Top 10 Ways To Be A More Effective President.

[Plaid Adder]

Just read the Newsweek piece on "How Bush Blew It." Since George W. doesn't, based on this article, appear to have ANY idea in his head how to do his job competently, I thought that instead of just bitching, I would offer him some constructive advice, as we all know how important positive reinforcement is in training any creature:

1. Sometimes, you're going to need to stay up later than 9:00 pm, if there's something really important you need to get finished before tomorrow. Caffeine can help in this situation, as would not taking whatever sedative you're obviously habituated to.

2. Can't hurt to turn on the TV now and then, if only so you know what the rest of your serfs--sorry, subjects--sorry, constituents are seeing.

3. You know how everyone who works for you is always telling you what a great job you're doing? They're lying.

4. An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of post-apocalyptic PR.

5. These people you were watching on the special DVD of news footage that your aides prepared for you? They are human beings much like yourself, and they don't like being stranded for a week without food and water any more than you would.

6. Yes, it's called empathy, George, I know it's a challenging concept but I really think it would be worth your while to make a real effort to get a grip on it. Perhaps you could make empathy exercises part of your daily fitness workout.

7. Well, because if you were capable of empathizing with another human being besides yourself, you wouldn't have to be *told* that thousands of people in danger of dying of exposure, thirst, neglect, and drowning is a problem that needs federal attention.

8. Yes, people do care whether you appear to be having what they would consider a normal human response to a massive human tragedy. It reassures them that the person running the country isn't an alien robot planning to turn the whole planet into a meat producing facility for the carnivorous brain beings of Strontium 12.

9. No, so far as I know there are no such beings. No, I cannot give them Halliburton's card. Pay attention. You need to at least be able to look like you're human, because people really like that in a leader--

10. Because they just do, goddamn it, have you been listening to--all right, you know what, go clear some brush, we'll come back and start fresh tomorrow.

Sigh,

The Plaid Adder

[underpants]

1. DVD?

I was out of the loop this weekend.

[highplainsdem]

7. Newsweek reported that Bush's aides had to prepare a DVD

with news stories about Katrina for him because he hadn't been following the news.

[underpants]

8. _

Um.....I am not sure if I have the words to respond to that....

I have tne "How Bush Blew it" printed out for reading later. It is in that article right?

Wow-I am not sure what is scarier
that he is that out of it
or
that that actually got out of the white house.

[rasputin1952]

10. Oh for God's sake...can't this idiot do ANYTHING for himself???

Does he have a special crew come in and remind him to breathe occasionally? Does he have someone come in and wipe his ass because he is just too damned stupid to figure it out himself????

Every day that passes, I loathe this bastard more than before...:grr:

[Virginian]

11. Yeah, I have trouble with that DVD thing, too.

What's wrong with an aid coming up to him and saying, "Mr. President, there is a weather crisis that has a potential for becoming a national disaster, I think you might want to look at the News for a few minutes every so often to keep on top of it."

Maybe they did and he chewed them out for telling him what to do.

He could have checked in on it between fundraisers.

Oh, never mind, he might see something negative about himself. That will never do. He must be insulated from insults. It must have been a heavily edited DVD.

Johnson was not my favorite, he may not have been perfect, but he had multiple televisions stacked up, each tuned to a different network, so he could keep up on the news. Are televisions banned from this White House as frivilous entertainment?

[underpants]

12. Fox News and only Fox News is on TVs at the White House

That is all that is allowed, from many different sources/stories.

Yes he is that shielded.

[Virginian]

17. Even Faux had news of Katrina

This man is a disaster.

The disaster president. I think I'll start a thread on that meme.

[ComerPerro]

2. sometimes, it helps to actually give a damn

[ET Awful]

3. On number 3, I'd add "You know, like you did when you said

'Brownie' was doing a heck of a job."

:)

[DanCa]

4. Have a (D) beside your name

The only democrat that could have done worse is Zell go to hell miller. But than he was never a dem.

[Atman]

5. I have a different list

10) Quit

9) Quit and take Cheney with you

8) Leave quietly in the dead of night

7) Drink a case of Hamm's and whack your head on a pretzel

6) Resign

5) Go for a very long bike ride, and don't leave crumbs to guide your way back.

4) Next hurricane, be there to witness it AS IT HAPPENS!

3) Donate the change under your sofa cushions to NOLA victims

2) Did I say "quit?"

1) Toast your Katrina success with a nice tall glass of New Orleans tap water.

[unrepuke]

15. "I have a little list"_______________Mikado's Lord High Executioner

[wtmusic]

6. You can't teach an old dog new emotions like empathy

The foundations were laid early in childhood--Georgie learned that he got what he wanted by being a stubborn little prick, and evidently Dad wasn't around and Mom encouraged it.

Gonna be a hard fall.

[lapislzi]

9. "Show up" should appear somewhere on that list

He's the president. Oddly enough, people expect him to PRESIDE. That usually involves showing up for work more or less regularly. (Ties into # 1 above).

Good read as usual.

[Blue_Roses]

13. add in there:

Poverty does exist in the "richest country in the world" and voting NOT to raise minimum wage doesn't help it.

Tax cuts for the rich don't make you look like a "compassionate conservative."

[Raster]

14. 11. Resign. Get out of the way and let someone more qualified lead.

[Ron Mexico]

16. Excellent. 12. Remove your head from your rectum, it isn't conducive to

rational thought or crisis leadership.

[unblock]

18. 11. become a democrat and surround yourself with democrats.