100% (non)Scientific Poll Reveals Who Still Supports *

[Roland99]

I've been working tirelessly these last few days in my painstaking research.

I've farmed out calculations to teams of statisticians, forensic scientists, and a couple of third-graders down the street.

But, finally, the results are in! We can now sleep soundly knowing who the last remaining true supporters of the Propagandist really are!!


*drumroll please*


Senior Citizens
SUV/Large Pickup Drivers


Now surely you are asking yourself how I came about this astoundingly shocking news. If not, well, shouldn't you be? And you call yourself a dissenter.....pfffft!

I will now reveal only to the DU audience the detailed methods of my research:



Bumper stickers





Yes, folks! It's *that* simple. The wonderfully amazing bumper sticker has revealed that last 34% of Americans that would support this president even if he were to carve up and eat a live baby, nay, a live fetus on the White House lawn.

I have compiled reams and reams of notes (ok, about a page and a half) of my observations of the */Cheney sticker bearers.

I have found that the */Cheney (and other forms including the 'W' sticker, 'One Man, One Woman = Marriage' sticket and other variants) 96.578093% (+/- 10.0345%) are found on vehicles driven by those well over the age of 60 (and we're talking dog years here, folks) and also driven by the typical thick-neck/redneck/roughneck/know-it-all-asshole in their SUVs or large, full-size pickups (99.950345% Ford, Chevy, or Dodge).


Now, you may be asking yourself what does this all mean? What is the significance of these findings?

I think I've been able to whittle it down to just a few adjectives.

Some of you will say, "Ah, Roland99, you're forgetting 'X' and/or 'Y'." To those I will say, "Yeah, you're probably right and there's probably 'Z', too, but that's where I can toss up the margin of error and excuse myself by saying I couldn't see thru the tinted windows of that F-350 Dualie with enough running lights to light up Omaha.)

Even others will say, "Oh, Roland99! You're amazing! I want to have your babies!" To those I will say, "A/S/L?"


Now, the adjectives:

Complacent
Obstinate
Ignorant

The senior citizens are typically the complacent ones. They don't want change. They've been Republican and Christian from birth and have become so set in their ways that if the mailman comes at 3:30 instead of 2:00, they panic and call 911 and end up at the ER with their grandchildren.

The other two fall squarely onto the shoulders of pickemup driving thicknecks. You know the type. The type stand in an office hallway talking to another co-worker and see you coming and won't back up a step or two to let you pass. The type that would kick their dog and smack their woman if they were in front of the beer frig. The type that likes to raise a little hell. The type that typically utter these as their final, breathing words: "Hey, y'all! Watch this!"


So, there you have it. That's the diehard * voter. One would think we'd have it made in any election for the foreseeable future. But, alas, ignorant as these folks may be, they exist in large numbers and are fiercely protective of their opinions given to them by Limbaugh and O'Rielly.

Praise Jesus and Pass the ammo!



Now, I must bid a fond farewell as I'm leaving this country for the friendly confines of mainland China (well, I'll be back in a few weeks ;) )

[Conker]

1. Statistically, which generation was it that voted the most for Bush?

[Warpy]

3. I dimly recall reading that the Stupid demographics

were roughly those over 70 (who resented the hell out of Clinton taxing their social security benefits and didn't notice that Stupid kept that tax) and the cohort between 34-49, the generation that came after the first wave of boomers and who escaped the brunt of Vietnam and only experienced the 60s as something their parents sneered at. You know, the yuppies and the Rapture believers.

The first cohort of boomers and people under 34 tended to be far more liberal than the other two groups, meaning lukewarm to any candidate mouthing business as usual.

[Conker]

4. So the upcoming generations are more liberal?

[rockymountaindem]

7. As a 19 year old

I assure you, yes we are!

[stepnw1f]

14. Yup

I'm smiling from ear-to-ear. Aren't you?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

26. As a teen, I'd say

yes, by and large, we are. :D :D

[Roland99]

31. Good to hear! And don't be afraid to speak your mind and be active!

[skipos]

13. From CNN exit poll

Vote by age:
18-29 (17% of total) Bush 45%, Kerry 54%
30-44 (29% of total) Bush 53%, Kerry 46%
45-59 (30% of total) Bush 51%, Kerry 48%
60 + (24% of total) Bush 54%, Kerry 46%

It is no surprise that the more young people that get out and vote, the better off we will be.

http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2004/pages/results/states/US/P/00/epolls.0.html

[JusticeForAll]

37. Wow...this CNN exit poll is a joke.

It is so unlike the other exit polls that were conducted and heavily reported on earlier on that day...

the demographic info seems to reflect the general trend (younger more liberal) but the actual numbers appear far from accurate.

[tavalon]

40. What is appalling to me is that in each demographic

the mojority are non-voters. I just don't get that, especially with women and blacks who had to fight for their voting rights.

[skipos]

42. Check out this info...

http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0781453.html

Year/ Turnout of voting age population

2004 55.3
2002 37.0
2000 51.3
1998 36.4
1996 49.1
1994 38.8
1992 55.1
1990 36.5
1988 50.1
1986 36.4
1984 53.1
1982 39.8
1980 52.6
1978 37.2
1976 53.6
1974 38.2
1972 55.2
1970 46.6
1968 60.8
1966 48.4
1964 61.9
1962 47.3
1960 63.1

[Bellamia]

2. Not all Senior Citizens

support Bush, or have Fundie bumper stickers., or are complacent, or call 911 if the mail is late. THIS Senior, me, resents being lumped in with those that do. MY bumper sticker is DECMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND and I voted for Kerry. Lotta good that did.

[Roland99]

10. Oh, come on. I didn't say all Senior Citizens. Far from it!

It's just an observational thing.

the drivers with */Cheney stickers are either pickups/SUVs or elderly (and that doesn't meant there are no elderly drivers with Kerry/Edwards stickers).

I saw plenty of senior citizens at the Seymour Hersh speech here back in March.

[skids]

5. Recommended.

:rofl:

[Roland99]

12. Thank you! *Someone* gets it!

:)

[newswolf56]

6. Roland99's bigotry and hate-mongering is unfortunately typical...

of the attitudes toward the elderly most often found among the American bourgeoisie, who given the opportunity would have all elders forcibly exterminated, lest we consume wealth the younger bourgeois might otherwise have available for its already-epic spree of viciously self-centered spending.

Roland99's hatred of the working class is equally insulting. My closest friend -- elderly like myself, a retired union business agent and a tireless worker on behalf of leftist causes all his life -- drives a pickup truck: a vehicle he bought 15 years ago when he lived in the country, long before he retired. But Roland99, in his elitist malevolence toward those of us who have to work for a living, apparently cannot imagine any situation in which a pickup truck might be essential -- never mind the question of what Roland99 might himself have done to contribute to the crying need for such vehicles: the fact the United States has the worst public transport in the industrial world.

It is especially interesting in this context that Roland99 says he is going to China, since the most common reason an American goes to China is to sign a deal that leads to more outsourcing of American jobs and more profits for the signatory. If this is true of Roland99, it proves he is so much a part of the problem, he could not possibly ever be part of the solution -- all the more so in that his venomous hostility toward the elderly (of whom I am one) suggests he is probably in full sympathy with the advocates of compulsory euthanasia.

Which further suggests Roland99 is (and has been) flying under false colors: if he talks like a fascist (and in this instance he surely does) he most likely is a fascist: compulsory euthanasia was one of Hitler's core intentions. But I -- as an old man who is also an old leftist (and regards the combination of Abrahamic religion and its expression via capitalism the source of all the world's troubles) -- would not silence Roland99. I would instead leave his words here for everyone to see, so that anytime in the future he speaks up -- if indeed he ever does again -- he can be jeered and denounced accordingly: his mere presence in the political equation an object lesson about why Bush is in the White House, why the JesuNazi Republicans now control Congress.

[TahitiNut]

8. This "senior citizen" (me) agrees.

:puke:

[Roland99]

11. My sarcasm detector is on the fritz or you misread my post completely

NOWHERE did I insult ANYONE.

[omega minimo]

18. Son, this sort of "humor" reinforces the impression

that younger generations have suffered the effects of a (intentionally) deteriorated education system, dumbed-down culture and are willfully ignorant.

Sort of how a lot of crap music sounds like nobody ever gets music lessons anymore.

See? :evilgrin:

(pssst-- pretending not to have insulted anyone? How'zat workin for ya?)

[Roland99]

29. "Son"? You aren't my father. My father's a senior citizen, himself.

He turned 63 this year.

I highly recommend you read my original post again and see where you have erred in your judgement.

[omega minimo]

16. And the worst part is

he thinks he's funny

:thumbsdown:

[Name removed]

24. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[omega minimo]

25. "rightousness" See! It's education's fault!

:hug:

[Name removed]

22. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[tavalon]

41. Um, in both of these cases he spoke of

He looked at the bumpersticker on the car and then looked at the inhabitant of the car and what kind of car it was. He's not broadbrushing elderly folks as Bush supporters nor is he broadbrushing rednecks as Bush supporters unless they have bumperstickers in which they portray themselves as Bush supporters.

To take this to the conclusion that Roland99 is a fascist because of this is, well, jumping the shark. Hell, it's jumping a whole tank of them.

[Mr_Spock]

9. I've noticed senior cars and pickups/SUV's myself have the most...

I always think "I wonder what grade those people finished - 5th?"

[Clark2008]

15. Just a statistical outlier here, but my fiance drives a

big truck, was in the Army and hates the Shrub.

:hi:

Funny stats, though. :7

[Mz Pip]

17. Die hard middle aged Repubs

Who vote party line for no apparent reason except their fathers did and they are carrying on the tradition.

THey exist. Sad but true.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[Batgirl]

19. funny piece, thanks for the laugh

Although it points out the need for some to take their hate-monger detectors back to Radio Shack and have them recalibrated.

[omega minimo]

20. It IS hate-mongering

and it's stupid :hi:

[Batgirl]

21. I don't see it that way

I found the tone of the piece to be largely one of frivolity, not to mention self-deprecating in referring to the non-scientific nature of the OP's observations. But there's no use in "defending" or explaining humor, you either think it's funny or you don't. No reason to get all worked up and make a big deal out of it with the heavy-handed condemnation, scolding and tsk-tsking. Geez whiz.

[Roland99]

30. .

:D

[tavalon]

43. Yeah, Roland99

You got unfairly treated here. You made a good, satirical piece and the humor challenged have attacked you as a fascist. They are really wound up tight in GD today. It's days like this that I wish I could send a little valium to these fine folks who can usually reason and think but who unexplicably go weird over the most surprising of things.

[Darkhawk32]

23. That pretty much describes what I see here in Missouri. n/t

[helderheid]

27. I saw a very elderly lady w/a Kerry sticker - in Utah

[Roland99]

28. And I've seen elderly people with K/E stickers here.

NOWHERE did I say ALL senior citizens support *.

[helderheid]

32. I know - I didn't mean to imply you did - I just thought that seeing hers

was especially heartwarming in the heart of Utah.

[Roland99]

33. Suppose it is. But, Louisville is home to some MEGAchurches.

We were ground zero for that disgusting "Justice Sunday" event.

:puke:


Seeing K/E stickers around here is like sighting gold. And the one I saw the other day on a Jaguar driven by an older couple made my heart swell. :)

[Senator]

34. The one true thing I've found since 9/11

That while everyone with a flag sticker on their car may not drive like an idiot...

...everyone who drives like an idiot seems to have a big ol' flag sticker on their car.

--

[NJCher]

35. have a great time in China, Roland

Cher

[Roland99]

48. Will do. Good to see American companies doing work in China

That's why I'm going. The company I work for now has the best solution and I'll be working on setting it up at an airport in Shanghai.

I'll get to do some shopping and looks like it'll be a bit of an exotic Christmas for my kiddos. ;)

And, who knows, maybe I can find some stuff making fun of our own pResident ;)

[eridani]

36. Seems to me like older people are the ones most likely to have an inkling-

--of what life was like before the New Deal. And it is older women who are the mainstay of the movement to preserve reproductive rights, given that they have living memories of what illegal abortion was like, not to mention the appalling treatment of women having miscarriages.

[AuntiBush]

38. 9 our of 10 Elderly I know of Voted for Kerry.

Only a small fraction of angry, bigot-types voted for *. That goes for those bully-types, as well.

F/44-49 - Voted for Kerry & Democrat cross the board & will continue to do so.

[Chi]

39. Nicely done Roland

If anyone takes offense, it's because they want to (or they're * voters).
You made it obvious, it was written tongue and check.

But I will be tallying those vehicle with * stickers now.
:evilgrin:

[Inspired]

44. Add one more to your list

Suburbanites...the ones who are oblivious to anything outside of their cookie cutter neighborhoods. They are doing OK so they think Bush is doing a good job.

[proud2BlibKansan]

45. Well here in Red State Hell,

I was amazed by the support for dubya from 20 somethings. And the senior citizens seemed to support Kerry.

No I will admit I didn't do any extensive research as you apparently have. But I did work on the Kerry campaign. I canvassed for Kerry. Most of the time, the older the person, the more likely they were supporting Kerry. It got to where we spent less time going door to door in apartment buildings where younger people lived. There were usually LOTS of W bumper stickers in the parking lot.

But when we went to assisted living facilities or apartment complexes for senior citizens, we saw an overwhelming amount of Kerry bumper stickers. And 99% of the older folks we interviewed while canvassing were Kerry supporters.

So my unscientific research came to a completely different conclusion.

[smiley_glad_hands]

46. You have generalized way too much.

I know plenty of pickup driving hell raising rednecks who don't like bush and even more old people that don't either.

[esvhicl]

47. You forgot one more category of * supporters

People who think Adam and Eve rode around on dinosaurs..

[Aimah]

49. One thing I've noticed.

I used to debate in the AOL chats and you see a certain personality trait in the pro-Bushies. They seemed to spout off random untruths that flow like wind on the net. So in turn I would give them the actual proof as to why they should question Bush. After throwing the kitchen sink at them their only defense would be "well I just don't believe that our government would do that.". As if no matter what I gave them it wouldn't convince them. Their minds could not wrap around the possibility that Bush&Co could create so many lies.