Heaviest element discovered: Governmentium

[Oeditpus Rex]

Just got this via e-mail:

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named “Governmentium”. Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic mass of 311.

These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

[incapsulated]

1. That is fucking funny

And very clever. :D

Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration

[Lexingtonian]

2. It's an ancient bit of Libertarian propaganda.

The slight problem with it is that their solution, if you accept this definition of the problem, is 'Lord of the Flies' on a scale of 300 million people.

[incapsulated]

3. It's still funny. n/t

[Lexingtonian]

4. quite true :-)