Pre-emptive strike on Bill O'Reilly and "Christmas is under attack!"

[DougieZero]

Can we all agree that Christmas will not be under attack before Bill O'Reilly claims it in late November?

He started last year 2 days after Thanksgiving and I look out for it every year. It's coming earlier and earlier. He milks it all through December and then claims victory in January.

Thanks.

[ThoughtCriminal]

1. Can we wait until the attacks on Halloween end?

Holiday attack season seems to start earlier every year.

[LittleClarkie]

11. Here's an interesting write up re: Halloween

sadly, I wouldn't look at the rest of the site though. I haven't been there in a while, but I've noticed that the author has gotten more and more libertarian/republican as he's gone along.

But still, an history and analysis of Halloween and it's myths.

http://www.featherlessbiped.com/halloween/hallows.htm

[Dogmudgeon]

2. Santa Claus is GAY! And he's high on smoking The Kabalah!

That might make the "Christmas Wars" into an object of ridicule to counter the oh-so-serious attention Conservative pundits usually give it.

We could petition to get Gay Eastern Sufi Kwanzaa Boxing Day (January 3rd, 20th, or February 9th, depending on the year and the ever-changing molecular weight of Unobtainium) made into a national holiday. There may also be a place for The Nineteen And A Half Days Of Yokomas (varies), Ice Wedgie Day (1/16), Elvismas (1/8), VD Day (2/14) and Drew Barrymas (2/22).

Every year since the 1960s, my family has celebrated Christmas with a meal of spaghetti and meatballs. Is it so difficult to see the connection between this humble family tradition and the magnificence of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

So ... why does Bill O'Reilly hate us?

--p!

[Kerrytravelers]

Why does little billy hate America?

[triguy46]

15. They hate us for our toys.

[jmowreader]

17. We also need to get 4/20 declared a national holiday

There's even a theme song for National Stoner's Day--"Marijuana" by David Peel.

CHORUS

Mara - Marijuana
Mara - Marijuana
Mara - Marijuana
Mara - Marijuana
I like Marijuana, You like Marijuana
We like Marijuana too.

VERSE

I want to be to be a hippy on the lower East Side for
Mara - Marijuana
I want to be a runaway I want to get high for
Mara - Marijuana
It's my life and I'll do what I want
Mara - Marijuana
It's my life and I'll do what I can
Mara - Marijuana
I want to smoke pot and I want to smoke a lot
But ask of my father you know he never smoked a lot of (chorus)

If you ever--EVER--see Peel's 1960s record "Have a Marijuana," get it--buy a turntable if you have to in order to play this. It contains his campaign speech. He said he was running for president on the "Pot Party," he promised "to be a stoner" and part of his platform was turning the clap into a childhood disease.

[beyurslf]

3. How is it under attack? I honestly don't watch him at all

[Dogmudgeon]

6. Every year ...

... right after Hallowe'en, Christian Conservatives begin their annual rite of Christurbation and accuse that a "war" is being waged against Christmas and Christianity in general.

This war, they say, is being prosecuted by Libbruls, Socialists, Communists, Nazis, Democrats, Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals, Trisexuals, Homsexuals, Heterosexuals, the United Nations, C-Rations, Claymation, Playstation, Wankers, anti-Spankers, Crank Yankers, Ravi Shankar, the producers of The West Wing, Rappers, Flappers, Kidnappers, Quadroons, Octaroons, National Lampoon, National Public Radio, the ACLU, the AMA, the American Fluoridated Enema Association, PeTA, the SPCA, the ASPCA, the General Electric Soft White Light Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Eyes, the Learned Elders of Zion, the Shtoopid Elders of Zion, the Young'uns of Zion, the Middle-Aged Schlemiels of Zion, Al Sharpton, Al Sharpton's dog, Al Sharpton's hairstylist, Alec Baldwin, the Baldwin Athletic Company, Jocks Without Jeebus, Men Without Hats, Shock Jocks, Pop Rocks, Cop Rocks, Punk Rockers, the Big Bang theory, Scientists for Social Responsibility, Scientists for Bigger Defense Budgets, Scientologists for Just Plain More Money, Heroin Users, Hero Abusers, Pot Smokers, Pot Stickers, Plot Thickeners, Hip-Hop musicians, Quadroons, Octaroons, Billy Idol, Hollywood, Bollywood, Trolleyvox, Linux, the Universal Esperanto Association, Free Association, the Association, the Free Design, Simon and Garfunkel, Donkey Kong, anti-Smokers, Jokers, Midnight Tokers, Stock Brokers, Bram Stoker, Mrs. Calabash, Bill Clinton, Janet Reno, The Evil Hillary, and Five Hundred Lubavitcher Chickens Dancing the Macarena.

Of course, they complain that they are suffering the most unimaginable persecutions imaginable, and demand that we all respect their right to shove their religion down the national throat.

Repeatedly.

Bill O'Reilly considers it to be a grave and craven offense to the Body Politic, the stain of which can only be removed by the National Loofah Sponge.

Hope this post has been of an Informative Nature to you.

--p!

[Binka]

13. I LOVE YOU

:loveya: That is the fucking funniest post...EVER! :loveya:

I copied it to a word document so I can laugh when I feel blue!

Thanks and I'm going to eat a falafel in your honor today!

Lathering Loofah Love.

[ShockediSay]

4. Maybe the voltage in his vibrator altered his brain waves

Too much voltage and most of the brain waves headed south.

So now his brains are below the top of his desk, for the most part anyway. Somebody ought to ask him about this.

[noahmijo]

5. Isn't it the "Christians" that want to ban Christmas as America knows it?

I mean I personally don't want to see Jolly Old Saint Nick barred from delivering toys to me and I really really like putting up the pine tree and decorating it.....all things that are not spoken of in the bible.

[LittleClarkie]

7. I've often said, if the Religious Right wants to ban Halloween

then they'll have to ban Christmas too. Both have pagan rituals tied to them. Ya don't think Jesus was actually born on Dec. 25th, do ya?

It was the date of a pagan winter festival that the Church was trying to compete with. The Church is pretty good at co-opting symbols and tacking a Christian meaning onto them. The tree represents new life... um... new life in Christ! Nyah, that's the ticket...

[longship]

8. These attacks on the vernal equinox have got to stop.

nt

[DanCa]

9. You know if the fundies kept thier big mouths shut the other 11 months

outta the year i wonder if this woulde even be on the radar. I used to love christmas as a kid. I still believe in Jesus but this is one one more nail in the coffin I got to put with. Thank you oh so much bill o lielly.

[Marr]

10. Far from it. I hear Christmas is actually harboring WMD and planning

to attack US.

[nadinbrzezinski]

12. Roger wilco, 8976567

I know I know project X, sorry

[Binka]

14. Kick

There is some funny shit in this thread. Morning :kick:

[Liberal In Texas]

16. So according to O'Really, the blatent commercialization of Xmas used as a

tool to sell merchandise is OK. And if we're against our tax dollars being spent on said commercialization, we're attacking Xmas.

And why is the Xmas season getting loooonger and loooooonger? I was in Lowe's 3 WEEKS AGO and they already had the fake Xmas trees up on display.

O'really is a slime. (I always have to throw than in on any O'Lilly thread.)