Help with justifying obsession with politics, in these times, to family.

[hang a left]

I admit that I am completely obsessed with politics and spend several hours a day on DU. My husband thinks everything I try to tell him about what is going on in DC is mularkey. My parents can't understand why I spend so much time on something that has nothing to do with my life. I have no one in my inner circle with whom I can discuss my concerns. So I come here.

Everyone in my family is on my case. It is causing problems in my marriage. I have to admit, since I found DU a few years ago, I have less interest in other things.

What I have watched happen in our country is really scarey to me. I look around me and no one else is alarmed. Everything I thought was fact, before I came here, turns out to be a bunch of lies. For some reason I can't seem to communicate this effectively to anyone close to me.

So is there something wrong with me? Or do I need to limit the time I spend here?

[FranzFerdinand]

1. no need to limit yourself but...

don't take it home with you. one of my great obsessions is politics, but my wife could care less. rather, she trusts my word and allows me to be the spokesperson for politics in our home. she believes in the democratic party and she understands the corruption, but it is simply not healthy to make it a focal part of your home/family life.

don't limit your activity, but do limit what you bring upon others. remember, your activity does not constitute the need for it to be someone elses activity.

[murray hill farm]

9. Good advise, Franz

It is often too frightening to hear very often..and folks will simply do whatever to make you stop...they just do not want to hear. for you, you are so involved that u need to keep up with and keep track..doing so is helpful to you and gives you a sense of doing something...of watching and tracking the actions of those in power..for others it is just frightening. Do not limit your involvement...what you are doing is important and useful...and there may come a time when all around you will come to a point where they will turn to you for information, but for now it is just too frightening for them to do so.

[jedicord]

14. and there may come a time when all around you...

will come to a point where they will turn to you for information"

Interesting that you said that. Made me realize that people ARE beginning to come to me for information. Just the other day, a Repub friend asked me why it mattered how the next SC judge felt about abortion. His thought was that the majority of Americans were pro-choice, so the SCOTUS would never be able to overturn Roe vs. Wade. I had to explain to him that we don't vote opinions by the court. And they are not beholden to voters, they are in there for life. Whatever decisions they make do not affect their job security.

Stuff like that helps to open people's eyes. And the more people who come to me with questions, the same people who used to roll their eyes at me, the more people will start seeing the reality, not the propaganda.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

2. You sound like the only sane one in your family

My husband was apolitical when I met and married him, but as I talked with him he soon understood why it was important to vote and be politically active.

It is important to keep yourself informed. If, however, you find that the stories here on any given day make you too mad, too sad, or whatever, take a break. I've had to do that from time to time.

[KarenS]

3. I think it has alot to do with our lives, our grandchildren's lives,

AND the quality of our lives,,,, Our Country is at risk right now,,,,, The world is at risk.

I have a huge problem with those that 'don't do politics',,,, or 'all politicians are crooked',,,, or 'I'm too busy',,,,

:shrug:

Do I think you need to limit your time here?? Nope.

[Lasher]

Your marriage is more important than DU

I can relate to what you say. I spend a lot of time here too. It's not just the web site, I'm worried about our nation. I believe if I stay informed I might be somehow able to make some sort of positive difference.

But we must find balance.

[seabeyond]

4. a couple years ago, my husband had issue,

it was after one of my tirades, before he started becoming informed. and in exhaustion and pain i told my husband, this is not a little thing. this is my kids future. this is MY job

it was late at night, we were tired. i was sooooo tired

i think that was the moment he got it.

i told him from my view, it is people not involved that is causing so much of the problem, making my job so very damn hard

[Inland]

5. I'd start by not using word "obsessed".

Try using words like "fan" or "maven". Works for sports nuts.

[Mme. Defarge]

23. Nice advice!

I'll try it myself.

[timber84]

6. In the same boat...

Not causing marriage problems but my husband is getting tired of my
animosity all the time. he agrees with us at DU 100% but he is not very motivated. i hope it makes you feel better that there are others here with the same issues.

:hug:

[seabeyond]

8. we are tired. we are tired that everything is connected to this

it is in every part of our life. in raising kids in a fundamental environment, running a business, our own personal life and all the friends and family. (they are all republicans)

my family thought nov 2 2004 was going to be it. my husband turned all news off in this house after the elections. we all knew after the elections we werent done. i wasnt done. we were ummed. we really wanted this done so i could get back to life

[jedicord]

7. "Why get upset about something you can't change?"

That was a comment made to me. Well, I can't accept that I can't change what's going on in our country. And if I don't try to relay the message to others, I will never be able to enable this change. I do try to tone it down as much as possible, because most people are unable or unwilling to accept what is truly going on with this administration. A little bit at a time, and I've found the truth begins to seep in to people's brains.

Especially when their every day life begins to suffer the consequences of our government's policies (high gas prices, high energy bills, high property taxes, etc.).

BTW, my husband gets pretty upset when I start ranting after hearing something on the news. I just can't help myself - I'm so ANGRY! :mad:

[seabeyond]

11. I can't accept that I can't change

right on. i will talk to brother as he tells me his woes, a single father raising to boys, making not a lot of money and no help. then he will sya, no one listens. we cant do anything. bullshit i say. dont vote bush. that would have been a huge help.

[SmokingJacket]

10. You'll get over it.

I was obsessed for a long time -- but I soon began to see how each argument would play out in the various forums, saw the same old things get hashed over and over, and I got tired of it.

I still think DU is fantastic, and I come here and check up the news -- DU misses nothing! -- and I dip in and out of GD. But my obsession has burned itself out.

Spending too much time here is bad for your body -- especially your wrists if you use a mouse, and your circulation -- and for your soul. Reading about things and not actively doing things about them can make you feel powerless and depressed.

Consider limiting your DU time to an hour or so, and maybe writing your own blog or something more active. I traded an hour of DU for an hour of exercise each day. I'm still informed, but I feel better.

[Dora]

12. I can relate.

My husband and I are both uberliberal with constitutionalist leanings, but more and more we've had to negotiate how we learn and respond to current events.

A year or so ago, my husband quit reading Truthout and other alt news sources because he just didn't have the brainspace for any more outrage as his job was getting more challenging. But at the same time, I discovered DU and started reading more and more.

After a couple of recent and intense discussions about how much I read and how it effects me, I've finally stopped talking about everything I learn here. Oh, I'll bring up a story now and then, but more often than not I just read it and keep quiet. And then when my husband finds out on his own and tells me (with shock and amazement) what he's learned, I just say, "I knew that."

[hang a left]

15. Oh, I used to talk about it alot, thinking I could get them involved.

I pretty much stay silent about most things now. However the last few weeks I kept telling everyone, "the indictments are coming, the indictments are coming". Like Paula Revere or something. So I have really quit trying to initiate discussion.

But my husband is pissed! He wants me OFF of DU. I have to admit it does get me depressed. Maybe I really need to practice some self restraint and limit myself to an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening. But really can you catch up on the day with just that much time?

[Dora]

18. You can, but you also can't.

You can catch up on the news of crimes and misdemeanors, but it's impossible to ever catch up with all the outrage and brilliant shining expressions of we find here. DU is a perpetual posting machine. There will always, always be something new and stimulating to read.

I try tempering my GD and LBN time with other forums. I visit the Cooking and Baking forum and the Astrology/Alt Healing forums. I also troll the Homeschool, Writing, and Poetry forums for interesting posts. I visit the Lounge sometimes, but I used to visit there a lot more.

If you limit your time here, please do it because you want to, not because of pressure from your husband. If you think it will make an improvement in your life, then take a step back. We'll all be here when you come back to see what's happening.

[madmom]

13. I had to swear to my husband, that I did not write this post....

honestly!!!!! One of the reasons he divorced his 1st wife was because she was a repuke and couldn't believe some one from a working class family actually voted repuklican, how ignorant are these people!!!! Stay the course we need people like you.

[whatever4]

16. My family doesn't disagree, but they think I do too much

I don't agree with them though. I don't think I'm obsessing any more than is warranted.

So, I might be better off spending my time watching tv? We'd be better not reading, writing, honing our writing and debating skills, learning political lessons during a VERY turbulent time? Heck, tell them you're their "real world" representative. Were it not for you, they'd have no idea at all what was going on on the "other" side...since the other side isn't even on the damned news.

Better off watching tv? Better off not worrying? But...what if you're right? Does your opinion count for nothing?? Maybe later, they'll be the ones worried out of their minds, when they realize you were RIGHT, and things are BAD.

Preemptive worry. A constructive hobby. Something you'd rather not be criticized for. A stress reliever, a very cheap, very effective, 24 hour safe, legal stress relief that DOESN'T involve the opposite sex. Repeat, an internet activity that DOESN'T involve sexual activity. Perhaps your husband and family should take another view. Perhaps they should count themselves lucky. Of all the vices you might pick, this one is constructive in practice, and in the end, it might be quite important to be abreast of current events.

Real and important current events not skewed by mass media and money interests

Just in case. Just in case there IS a possibility they're wrong about Bush. On the offhand chance, you know.

More respect for your opinions overall. If MORE people had been as focused as YOU, perhaps we wouldn't BE in this damned Iraq war.

Hope any of that helped. Just plant them on DU for a while, if you need us to enlighten them?

They want to be upset about you on the internet, fine. If it ALL means nothing, if ALL this politic unrest is no big deal, nothing to worry about and too much fuss, then say fine, fine then pretend I'm reading a romance novel. Pretend I'm reading smut. Imagine I'm going to half a dozen sex chat rooms, I have alter egos, I have virtual lovers, I have deviant and perverted internet SEXXX!!! and then...imagine all those things along with all the OTHER imaginary things you think and...leave me alone.

editing to add, I should also say I'm not employed and an currently recovering from a much needed surgery on an ankle tendon, so, it's easy for me to talk about being on DU.

I should have also said, I hope it works out, because I know when my husband was tired of me on the internet once, it was all worry for me, not politics or anything else.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

17. Where do you live? I am now in Texas where I am in the same

boat - no one here even reads the news at all, much less knows the real facts behind issues.

My husband is from Texas. He has always been a conservative but liberal on social issues. He did, however, vote for Kerry because he concluded that Bush lied about the war. During the aftermath of the election, he thought we were all "internet (like that was a bad word) conspiracy theorists" and he stopped listening to me on it (the fraudulent election).

But then, little by little, I think I have won him over. What I did, which might be an idea for you, is that I would print out one of the more interesting, factual articles posted here and asked him to read it. As the evidence built and he had read more and more about how the Bush and Cheney act, he has the knowledge to form a decent opinion.

People that only get their news from MSM, have only one iota of knowledge.

Oh, another trick, is to print out threads and articles and read them later. This gets you away from sitting at the computer all the time. But it is very difficult to break away from DU, for me when something really big happens.

my 2 cents.

[SheilaT]

19. You don't want to endanger your marriage.

That should go without saying. But you shouldn't have to give up DU entirely.

Can you get him to listen to Amy Goodman? Or watch Countdown with Keith Olbermann? Those two programs alone should make him start to understand how much is out there that's not being presented in the mainstream media.

One down side to getting information from the web is that (at least for me) it's easy to forget that most people have no clue the extent of lying that went on before the invasion of Iraq. Or the abuses in Guantanamo or Abu Ghraib. Or any of the rest of the terrible things that have happened since Bush started occupying 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

[Arugula Latte]

20. I get sick of the: "Oh, don't go off the deep-end" condescension

That is from people who are liberal and hate Bush, but they have this sort of "there, there" attitude about things, like, "You're getting yourself all worked up." Sometimes I want to scream: "When the fuck IS it time to get worked up, then?" Treason, corruption, stolen elections, the end of democracy, class warfare -- these are not reasons to get worked up? WTF?

[flyarm]

21. please see your pm.............i left you a message...n/t

[applegrove]

22. Call it "renewal time" for yourself. And make a deal. Cause you are

really, really, really needed to be "available" come election time. So talk to husband and tell him you will work out the timing. That you'll invest in the marriage as you should - if you get a some hours a week (I take it you don't have kids) and stick to that limit. But come election time both you and he will be working for the Dems.

And not everything here is true. DU speculate allot. So don't share if they are not into every single nuance.

You should not neglect your life. That is the stuff that you can count on and it will make you strong and "hold" you through all the political disappointments to come.