The Cat in the GOP Hat

[theivoryqueen]

http://www.post-gazette.com/columnists/20031125regcol1125p5.asp

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The Cat in the GOP Hat Comes Back!
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
With apologies to the late, great Dr. Seuss:

Job creation did not shine
Deficits were too big to say
So we sat in the office
All that long, miserable day
I sat there with Sally.
We sat there, it's true.
And I said, "How I wish
We could write an insightful column or two!"
But all we could do was be in a
Snit!
Snit!
Snit
And being liberals we did not like it.
Not one little bit.
And then
Someone yelled CHUMP!
How that "chump" made us jump!
We thought it might be Rush Limbaugh
Back to tell us we stunk
We looked!
And we saw him
The Cat in the GOP Hat!
And he said to us,
"Why do you sit there pouting like that?"
"I know the Democrats are all wet
And the folks in Iraq are not chummy
But we can have
Lots of good fun that is funny!"
"I know some good games with statistics we could play,"
Said the Cat in the GOP Hat.
"A lot of good fund-raising tricks.
I will show them to you
Your editors
Will not mind at all if I do."
But the office fish said, "No! No!
Make that fat cat go away.
He wants to end our overtime
So only the rich can play!"
"Have no fear!" said the cat.
"I will not let you fall.
I will hold you up high.
In public favor I always stand tall.
Why, we can have
Lots of good fun, if you wish
With a game that I call
Treat the public like fish."
"Look at me. Look at me now," said the cat.
"With a war and a deficit
On the top of my hat!
I can make some big tax cuts
I can put red ink on the books
And look!
I can hop up and down and have a ball
And the critics can't say anything effective at all."
That is what the cat said ...
And, logically he should have fallen on his head!
He should have come down with a bump
From up there on his budget-busting ball
But everybody was too busy waving their flags
To care too much about anything at all.
Still, said the fish to the cat,
"Now look what you did
Look at this! Look at that!
You sank our balanced budget
Sank it deep in the cake.
You confounded our House
And you replaced our old rake.
You should not be here
When our good sense has fled."
"But I like to be here.
Oh, I like it a lot!"
Said the Cat in the GOP Hat
"I'll be back for four more years
Because you are all fish in my pot."
And then he ran out.
And as fast as a fox
In charge of the hen house a lot
The Cat in the GOP Hat
Came in with a box.
"I will pick up the hook.
You will see something new.
Two things. And I call them
Spinmeister One and Spinmeister Two
These things will not tax you
They want to have fun."
Then, out of the box
Came Spinmeister Two and Spinmeister One!
And they ran to us quick.
They said, "How do you do?
Would you like to shake hands
With Spinmeister One and Spinmeister Two?
Would you like to give money
Because our energy policy's so funny?
Would you like to aid a pointless war?
By giving us those blank checks galore?"
Then he shut up those spinmeisters
In the box with the hook
And the cat went away
To impress voters in some other nook.
"That is good," said the fish.
"He has gone away. Yes.
But our children will come.
They will inherit this big mess!
And this mess is so vast
And so deep and so tall
No other administration can pick it up
There is no way at all."
And this time the cat did not come back
Though we did get a tip of his hat.

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