How meaningless was your college commencement speech?

[greatauntoftriplets]

I graduated from Northwestern University in 1971. It was the height of the Vietnam war. Big body counts. For some stupid reason, the chosen commencement speaker was Senator Margaret Chase Smith, an extremely conservative senator from Maine who was a big-time war hawk.

Does it go without saying that she was not a popular choice? Need I say that her entire windbag address was a total joke -- except, perhaps, to some of the parents? Fortunately, my parents were as disgusted with the choice.

Share your horror stories.

[LoZoccolo]

1. Sandra Day O'Connor and Robert Altman

I didn't even realize who they were. I knew who they were, but I didn't know the people on stage were them. I don't have a very good span of attention.

[LoZoccolo]

3. University of Michigan, winter 1996.

I forgot to mention that. And that I don't think I was really listening because I don't remember really anything.

[NicoleM]

2. 1998, Elizabeth Dole

No recollection of anything she said.

[eyesroll]

4. 1997, and it was the director of the Peace Corps, whose name I can't

remember. Plenty of Beloit grads end up in the Peace Corps, so it was pretty relevant. I don't remember a word she said, though.

[flamingyouth]

5. Our university president, William Gerberding

"The Gerb"

Ours was the last year to have the mandatory speech by the UW pres - after that, they were able to start soliciting interesting people to come to campus.

[unblock]

6. we gave an honorary degree to dr. seuss!

and the salutatorian's speech is a riot. it's always done entirely in latin, but they quietly distribute the speech to the graduating class. it includes cues like (groan), (applause), (laugh), (hiss), so all the parents get the impression that the entire senior class understands latin fluently!

of course, i have no idea what the speech was about, but it was fun!

[Xandor]

7. 1973, deep in the horror of the Nam years, and our speaker...

was KURT VONNEGUT!!!! He was WONDERFUL!

[Kat45]

8. We had B.F. Skinner. I don't know why.

I was pissed. Don't remember what he talked about. I wanted to smoke the joint I had with me, but my seat was on the aisle and my parents could see me from their seat, so I couldn't light up. Left it on the seat when I went up to get my diploma (so there wouldn't be any 'outing' of the joint), and when I came back, it was to a different seat. I was pissed again. I hope whoever got that seat enjoyed the joint.

[OneBlueSky]

9. pretty meaningful, actually . . . we had Kurt Vonnegut . . .

Hobart College, 1974 . . . I have a copy of his speech around somewhere . . . if I can find it, I'll post some excerpts . . .