Santa flies commercial. Probed by TSA (Humor Column)

[No DUplicitous DUpe]

http://www.irrelativity.com/

Barry Smith is a Columnist at the Aspen Daily News. I thought you would all enjoy
his column in todays paper.

SNIP:
(twas the night..)

And as the man passed
(Though he barely could fit)
The siren went off,
And he started a bit.

"Please step over here
Before you depart.
Arms stuck out straight,
Feet spread apart."

"Look, I'm Santa Clause, dammit,
Can't you let me go through?"
I said, "That's profiling,
And THAT we don't do."

Then I ran my detector wand
Over his gut,
Under each foot
And around his big butt.

While my co-workers pawed
Through his red velvet sack,
My wand it went "beep"
In the small of his back.

I said, "Grab your ankles,"
As I gave him a shove.
And his pants hit the floor
As I snapped on my glove.

MORE:

"You're clean," I announced,
But he didn't respond.
Then I peeled off my glove
And examined my wand.

"Damn thing must be broken!
Ah well, no harm done.
If I don't probe your colon
Then Osama has won."

But the fat man just stood there,
His jaw had gone slack.
I shrugged and I said,
"Thank The Patriot Act."
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Pass around Barry's web site...good stuff!

http://www.irrelativity.com/

[Bryan Buchan]

1. I love Barry

I have been subscribed to his email list for years now....his "T'was the night before chirstmas poem last year was a hoot as well!

[No DUplicitous DUpe]

2. Barry Smith is a funny guy...

I've known him for years.