I Witnessed Legal Child Abuse Today....

[southerngirlwriter]

.....I was sitting outside the car wash, waiting on my car to get polished and vacuumed. There was a family on the bench already waiting. The father jumped up to give me his seat, which I thought considerate. Then I noticed their little boy. He was *maybe* 2 years old. Had a buzz cut. A buzz cut, like a Marine! The boy started crying because he dropped his cookie. His father made him pick it up. He didn't want to -- he said, "It's dirty, daddy." His father got in his face and said, "Soldiers don't care about dirt! Are you a good soldier?" The boy started to cry. He said, "Pick it up, or you're gettin' a whippin'!" The boy picked it up. He didn't eat it, just held it in his hand and cried softly.

The father was obviously nuts. He wandered off at one point and I said to the mother, "Why do you let him do that? The boy's about fifteen years too young for boot camp." She said, "He's worried that (boy's name) will be a homosexual. He cries a lot and is always wanting to sit in our laps."

I said, "You're a disgrace to motherhood. When that kid gets old enough for weapons training, you better sleep with one eye open."

Then my car was done and I left. Crying.

Jesus. Herman. Christ.

[Lars39]

1. ......on a stick!

:wow: :mad: That poor little kid. :(

[qanda]

2. There was nothing *legal* about that child abuse!

eom

[Demobrat]

7. Yes there was.

He didn't touch the kid. Psychological abuse is not, unfortunately, a punishable offense.

[Name removed]

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[Name removed]

25. Deleted message

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[bearfartinthewoods]

28. no offense but we get a LOT of new people here everyday

many of them tell us stories that are just what we need/want to hear to validate our own opinions of the opposition. often, they aren't what they seem to be.

[southerngirlwriter]

29. I don't have a lot of posts...

because I only post when I have something to say.

[Zomby Woof]

34. Welcome to DU southergirlwriter

Your story is indeed very troubling. I shudder to think how that child's wiring will end up, and what kind of adult he is being molded into.

Stop by the Lounge forum sometime. We're friendly, and not (quite) as crazy. :hi:

[amazona]

37. this isn't odd or uncommon at all on the gulf coast

When I first moved to south Louisiana many years ago, I was astounded that perfect strangers would start talking to me in grocery lines and rambling on about all their personal business. You may rest assured that the Appalachians and Piedmonts are not like that -- you would be lucky to get a stranger to tell you the time of day! It is a different culture. I suspected she must be deep South even before I cheated and scrolled down to see she was from Alabama.

The bad thing about it...is after living here so long...I'm afraid I'm one of those people now who chat to perfect strangers in the grocery line!

[LoZoccolo]

39. In the south...

...people start conversations with strangers in the regular course of things all the time. I was in Memphis for a day and even in the van on the way to the airport all these complete strangers just started talking to each other.

[rasputin1952]

26. I beg to differ...

psychological abuse may indeed not be a "court" legal case case, but it sure as hell is with me. I've confronted many such people over time, and have never backed down from protecting a child, whether physical or psychological abuse were in question. Occasionally, I've come close to having my butt beat in public, but inevitably the individual has backed down. I have left lines in stores to take down license numbers and inform the abuser that I would inform the police if I felt the welfare of the child was in danger.

Once, I got into an altercation with a 250#+ man who was dragging a 3 year old boy through a store yelling at him "shut the &^%* up". I stood in front of thim and told him I'd rip his nuts off before he could hit me, if he didn't leave that kid alone. One of the Asst. Mgr's called the cops, and the guy was hauled off. The appalling part of this, was that the guy had been doing this for 10 min's before I entered the store! And NO ONE had said anything. When I opened my mouth, 8 customers surrounded this guy bitchinig at him. All it took was one voice.

I am no hero, and perhaps I am a fool, but I will NOT allow defensless children to be abused if I can help it. It may cost me a hospital stay in the future, who knows; but our children, and I mean all of our children, deserve a life free from thugs that would use them as physical or psychological punching bags!

Flame me if you will for getting involved in others lives, but if a child is saved, in my opinion, I am vindicated.

O8)

[bleedingheart]

36. I think you were right to come to the kid's defense

too many people mistreat their kids...psychological abuse is sometimes worse than physical abuse....the scars are internal and sometimes never heal...

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

3. I certainly hope...

You got their license plate. Report them. That IS child abuse. Period. Legally and morally.

Worried a 2 year old will turn out homosexual. Sheesh. That guy probably sneaks away to the pickle park tea rooms on I-40 to work the glory holes.

[southerngirlwriter]

9. Sorry, but it isn't legally abuse.

This is Alabama, remember? Kids just a little bit older than him regularly get their backsides battered by school principals with paddles. Churches hand out dowel rods to parents. Belts are legally used for "spankings."

He didn't touch the boy, merely threatened him with a whipping (which a cop would call "discipline") if he didn't obey his father.

Nothing illegal about a buzz cut.

As to the worrying the kid would be gay, that's legal, too. Focus on the Family publishes stuff about making little boys play rough and tumble games to encourage masculinity and other bullshit.

I agree that it's horrific, sickening, and certainly counts as abuse morally.

Legally? I could probably be sued for slander if I publicly named the guy and said he was a child abuser.

Sad. Sickening. True.

[rasputin1952]

27. I stand behind you 100%...

and it may well be that the the mother felt she had to get a burden off her chest.

My heart goes out to those that are filled with fear, and have no place to turn without repercussions. This woman should begin thinking about getting away from thios guy!

O8)

[dobak]

4. damn

I witnessed a parent verbally abuse their kid at a 6th grade baseball game

After the kid was called out on a groundball to 2nd, the parent walked over to the dugout and yelled at his kid for being a fat, slowpoke who is lucky to be on the team.

The team coach came out, took the father away from the area. A few minutes later, they both came back and the father looked like shit. He was crying and visibly distressed. He whispered something to his kid and them gave him a hug.

It was so quiet for the next few minutes - the game even stopped for 20-30 seconds.

[rasputin1952]

30. Back in '85, I had something similar to this happen...

I won't go into too many details, but suffice it to say that the bleachers were 4 seats high and this guy next to me kepts screaming at his son who was playin 3rd base. Poor kid made a couple of gaffes, and "dad" was berating him like that gate of hell had opened.

Letm us just say that in the 3rd inning, he had an "accident" when a fly ball went over the fence in Right field. Even thoug it was the opposing team, I jumped up with a huge display of joy, tossing my pop in his face, (by accident of course), and my right arm, just happened to knock him off the bleachers. Of course, this happened so fast I could not control my self; but I did find the time to lean over and say, "Shit, sorry man"; then went back to enjoying the game without that guy near me.

O8)

[flamingyouth]

5. OMG - I'm crying just hearing about this

I just want to take that little boy and cuddle him and love him. What a horrible story. You poor thing for seeing it. People like that should never have children, IMHO.

[TreasonousBastard]

6. I don't wonder...

that the kid cries a lot.

I do wonder what the kid will be like when he stops crying.

And I wonder why we still haven't figured out parenting.

[La_Serpiente]

8. I could somewhat relate

My good friend, who is gay, grew up maybe not in a military family, but in situations like that. When word got out that he was gay, the father became furious and literally didn't talk to him at all. It was really ugly and relations are still strained till today. The only thing you end up doing by raising a child like that is fucking the him/her up mentally.

Are you from California? Well State Sen. Knight, who is like that military father, was the one who led the movement to ban gay marriages in the state, which he suceeded in doing. No one would have expected that he would have a son that was gay, but he did. The father didn't know that he was gay, but when he found out, he cut off all communication with him. The son graduated from the Air Force Academy as well. How did everyone in the state find out that his son was gay? The son wrote a letter to the editor in the LA Times detailing to the public of his father, Sen. Knight, and the relations between the two.

Kind of a sad story if you ask me.

[girl gone mad]

10. People are so ridiculous!

My son was obsessed with lipstick and glitter when he was 2. We never discouraged him (heck, I probably encouraged it). Now he plays football and changes the channel when a Barbie commercial comes on.

I can only imagine the psychological damage this guy is doing to his son and what kind of person this boy is going to grow into.

[XanaDUer]

11. I'm a hetero female

who hated dolls, played with trucks, sometimes played with my mother's cosmetics, wore her wigs, liked "boy toys", too.

We are so busy trying to shove each other into boxes , it's sad and scary. :eyes:

[JitterbugPerfume]

15. sad

a good , sweet and gentle friend of mine just told me recently of his sorrow over never fathering a child. There is no justice in the world

[The Backlash Cometh]

12. You're wonderful for speaking up.

When we lived in a community that was mostly composed of blue collar workers, I was surprised how they encouraged their toddlers to beat-up any peer that pushed them around. Even if it was a recreational game, they encouraged their boys to push anyone out of their way to get to the ball, even members of their own team!

We moved to a higher income bracket neighborhood and it was no different. I heard two mothers on different occasions tell their daughters in front of my child, there can only be one dominant person in the room -- you decide who that's going to be. I saw their kids turn into bossy bitches. Needless to say, the relationships didn't last.

Different neighborhoods, Same plot.

[greekspeak]

13. My prediction

If there is any validity to social and psychological factors contributing to a child being a homosexual...

This little boy is going to be looking for a whole lot of love from a man some day to replace that his father denies him because lack of cruelty will "make him gay."

If dear old dad had any sense about him, he would know that the best way to shape a well-adjusted child is to whole-heartedly love him or her. When are people going to realize that if someone is going to be gay, they are going to be gay? It would not suprise me if Dad's cruel behavior is not itself a cry for love.

[chookie]

14. Now that we are sharing stories...

...here's my disturbing story.

I am a pretty mild-mannered and demure blonde woman, who has a tiny fluffy pomeranian dog. I was out in a local park (SW PA) taking Marigold for a walk. A young boy -- perhaps 8, who had been fishing with his Dad smiled at me and said "What a nice dog! Can I meet her?" and I said "Sure." He petted her, and seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself, as she is a very cute and sweet little dog. His Dad saw -- Dad is maybe 20 years old, and dressed like a redneck -- and started screaming at the kid "HAVEN"T I TOLD YOU NEVER TO TALK TO STRANGERS? Don't you know I'm trying to FISH? F*** you! F*** you! (to the boy)" and started pounding him on the back.

I was terribly shocked and taken aback, as it had been the most innocent and sweet of encounters, and I could not imagine how his father could have perceived it as at all threatening. I felt so sorry for the kid, who despite being dressed up as a redneck, seemed to be very nice. What a nightmare to be stuck with an abusive creep like that as a Dad, who was something right out of the tv show "Cops."

I told someone about this incident and she said that the father may have over-reacted because perverts use cute dogs as lures.

Oh come on.

[dsc]

20. He certainly over reacted

but frankly, there is so much about pedeophiles in the media that he may well have been thinking of that. It is sad that in the name of protecting children from a real but relatively rare threat we are denying them things they really need. I am often afraid to hug children while I teach but if one approaches I let them. But I do sometimes still worry. We have to moderate this reaction to a real problem.

[ElsewheresDaughter]

16. hey what's wrong with that mother???/ she should be held accountable also

[DarbyUSMC]

38. Notice that nothing was said until the father walked away. Why not have

confronted him? I think it is because he sent out vibes of danger. No doubt the child's mother gets the same vibes from him. Hopefully she will come out of her fog and get out of the situation to insure her child's safety as well as her own. At least something was said to the mother and people will notice this man and someone one day will turn him in so at least it might be determined what is going on in the home.

[jiacinto]

17. I would have minded my own business

and then took the license plate number down and then reported it to the authorities.

Then again, given how horrible foster care is and how horrible social services in most states, he might be better off where he is. That's how difficult it can be in those situations.

[Noordam]

18. Some parents are CRAZY and do more damage than they know

I always wondered how this child turned out. While everybody will agree that kids should not get into stranger cars, but how much talking to them should a "parent" do.

I (male) lived two houses down from this family for over 6 years. I knew them as neighbors and knew their kids, the father got a new job in Atlanta and I watched the 5/8 girls while the packers were packing. The father and 13 boy was out and when they returned I asked if I could take the three kids for ice cream. No problem.... We got into the car and within a block the 5 yo was screaming her head off the "I'm not to be in stranger's car"..... OK I turned around and took her home and then drove the 8/13 for ice cream.

Points: The 5 yo had be around me all her life. Her father in front of her said that she could go in my car and get ice cream with me. And in the car were her 13 yo brother and 8 yo sister.

I have always wonder what other physiological damage this father did to these kids.

[Lars39]

23. I hesitate to say this,

but don't assume it was just the father. At age 6 she had already been exposed to the anti-stranger message at school. It can be handled poorly at that level, too.

[proud patriot]

19. As an early childhood professional all I can say

The results of this abuse are not going to be what the father
thinks . My god a 2 year old can't even tell the difference
between genders . Usually a boy will go around calling everyone
he because that's what he is , and girls go around calling
everyone she . At least that's what developmentally appropriate
from 2 to 4 .....

Ultimately , this child will be whoever but will always
remember who he is , is not what his dad wants whether
that leads to depression or rage one can never know ,
but that in the end will be the result a feeling of
inadequecy .

[NNN0LHI]

21. Need a license to drive. Need one to fish. But any asshole can have a kid

That is a truly disturbing story. I am afraid...no, change that to I am sure, I would be in jail right now had I witnessed that.

Don

[dsc]

22. That is so sad

I am so glad my dad wasn't that way. I am sure he would have preferred to have me interested and good at what he was interested in and good at but I just wasn't. He accepted that and encouraged me in my interests. I have even turned him into a bit of a film buff. That child will be screwed up and I hope for his sake he isn't gay because it would be all the worse for him. Some parents don't deserve kids.

[Kanary]

31. From one who was abused

Whenever you find yourself in a situation like this, especially one you *think* can't be reported...

If there is any possible way, try to have a second with the kid, and let him/her know that s/he is OK. That may not seem like much, but believe me, that little bit of support in the midst of insanity can make a difference in how the child perceives him/herself.

I found out, many years later, that two of my neighbors had tried to talk to my dad about how he was treating me. Even though it was too late then for any change to happen, it affected me greatly to know that somebody else saw it, and knew it was wrong.

I have been known to say something to the parent in a situation like this. Not because I think it will change the parent's behavior, but because I want the child to hear someone is in their corner. It *does* "register".

Kanary

[_NorCal_D_]

32. Unbelievable....

Poor kid. :cry:
:( :mad:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

33. An incident that still haunts me

About ten years ago, I was on the Portland Bus Mall downtown when I spotted a couple with two little girls, one about 7 and the other about 3.

The younger girl was whining incoherently and sitting down on the sidewalk, refusing to walk along with the rest of the family.

I've never had kids, but even I can recognize the Tired Toddler syndrome. I knew that the proper thing to do was pick the kid up and get her home for a nap as soon as possible.

But no, instead, the father started yelling at her: "You filthy little cunt! You always want to have your own way! Get the fuck up off the sidewalk or I'll knock your fucking head off!"

He began dragging her along the sidewalk by one arm.

Ironically, the older girl, who was not in overtired mode, was being carried by the mother.

I was horrified, but I didn't intervene, maybe half because the father was so obviously out of control.

But to this day, I wish that I had done something. I would not be surprised if that little girl, who must be in her teens now, isn't a runaway living on the streets.

I've resolved that if I ever witness a scene like this again, I'll speak up.

[NNN0LHI]

35. I would have been looking around for a 2X4 to hit the SOB in the head with

And I avoid violence every chance I can. Hate violence. I would have still whopped him a good one though.

Don