Don't you love the "I have Black friends" line?

[noahmijo]

You wanna talk racist that to me is the single most defining statement of a true racist if I ever heard one. I can't count how many times I've heard that one.

My usual question to these people who say "well I'm not racist I have lots of black friends!" in their fratboy or airheaded "I'm the perfect princess" way is usually "well as in friend do you mean someone who you have over to your home all the time? do you visit them at home? do you do more than just hang out with them at school or work?

I usually get blank looks and I haven't even warmed up yet

A friend regardless of skin color is someone you wouldn't mind leaving your children alone with someone you don't mind sharing a drink with from the same cup or bottle (unless of course one of yas got an ameoba) someone whom you trade clothing with or have no problem sayin something like "shit dude you really fucked that shirt up while we were working out or playin ball or whatever here lemme get you one outta my closet" someone you don't mind introducing to other friends, somebody you trust to be alone around your valuables

THAT'S A FRIEND

Maybe I'm hyper sensitive on this issue being that my best friend is half black half Columbian (I'm of Mexican descent) and despite the fact that together we look like we have nothing in common (he's a handsome guy that looks like he should be on the cover of rapper's digest or something and I look like metalhead) the guy is my brother as far as I'm concerned and whenever I hear someone say a racist remark about blacks I get into killmode because all I can think about is what a fantastic guy my buddy is and how sick it is that whatever punk is uttering the phrase at the moment would never dare have the balls to talk like that to my friend's 6'3 frame.

So I'm just venting to the choir here with this I know, but I've just been hearing this "But I have black friends" talk while out and about lately and it just irks me, these types do not have black friends, they just know some black people whom they wave a hello to whenever they start feeling a little self guilt at their own true nature of prejudice as far as I'm concerned.

OKAY SINCE SO FAR PEOPLE ARE MISUNDERSTANDING MY POINT READ THIS BEFORE REPLYING:

What I am referring to is when people say "I have a black friend(s)" IN RESPONSE to when someone accuses them of being racist

This isn't the same as stating you have black friends or green friends or whatever kind of friends when you're just speaking in general.

[Mythsaje]

1. I can understand...

and it's never been something I've said. I have very few real friends of ANY color, and my best friend is someone I've known for 20 years. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood though, and that doesn't bother me. I'm on congenial terms with the neighbors and that's the best I expect out of any neighbors be they my current ones or the rednecks I lived around before I bought this house.

I don't tend to share glasses or bottles with anyone at all, and I'd loan just about anyone a shirt if they needed it. If I didn't get it back, that's the breaks.

I guess I'm a private person by nature. Most of my friends share SEVERAL interests with me and if I meet someone of any background who fits that bill, they might well become a friend. Their color or background wouldn't factor into it at all.

With me it's not about race at all...it's about what makes a friend in the first place. To me.

[FreedomAngel82]

2. Wnoderful post

And so true. In the past I've caught myself saying that but realized how it sounds. So I try not to anymore. Sometimes I do out of old habbit. But it doesn't sound very good even if a person isn't racists.

[Merlot]

3. I don't think all people who say that are racist. Some are just ignorant

Really, to be racist means to have hatrid in your heart and mind about someone of a different race. A lot of people can go through life with out having deep friendships with people of other color. Doesn't mean they hate them. Can be due to circumstances. Where I live, there is one black woman. One. She's very nice. But should I make her a friend so that I can feel better knowing I have friends of different races? Maybe she doesn't want to be friends with white people, would that make her racist? Or does she just think it's easier to be around people of her own color? I don't know, but I don't think the measure of racism should be how many friends you have or don't have.

As for the people who say they have black friends, maybe that's the best they can do. They don't hate blacks. If they did, they would probably tell you so in no uncertain terms.

[gumby]

9. I think that definition of racism is horribly outdated.

Since the neo-cons have practically destroyed our common language, the notion that one has to have a personal relationship of hatred in their heart against a group is nonoperative.

Besides, the times have changed, and that definition is completely useless. The old racism has gone underground. It's been institutionally sanitized. Now, one doesn't have to harbor internal hatred to be racist.

This is one of the great accomplishments of Rush Limbaugh and the "conservative" philosophy he supposedly represents. Rush Limbaugh may not have personal, internal hatred for people with black skin, where he recoils at their sight. Instead, Limbaugh has provided a "political" ploy where people can be just as racist, but they can "externalize" it.

Racism has been externalized. Now, it's OK to hate "liberals," because most blacks are "liberal." What do you think that cry of "It's your own money, not the Government's money" is all about? It's a message with a clear racist undertone that's code for the "liberal" government is going to take your white money and give it undeserving black people.

I could go on.......

[Merlot]

11. The neo-cons may have destroyed the intent of the word

But they can't change the definition. It's still hatred. It's just more acceptable to hate, and now has more self-rightousness behind it.

[phusion]

4. .

http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/

[proud2BlibKansan]

5. Big difference between

friend and acquaintance.

[undergroundpanther]

6. Well

I hate having a racist who's in denial for a mother.She was raised in the south.She's 87.

We are not "white" We look white but we are melungeon .So in our family there are people who are not racists because they can face the fact they are mixed race,and those in my family who are defensive about thier not quite white status.It comes out in weird stupid ways. So around white people some of them they talk racist bullshit that makes me sick, and the people that are hostile to racism just "tolerate it" and complain with each other after they leave.. But me, I get pissed off and I get mad at them and say it ,and they all treat me like a monster and I walk outside because I wanna fucking smash them,and the non racist relatives walk out with me and the"gathering is over"..and theyvall tell me I did the right thing but none of THEM have the guts to say anything themselves.. I get so SICK of this....BUT when the racists in denial in my family are around blacks they shut up and act nice until they leave .. My mom,is like this for example when I got freinds (several races and white) from my transgender support group over she turns on BET.(oooh 1 black person there out of 4 people). And I know she NEVER watches BET ..I feel ashamed of her stupid ass. So I don't bring my freinds over anymore because I am ashamed of her.It's no use telling her,her eyes glaze over,she doesen't have the capacity to get past her own bullshit.

The guys they tell me not to worry about it,they are freinds with me,not her ..I told them I'd rather them come when she isn't around because Mom's stupidity upsets ME.Sometimes I don't know what to do my mom is old and bakwards...I don't like living with her,we do not get along with each other..well on many issues,, I live in her house..
And I can't afford to move out. .

[henslee]

7. I have black friend.

[TheCowsCameHome]

8. "I have a lot of black friends". or gay. or hispanic. or eskimo. or pigmy

They just want you to think they're really in the center of social circles. What phonies they are.

[MercutioATC]

10. Sorry, but I DO have black friends.

...and white friends, and Asian friends and gay friends and straight friends...

I don't think speaking of "having black friends" automatically eliminates the possibility you have racist tendencies, but it sure as hell isn't an indicator of racism to me.

I'm a lot more scared of the idiots who would never have a "black friend" in the first place.

[Merlot]

12. Agreed with both your points.

[noahmijo]

14. Sorry but you reacted and responded before reading the entire post

OKAY SINCE SO FAR PEOPLE ARE MISUNDERSTANDING MY POINT READ THIS BEFORE REPLYING:

What I am referring to is when people say "I have a black friend(s)" IN RESPONSE to when someone accuses them of being racist

This isn't the same as stating you have black friends or green friends or whatever kind of friends when you're just speaking in general.

See that written at the bottom of the original post? it was put there to avoid getting reactionary replies such as yours.

[MercutioATC]

18. My point is that REGARDLESS, it's a lousy barometer.

I've been accused of "not understanding race issues" before. I'll admit that I have some issues that most people probably have...I've always been exposed to Asians and Caucasians, but not nearly as many African Americans so I tend to be a little less comfortable, initially, in groups of people I don't know when they're not mostly what I'm familiar with (Caucasian and Asian).

However, I do have friends who are black and I'm very comfortable with them.

Regardless of the circumstance, having black friends (or stating the fact that you do have friends who are black) is absolutely NO indicator of racism (IMO).

[Mz Pip]

13. So what would the

proper response be of someone who is unfairly called a racist? If "I have black friends" isn't good enough, what is?

Just because someone calls someone a racist doesn't mean they are.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[noahmijo]

15. well if the best response you can think of is "I have black friends"

if for whatever reason someone called you a racist, then maybe you need to spend more time with your black friends.

[The Straight Story]

17. Well, I dunno

Where I come from, "Friends" means something.

I have/have had black friends, gay friends, mexican friends, white friends, and so on. People I loved dearly enough to call friends. Hell my gay best friend often states that he has 'straight friends'.

If one was racist, homophobe, et al, would they have friends of such a persuasion? They cannot very well (often) say they have family that is black or mexican if they are white (and even so, one does not choose family).

Oddly enough, in my 'hood' (as we call it), I know more blacks that are racist in their speech then whites. Yet they have white friends. It seems most trust those they know whom are white and not those they do not know personally (ie, all other whites). Now the question is - is it ok not to trust someone based on the color of their skin? My x wife had a lot of bad run ins with people of color, and never trusted them. Does that make her any more racist then the black person (or other) who has had bad run in with whites and so distrust all whites they do not personally know?

[Solon]

16. I have to disagree with you on one point...

I do NOT share drinks out of the same glass with friends, unless I'm totally shitfaced, then I don't care, but sober? Forget it, that's gross!!! Girlfriends are different of course. :)