What in hell does one give George Bush for Xmas?

[graywarrior]

A gift certificate to AA?
A therapy session?
A speech therapist?
A lump of coal?

There has to be something appropriate.

[clydefrand]

1. WMD? I heard he was looking for some.

[biscotti]

2. Training wheels

[eleny]

3. The bums rush

[Deb]

4. Handcuffs n/t

[spindrifter]

5. A thousand pet goats

for the ranch--no, better would be to get the goats through Heifer, the organization that you can get farm animals to give to people in less developed countries so they have a subsistence start.

[Broken_Hero]

6. hmm, to start off...

Some speech/language lessons, maybe some english courses, so he can communicate...

[Warpy]

7. A nice vacation to the Hague

since I have no idea how to give that man a clue.

[ThomWV]

8. Sewergas Came Immediatly to Mind

I have no idea why.

[graywarrior]

9. Perhaps he'd enjoy ...

[LaurenG]

10. A pink slip signed by everyone at DU nt

[meow2u3]

11. A greased slide

for his trip to #311

[Lenore]

12. The New Testament...

The REAL one about that man who Bush claims to know intimately, Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace not war.

He needs a copy minus that warmongering Old Testament, that "eye for an eye" Old Law book that a lot of Christians have obviously never read beyond. Imagine the surprise if the modern day (american) Christian (ie Bush) were to learn that it is the peacemakers who will be blessed and called the Children of God.

Hard to make it through to the important gems like that when there is so much sword slinging and details of debauchery, in the first part of the book. Easy for a simpleton to become distracted which is why I say Bush should be given the New Testament for Christmas.

[DemGirl7]

36. I think its beyond *'s reading level

maybe we should get him the pop up book version, maybe then he might understand.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

13. Articles of impeachment.

Tastefully gift-wrapped.

[951-Riverside]

14. Handcuffs, a police car and an free all expense paid trip to the hague

[YOY]

15. Force him to live like use "peasants" until reality sinks in

What a great present for a president.

[amitten]

16. A hurricane in Crawford. One that only affects his property.

The second gift would be that his insurance refuses to pay. The third gift would be a heartless public to say, "Well, you should have known better. We're not your mommy and daddy. Don't expect the government to help. You need to learn to look after yourself."

[alfredo]

17. crab lice.

[Mabus]

18. A bag of pretzels, another segue scooter and a bicycle

Basically, things that have turned out to be WMDs for him in the past.

[TahitiNut]

19. A huge bag of pretzels, of course.

[northofdenali]

20. This.............

[jmowreader]

21. I have a list...

Three sheets of plywood
A pound of deck screws
One Schlage entry lockset
A .45-caliber pistol
Two leather recliners
A whole case of Bacardi 151
A case of Coca-Cola and two glasses
And Dick Cheney by his side

Here's how it works: First, use the plywood to seal up all the windows and all but one of the doors in the conference room in his Crawford house.

Next, install the entry lockset so the side you put the key in is facing into the conference room.

Third, put everything else in the room, including Shrub and Cheney.

And tell them they can't come out until they've drained the whole case.

They'll either both drink themselves to death, or one of them will get pissed off and shoot the other and we can charge the man standing with assassinating the President of the United States (crime applies no matter who shoots who).

Either way it works.

[graywarrior]

24. Now that is creative.

[RoyGBiv]

22. Kick in the ass

[iconoclastNYC]

23. Articles of Impeachment n/t

[u4ic]

25. A date with this man

who should be able to give him

a brain
a heart
courage

[deadmessengers]

26. a U-Haul gift certificate

He's going to need a truck to bring all his shit back to Crawford.

[donheld]

27. Here you go.

[atommom]

28. Boot to the head. Followed by

... oh, hell, another boot to the head. :D

[flordehinojos]

29. some chains and a jail cell for him to sit on and in.

[HysteryDiagnosis]

30. Title to Mars... he's already claimed title to earth. nt.

[MnFats]

31. A condo.....on Devil's Island. I can feature Bush living like ..

...Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman in "Papillon." remember that one? eking out an existence, growing a few vegetables in a rocky garden.....

[drduffy]

32. asian flu

[Ksec]

33. a course in ethics and morality

[Cleita]

34. An eviction notice from the White House?

eom

[yorkiemommie1]

35. a conscience?

n/t

[Porcupine]

37. Coal Tar, A bag of feathers and a railroad tie.

Fitted to him specifically of course.