Dave's Top 10 - Limbaugh Not Ready to Come Back to Work

[UTUSN]

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http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/top_ten/archive/ls_topten_archive2003/ls_topten_archive_20031113.shtml

Top Ten Signs Rush Limbaugh Might Not Be Ready To Come Back To Work


10. "Accidentally" falls down stairs 2, 3 times a day to get the pain pills

9. Named his two new puppies "Oxy" and "Contin"

8. Keeps going up to the roof to see if he can fly like that guy from "The Matrix"

7. Thoroughly enjoyed last night's "Becker"

6. He's currently following Phish around the Pacific northwest

5. Responds to all callers, "Here, kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty"

4. Could swear he saw sheep being herded down Broadway

3. Yesterday he did a three hour show into the drive-thru speaker at Jack in the Box

2. These days, only 80% blowhard

1. Released amateur sex video making love to himself



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[UrbScotty]

1. LOL! Here's one:

Good things about finding a condom in your clam chowder:

10. Only slightly more rubbery and unappealing than clams

9. It's better than finding a clam in your condom

8. Provides 35% of the recommended daily allowance of latex

7. You can use it to take home any clam chowder you don't finish

6. Ever eat Cracker Jacks? Well, think of it as a prize

5. It made the Band-Aid salad look like a gourmet meal

4. Does the phrase "damages for emotional pain and suffering" ring a bell?"

3. Mmm Mmm Ribbed!

2. For Bill Clinton, it's one-stop shopping

1. It's a lot better than not finding it

[Ilsa]

2. Please explain to ignorant me

what "kitty, kitty" is about. All I can think of is a reference to Kittie Dukakis.

[smallprint]

6. I think it means

that Rush is will be so high, he will think the callers are cats i.e. hallucinating.

Ahhhh, drug humor...

:evilgrin: :smoke: :evilgrin:

[Devilock]

10. Here kitty kitty...

Dave was talking once about having an eccentric uncle or brother at a family gathering, who always sat in a chair in a corner, leaning over and going, "heeeeeere, kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty;" Dave added that they didn't have a cat.

Or wait, maybe he was talking about himself, being high on meds after his shingles episode. Hmph, now I've confused myself. It was one of those two. Maybe it was both (maybe he compared himself to the eccentric uncle).

I used to be a much bigger Dave fan than I am now. (He's still great, though, just not the same.)

[tom_paine]

3. ROFLMAO

:bounce: :bounce:

[snippy]

4. Oxydittos !

[leesa]

5. If only it was because the Feds had charged him with illegal procurement

and possession of a controlled substance. Why aren't they doing their job?

[eleny]

7. That's the dose he really needs - reality

[UTUSN]

8. Kick for the Hypocrite/Scoundrel's Return n/t

[Richardo]

9. My faves: numbers 2 and 3...

"3-hour show at the Jack in the Box" made me spew coffee... :D