

107. According to his 10 Commandments quiz...

We're all going to hell.