Let's help Scooter with his writing

[triguy46]

http://service.spiegel.de/cache/international/0,1518,382727,00.html

It seems Scooter likes writing about women's breasts. But his writing needs some help, so with that in mind, what do you suggest the next line be following his well written, conservatively erotic:

"One of her breasts now hung loosely in his hand near his face and he knew not how best to touch her."

[marylanddem]

1. eewwww!!!!

the thought of that evil smarmy snake writing that makes me ill.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. ewwwwww!!!!!

jeez, is that supposed to be erotic? Sounds more sophomoric.

MY next line in this "conservative erotic" would be:
The next thing he knew, he was picking his teeth up off the floor as she stood over him. "I don't do repukes", she snarled as she grabbed her clothes and headed for the door.

[triguy46]

3. An honest LOL. Thanks, n/t

[Sparkly]

5. "But, but, but --" he exclaimed.

"I brought my new falafel!" Dejected, he went back to fantasizing about Dick Cheney's daughter's immoral choice of a lesbian lifestyle...

[MidwestTransplant]

4. Hung Loosely? No thanks.

[triguy46]

6. Oh my gosh! He wrote that about Barbara Bush!!! n/t

[Angry Girl]

7. More hilarious right-wing author sex hangups

Other sex scenes are less conventional. Where his Republican predecessors can seem embarrassingly awkward—the written equivalent of trying to cop a feel while pinning on a corsage—Libby is unabashed:

At age ten the madam put the child in a cage with a bear trained to couple with young girls so the girls would be frigid and not fall in love with their patrons. They fed her through the bars and aroused the bear with a stick when it seemed to lose interest.

And, finally:

He asked if they should fuck the deer.

The answer, reader, is yes.

http://www.newyorker.com/talk/content/articles/051107ta_talk_collins

[triguy46]

8. I'm beginning to get this "family values" deal... n/t

[Vanje]

9. Beastiality involving children

Swell

[warrens]

10. Well, if the maxim is write what you know, this will be in an upcoming bk

One of his "roomy's" testicles now hung loosely in his hand near his face and he knew not how best to touch him."

[triguy46]

11. My second LOL of the pm.

[MsTryska]

12. wow......to quote the Sex Writer in the New Yorker...

"God these republicans are an odd bunch."


what stilted prose that was.


and what's the bit about the "lower one" does that mean a lower boob? does this chick have three breasts? is he talking about her "mound"? what the hell?

[No Exit]

13. ..."He wondered at how loosely it hung until to his horror

he realized that her prosthesis had just come off."

After that, then:

"He suddenly felt a surge warmth in his man-glands, one of which was artificial."

[ComerPerro]

14. Not knowing how to touch a woman. Must be his biography

He and OhReally ought to get together to do some writing. They both seem to enjoy writing sex scenes.

Very awkward, uncomfortable, sex scenes.