David Zephyr
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Thu Nov-20-03 09:02 PM
Original message |
If Global Corps Can Buy the Democratic Party, AARP Never Had a Chance. |
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Edited on Thu Nov-20-03 09:43 PM by David Zephyr
And fast forwarding now to 2010 to a television studio in Orlando, Florida…
Establishing shot fades into a tanned Newt Gingrich who is sporting a powder blue leisure suit. Audience applause track is mixed in with weak clapping from an actual live audience of consumed and pale-faced seniors who are either stretched out on gurneys or seated within wheel chairs. Lawrence Welk music swells as the camera zooms in for a tight head shot of Newt and his ever so taut face and lipo-suctioned jowls.
NEWT: Hi. I'm Newt Gingrich and I’m the official 2010 National Spokesperson for AARP. A lot of folks sometimes mistake me for my dead-ringer and long lost identical twin, Slobodan Milosevic, but that's OK. But to refresh your memories a bit, I'm the guy who was once secretly audio-taped during a speech where I had advocated, and pardon my Serbian here, pulling the plug on Medicare.
VOICE FROM THE AUDIENCE: Let it wither on the vine, baby! Let it wither on the vine!
NEWT: Dear me! It's Bill Novelli, the CEO of AARP himself, sitting here in our studio audience tonight. Bill, you are such a rascal. I'll hook up with you and Bill Frist later at the Eli Lily Event. Let’s give it up ladies and gentlemen for Bill Novelli, who gave us all a whole new perspective of the old adage about the fox guarding the henhouse.
NOVELLI: We love you, Newtie. We love you!
NEWT: Folks, we have a splendid program for you this evening here at the Soylent Green Seniors Theme Park and Assisted Living Compound. And as we break for a brief message from our sponsor, Ensure, I’d like to sing a song that sort of sums up my checkered life.
Music rises as an overhead projection screen flickers with the multi-color and shining corporate logo from the Barbara Bush Academies of Taxidermy and Salon Centers. Newt, clasping the microphone, lovingly looks directly at Camera Three:
NEWT: Isn’t it rich? Isn’t it Queer --- Did you hear that Candace? --- Losing my timing this late in my career. But where are the clowns? There ought to be clowns….
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WhoCountsTheVotes
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Thu Nov-20-03 09:05 PM
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1. that would be very funny if it wasn't so likely |
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"If Global Corps Can Buy the Democratic Party, AARP Never Had a Chance."
Yep.
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David Zephyr
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Thu Nov-20-03 09:42 PM
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3. Yeah. How Much Do You Think Bill Novelli Cost to Deliver? |
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What was his asking price to betray millions of seniors for generations?
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WhoCountsTheVotes
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Thu Nov-20-03 09:46 PM
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4. I bet it was surprisingly cheap |
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and I bet he didn't lose an hour of sleep over it either.
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welshTerrier2
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Thu Nov-20-03 09:23 PM
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it was so real ... i almost felt like i was in the audience ...
great job !!!
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David Zephyr
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Thu Nov-20-03 10:15 PM
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5. Just Sit Back And Relax While We Flush Your Feeding Tube With MBTE. |
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We'll wash it through with a cool-aid chaser and then you're off to dream land with Charlton.
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Tue Apr 23rd 2024, 12:28 PM
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