Does Christmas have a Navy?

[RandomKoolzip]

It'd be cool if our War on Christmas was a sea-based war, wouldn't it? We'd be, like, all in Navy Seal uniforms and shooting big torpedos with pictures of Satan on them at Santa's big-ass aircraft carrier 'n' shit....

Do you think Santa Claus views the lives of Elves as "collateral damage?"

[demnan]

1. We'd have to have an army too

In fact let's let this weekend's winner of the Army/Navy game determine whether we change the name to Armsmas or Navsmas.

[RandomKoolzip]

4. What about Merchant Marinesmas?

[MissMarple]

2. Air Force. NORAD tracks them every Christmas.

:popcorn:

[RandomKoolzip]

3. Sweet! Does Santa's sleigh carry bunker-busters?

This War on Christmas is gonna RULE!!!

[MissMarple]

16. Santa's sleigh carries many weapons.

It probably carries bunker busters.

[leftstreet]

5. Improvised Christmas Explosive Devices

:silly:

[RandomKoolzip]

8. ICED's?

Fuck the North Pole, man! We'll take 'em out with our shoulder-mounted Agnosti-missles!

[marbuc]

6. No Navy

But God Warriors walk on water and/or part the seas.

[oneighty]

7. Just recently I

received my box of Christmas cards from the U.S.Navy Memorial Society. The main theme on the cards is 'The Lone Sailor' home from the sea.

The word 'Christmas' does not appear on the cards. Holiday Season does.

For what it might be worth.

180

[RandomKoolzip]

9. Send them to O'Reilly.

Only HE has the authority to save Christmas from the liberal peril!

[SpiralHawk]

10. The Krystmas Kommando Kult will kick your scrawny secular butt

for having the temerity to suggest that Sailor Santas could last more than 3 minutes against one of our Bad-Ass Boyos such as Rush "Anal-Cystmas" Limbaugh or Bill "Deck the halls with lots of loofas" O'Reilly.

We hereby challenge you -- Elvo a Elvo -- to an Ultimate Egg Nogg Toss Back Iron Cage Barf Blowoff.

Ha - I know you Liberal Weenie Commie Xmas Wannabe Warriors don't have the Holiday Spirit or Jingle Balls to answer this Challenge.

--
With Ominous Yultidings, the Krystmas Kommando Kult

[RandomKoolzip]

14. Elvo a Elvo?! Bring it on, Kringle!

Yer goin' down, you Jolly Old Fascist! You're gonna quiver like a bowl full of Jelly when you come face to face with our Sleigh-Seeking Anti-Xian Scuds!

Tell you what, Nick: you send your craziest, most unhinged Toy-making Midget, against The Ghost of Marilyn Murray O'Hair's future...we'll see who gets stuck in the chimney, then, Fat Boy!

[SpiralHawk]

20. Alright, just for that: It's gonna be Spiced EggNog

You asked for it, you HomoSapian Holiday Hombre, you.

[blm]

11. heheh....have you been reading your old SPIN magazines again?

.

How about a round of Let's Kill Gary Gilmore for Christmas.

[RandomKoolzip]

13. Oooooh...I finally saw that sketch a few months ago.

The audience is in a shocked hush for the duration of the song...my how times have changed.

[sniffa]

12. bwahahahaha

:rofl:

i heard that christmas has WMD reLated programs.

[RandomKoolzip]

15. I see a mushroom cloud in the shape of a Xmas Tree in our future.

WE MUST STOP SANTA!

[muriel_volestrangler]

17. I'm sure it has aircraft carriers like this

Lord Louis Mountbatten was Chief of Combined Operations and part of the work of this department was to develop technology and equipment for offensive operations. He encouraged scientists to produce their ideas, however fantastical they might seem. Many ideas did not get past the drawing stage, but others were taken up and experimented with before being abandoned. One such idea was that of an iceberg aircraft carrier, and this project was enthusiastically endorsed by both Mountbatten and Churchill.



It was the idea of a scientist called Geoffrey Pyke. His idea was that because ice was unsinkable, the berg ships would be insulated and impervious to bomb and torpedo attacks. They would be easy to repair as water only had to be poured into holes and frozen, thus making the ship whole. The ships would be cheap to make so that a vast number could be made. The ships could be up to 4000 feet long, 600 feet wide and 130 feet in depth. They could be used to carry aircraft to protect shipping in the mid-Atlantic, since the aircraft would be able to operate at shorter ranges and could be used for an invasion force base. He christened the idea after the words from Habakkuk, the Old Testament prophet: “Behold ye among the heathen, and regard and wonder marvellously: for I will work a work in your days, which ye will not believe, though it be told to you.” Hab. 1:5

The idea was taken up by Mountbatten and in December 1942, Churchill was convinced that the idea was worth pursuing. One problem had to be overcome. Ice split too easily and Pyke suggested the addition of some kind of building material could solve the problem. In 1943, two American scientists made a compound out of paper pulp and sea water which was almost as strong as concrete. This substance was named “Pykecrete”, after Pyke. Plans were drawn up for a vessel with the dimensions of 2000 feet long with a displacement of 1,800,000 dead weight tons. For the best possible results, the ship would need to be built in Canada or Russia, where the ship could be naturally frozen. The budget for continuing with the experimental ship was limited to £5000.

In the summer, a model was built on Patricia Lake, Jaspar in Canada. It became essential that the Americans were brought into the project as they would be needed to supply large quantities of steel for the vessel. Costs were already spiralling due to technical and supply problems. Mountbatten took a block of Pykecrete to Quebec to demonstrate the idea to the Americans. He intended to show them the strength of Pykecrete as opposed to ice. He fired a revolver into a block of ice which, predictably, shattered. He then fired into a block of Pykecrete. The bullet did not penetrate the block, rather it ricocheted off the ice, and unfortunately struck the American Chief of Naval Operations in the process, but without injury.

http://www.royalnavalmuseum.org/info_sheets_Habbakkuk.htm

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

18. I say take the fight to where it lives

Send the Grinch commando-style to O'Reilly's house to steal all his sex toys and fetish-wear. Then he will really have a sad Christmas.

[blm]

19. The falafel was hung by the chimney with care, In hopes naked interns

soon would be there.

[Pithy Cherub]

21. Santa's intel was bad. The White Phosphorus thing

was meant for Canada and he is not clear how Alaska got involved. But an investigation shows a covert Elf operating off of Hollywood Blvd. had her cover blown by the Abominable Bushman.
:rofl:

[blm]

23. heheh.....that's good.

.

[Generic Other]

22. General Grinch, Sgt. Scrooge, Private Holiday...

F*ck peace on earth!