Leaked Memo from Kerry's Former Campaign Manager

[slinkerwink]

link:http://abcnews.go.com/sections/politics/TheNote/TheNote.html

TO: MBC
FROM: JJ
RE: Big Bad John

Congratulations — you are inheriting a great national staff, a great Iowa staff, a great New Hampshire staff, and Judy Reardon's agita.

There ARE, however, some things to watch out for to make sure the machine continues to hum.

1. At the slightest provocation, particularly during live television interviews, The Candidate will throw the staff under the bus. For instance, I was once sacrificed on "Meet the Press" for some on-the-record criticism of HoHo that in retrospect reads in tone and substance like a Connie Morella press release compared to what The Candidate is now saying about Dean.

2. Make some sort of deal with a Boston-area milk company to get Michael Whouley's picture on cartons. We have to find the guy.

3. The Candidate is in Iowa today; may I suggest no custard stops?

4. The corrollary of "Let The Spouse Be the Spouse" is "Let Chris Black Be Chris Black." You'll know what I mean shortly if you don't already.

5. I have no fu***** (REDACTED) idea what Cam is doing, but The Candidate seems to believe he is the second coming of Tad Devine.

6. Jeanne Shaheen seems smart, ruthless, and knowledgeable about how to win New Hampshire. But, then, I gather you two have been spending some time together lately, so you probably knew that.

7. If you can find a way to get the national political press corps to hold HoHo accountable for the things he says, more power to you. Most of them don't much like The Candidate, and don't cut him a break — ever. And I think there is a connection between those things.

8. You'll be tempted to ask the research shop to get you a memo on The Candidate's achievements in Congress. Save yourself some time and don't.

9. Often, we line up endorsements and come up with a plan about how to unveil them for maximum strategic effect. Remember: this works best if the endorsers don't just blurt out their support whenever they feel like it. Also, if you set up endorsement press conference calls, remind the endorsers not to trash the significance of their own endorsements.

10. Getting into Canada requires proper ID. (Actually, that one belongs on a different list — ignore it … .)

11. Bob Shrum was right — "The Courage to do What's Right" is a really effective campaign slogan.

12. Going to war publicly against the Boston Globe might make you feel good, but it won't effect what is the most relentlessly negative coverage of any presidential candidate EVER by a hometown paper — and I mean the news page. Don't even get me started on the op-ed page.

13. Your friend Jill Alper should run the world — see if you can make that happen.

14. You'll be wondering what the fourth-quarter fundraising number will be like. It's not something I want to commit to paper. Just have Gibbs practice in front of a mirror: "We'll have enough resources to get our message out."

15. I think we finally have an answer on the Iraq vote that works. As John Sasso always says, "8th time's the charm."

16. Best to get The Candidate to stop musing in public about decisions that he hasn't made yet. And, since we have budgeted to take those matching funds, make darn sure that The Candidate is fully ready to write a personal check before you let him make any announcement. In fact, I'd suggest having the check in hand — certified.

17. Finally, have fun. There are still a lot of people in the party like you who believe that The Candidate is the party's best and only hope of beating George Bush, and we have all seen moments and flashes in which John is That Man.

Your task, in the few short weeks you have, is to somehow make him perform at that level each and every day. There's no evidence it can be done, but you gotta try. You and New Hampshire can make The Candidate The Comeback Kid.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Jim Jordan really did leak this memo, then Kerry's better off jettisoning him. That man is so bitter that it's created a level of bitterness in the campaign. It might be too late for the Kerry campaign though....

[slinkerwink]

1. :kick:

:kick:

[Khephra]

2. You may be right about Jim Jordan

But if this is the real deal, then, reading between the lines, you can see there's a hell of a lot else wrong with the campaign.

[Eloriel]

17. Yeah: The Candidate n/t

[brainshrub]

3. Bad career move

if Jim Jordan wrote this, nobody who is running for office will want to hire him.

[Spazito]

4. Geez, that is one ugly e-mail!

I agree, if this guy leaked his own e-mail, he just showed what a nasty, small-minded person he is.

[slinkerwink]

6. I agree......

and I pity Kerry for having picked him in the first place....

[WilliamPitt]

5. Who's throwing who under the bus?

Wow.

[slinkerwink]

8. I know...

it's obvious that the memo by Jordan is trying to "throw" Kerry under the bus, much like Clark's former campaign manager did. Now, no one remembers the name of Clark's former campaign manager.....and they'll do the same with Kerry if his new campaign manager does a much better job. If she doesn't, then it'll be blamed on Jordan all the time, basically.

[Khephra]

9. Number 15 is interesting

If people within (or rather ex-people) are making fun of that aspect of his campaign, then you know that it's not just something that us anti-resolution people are saying.

It's good that they fired him, but I think this really points at more troubles than just JJ.

[0rganism]

24. So is #8

I thought Kerry's congressional record was one of the best things he had going, candidate-wise. If JJ didn't appreciate Kerry's achievements, why the hell did he take the job in the first place?

Which leads me to question the authenticity of the memo itself -- it looks more like an internet prank than a real staff communication.

[dajabr]

7. Satire folks!

Reality, as envisioned by The Note Staff, I believe...

"Using techniques taught us by the Republican staff of the Senate Intelligence Committee, The Note has obtained a draft of a memo that fired Kerry campaign manager Jim Jordan apparently intended to send to his successor, Mary Beth Cahill.

What is striking about the document (besides the Heineken smudges and the Post -midnight time stamp) is its sweeping tone.

But, then, it IS only a draft."

edit to add intro text...

[slinkerwink]

10. is it really satire? they didn't say it was satire

"Using techniques taught us by the Republican staff of the Senate Intelligence Committee, The Note has obtained a draft of a memo that fired Kerry campaign manager Jim Jordan apparently intended to send to his successor, Mary Beth Cahill.

What is striking about the document (besides the Heineken smudges and the Post -midnight time stamp) is its sweeping tone.

But, then, it IS only a draft. "

The Note.....

[deutsey]

14. I think the "Using techniques taught us by Republican staff"

is something of a giveaway that this isn't real...at least I hope so, anyway. :evilgrin:

[dajabr]

27. Not to say it isn't an accurate take...

On the "State of Kerry"

[Demobrat]

35. Unless of course they were referring to

burglary

[flpoljunkie]

15. Note assumed you could figure this out for yourself. They're pranksters!

They do this regularly.

[Cocoa]

23. It was obvious to me

Seriously, Dean is great, but don't let your negativity toward his opponents impair your ability to think.

You really should not have thought this was real.

[slinkerwink]

31. they never said it was satire or that they were kidding

this smacks of an attempt to get readers of "The Note" to believe the memo is real, such a political attempt to torpedo the Kerry campaign can be dangerous.

[Cocoa]

33. how about tongue-in-cheek?

you can support Dean, oppose Kerry, and still admit that they might be just having a little fun here?

[deutsey]

12. Satire is dead

or our ability to identify it is, anyway...

[jpgray]

13. Yes, I think this is just satire (nt)

.

[Khephra]

19. hmmmm

"Using techniques taught us by the Republican staff of the Senate Intelligence Committee, The Note has obtained a draft of a memo that fired Kerry campaign manager Jim Jordan apparently intended to send to his successor, Mary Beth Cahill.

What is striking about the document (besides the Heineken smudges and the Post -midnight time stamp) is its sweeping tone.

But, then, it IS only a draft."


Hmmmmmm...if it is a satire, they should be a bit clearer about that, as they're playing around with someone's career.

[deutsey]

22. The humor is very dry

The Republican reference, the Heinekin smudges, etc.

I think you're right, though...it probably should be a little more over the top or obvious in the intro.

[Spazito]

25. If this is "satire" it is still a very ugly piece, imo!

I would think if this is their very sad attempt at humour, it fails miserably and the fellow they are "jokingly" saying wrote this should sue the pants off them.

[rucky]

11. K Street Is as bad as Hollywood

morons who think they're visionaries.

Just roll up yer fuckin' sleeves and get to work. Be sincere.

All this strategizing is going nowhere.

[JohnKleeb]

16. I think I read just now that Kerry fired him

His replacement is Ted Kennedy's chief of staff or something.

[CMT]

18. it's not real

it is just some satire written by the staff of the NOTE--but if it is it is dynamite.

[madison]

20. I do not believe this is legit; I think it is a hoax.

I do not believe this is legit; I think it is a hoax.

If someone ever finds out, please let me know.

(P.S. I am not a Kerry supporter or detractor.)

[ibegurpard]

21. No way is this real

No matter how bitter someone might be, for a legitimate reason or not, they wouldn't sacrifice their career to throw a stinkbomb like this. I agree that it is probably satire but Jim Jordan or the Kerry campaign better raise holy hell about it before it gets taken as gospel.

[slinkerwink]

26. I agree, after all, I bought into it and posted it on here

and I bet other news sources are probably doing the same thing, so the Kerry campaign needs to nip this in the bud. If they don't, then they're giving the impression that this memo is true.

[0rganism]

29. I agree -- this has all the pockmarks of a netprank

and Kerry's new campaign manager could display her myriad abilities by declaring it as such, post haste. Else, it will simply become "common knowledge" that Kerry is a vicious wayward prick who hates his campaign staff.

[Karmadillo]

28. Breaking news! Jonathan Swift proposes the eating of children!

http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html

<edit>

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.

I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration that of the hundred and twenty thousand children already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one-fourth part to be males; which is more than we allow to sheep, black cattle or swine; and my reason is, that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand may, at a year old, be offered in the sale to the persons of quality and fortune through the kingdom; always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump and fat for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.

I have reckoned upon a medium that a child just born will weigh 12 pounds, and in a solar year, if tolerably nursed, increaseth to 28 pounds.

I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children.

more...

[slinkerwink]

30. I loved "A Modest Proposal"

Great piece of satire....

[ibegurpard]

32. The problem is with all the outrageousness we are faced with daily

it is getting kind of hard to tell reality from satire at times.

[Eric J in MN]

43. I agree. ABC News should label it's satire "satire." (nt)

nt

[Wickerman]

34. Reads like a NOTE piece

same writing style, name-dropping, rambling. I think the Note did a nice job of pinpointing what might be wrong with the Kerry org. In the context of the Note I think this would be seen as satire. Outside and passed around as legit, well, this is damaging and Kerry needs to kill it.

[robbedvoter]

36. The Note: demolishing W's opposition - one candidate at a time

Not a kerry supporter, but this hit me like a punch in the stomach.
When W says things like "No more bodies after March" isn't the Note directing its Swiftian satire at the wrong target? :puke:

[shance]

37. Unbelievable ABC would run this and NOT have it validated

Oh, of course this is a Democrat. I forgot.

And Im a Dean supporter, but this is gutter/double standard journalism by ABC.

They wouldnt dare to give accurate, honest coverage of the 2000 election, (some would call it Treason)

but they can attack a Democratic candidate any day of the week.

Amazing.

[mdmc]

38. Jordan is still on staff

yuck :dem:

[absyntheNsugar]

39. Memoriessssssssssssssssssss

Ahhhhh to work on a campaign...egos flare....rocks are thrown...and that's just IN The bus!

For those of you considering a career in politics...intern on a campaign. You'l soon learn how dirty and nasty the game can be. When I worked on campaigns, memos like these were common - although even if there was a grudge against the writer, these would always be shredded. Looks like they didnt get to it in time...

[John_H]

40. Any document which proposes putting Jill Alper in charge of anything is

clearly not intended to be taken seriously.

Whoever wrote this is one sharp and delightfully meanspirited mofo.

[Donna Zen]

41. Yep!

One candidate at a time.

[Eric J in MN]

42. you can tell it's a joke because

You can tell it's a joke because of the preface which indicates it wasn't actually sent and refers to beer.

They should have put written the word "satire" on top, but I guess they're too smug and smart-alecky.


"Using techniques taught us by the Republican staff of the Senate Intelligence Committee, The Note has obtained a draft of a memo that fired Kerry campaign manager Jim Jordan apparently intended to send to his successor, Mary Beth Cahill.

What is striking about the document (besides the Heineken smudges and the Post -midnight time stamp) is its sweeping tone.

But, then, it IS only a draft.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT"

[incapsulated]

44. It's a joke

S.A.T.I.R.E.

C'mon people. Does this really need to be explained?