CIA Chief Admits To Torture After Six-Hour Beating (The Onion)

[rpannier]

LANGLEY, VA—An internal CIA investigation into the possible use of illegal and inhumane interrogation techniques produced a confession from CIA director Porter Goss Monday, with the aid of waterboarding, food and light deprivation, and the application of wire hangers hooked to a car battery to the testicles. "I did it. We did it. We all did it. The president knew. The president did it. Please, God, please stop," said a voice identified as Goss' on recordings produced by CIA auditors. "Stop, please stop. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. The president won't do it again. Please let me die." Critics of the methods used to obtain the information continue to claim that torture is an ineffective means of obtaining intelligence, pointing out that Goss did not sound sorry.

This article and many more can be found at found at:
http://www.theonion.com/content/index
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43704

[Neil Lisst]

1. That's Late Breaking News!!

Yes, I am kidding.

Funny stuff. That's one rendition I'd like to see happen. Of course, with most Bushies, the threat of being without bottled water would be enough to make them crack.

[DavidDvorkin]

2. Oh, God, those guys are good!

They keep surprising me.

[proud2BlibKansan]

3. I love The Onion!

[shenmue]

4. From their site to G*d's ears

Eyes. You know what I meant.

;)

:7

:thumbsup:

[IChing]

5. I love the onion plus that irony I also like The spoof which you can write

I wrote a couple of articles for the spoof, which anyonecan submit.
the spoof is really open source vs. the onion.
and I like both.

Some of this weeks headlines from the spoof.

1 Bush Announces ‘Vietnamese’ War Victory Strategy

2 Bush To Cut And Run, Actually


'3. Don't Give In To Despair In My War for Iraqi Oil,' Bush urges US Citizens


4. US Border Fence Plan ‘Tacky’; Christo to Rescue

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i9929 link