Getting ready for Mother's Day...tell us a funny story about your mom.

[WillParkinson]

My friend and I were out watching the meteor shower one night when my mom came out. I turned to my friend and we started talking about necrophelia. My friend asked my mom is she was into it. She looked and me and I nodded my head a bit and she said, "I used to, but not any more...." and we cracked up.

When I told her what it meant she smacked me for good measure.

[Wcross]

1. Back when I was a teenager....

My brother ran over a lamp post near our driveway while riding around the yard in his dune buggy. My mom raised hell about it and told him "I wish you could careful!".
That night, she was going to the grocery store and was backing out the driveway. You guessed it, she took out the other post. I guess she hit the gas instead of the brakes! We had a little fun with that one.

[WillParkinson]

2. Ah, the mom rules...

Bet you made her feel about 3 inches high with that one.

[Cursive_Knives512]

3. When my mom was younger she was always getting into trouble...

Her mom kept telling her something like... "What goes around comes around... you'll get a trouble-making daughter too, someday."

One day she said that and my mom replied, "Wow, what did you do wrong when you were young to deserve me?"

But I guess my mom wasn't too bad of a kid, since I'm an angel O8) :eyes:

[LWolf]

4. Okay

A decade or so ago, she went on a day trip to a local national park with me and my son; I had a meeting with a ranger there, and then we were going to spend the day hiking, etc.

While waiting for me to get done with the meeting, she and the son, teenagers at the time, were hanging out in the parking lot, watching the birds. A man approached them to talk about bird watching; my mother is not a birder. He was chatting away about his recent trip somewhere, and the ______________ he'd seen. My mother listened, nodded, agreed that ______________ were beautiful birds, etc. She talked to this man about these birds for 20 minutes. When he left, she turned to my son and whispered, "What are 'snoggies?'" She had no clue. Scroll down.










My son, turning several colors trying to contain his amusement, said, "Not 'snoggies,' grandma....snow geese. He was talking about snow geese." Needless to say, he couldn't wait to share this with me when I showed up. And a decade later, he will still sometimes greet her with, "Hey, seen any 'snoggies' lately?"

[flamingyouth]

5. I'm 35 and she still asks me to put on a sweater if she's cold!

I love you, Mom!:loveya:

[WillParkinson]

7. That's the amazing thing about Mom...

She can be sick but still wants to make sure her baby is healthy.

A few years ago I developed an "Acute Respiratory Infection". I was, the doctor said, very infectious and shouldn't have contact with anyone. It was the sickest I've ever been as an adult. My skin hurt. I couldn't wear any clothes because it hurt so bad so I had to sit on the couch, naked, with a comforter put loosely around me. My temperature was 103 for days.

On Solstice I couldn't leave the house so Mom was going to come over and pick up the gifts from our porch and leave ours.

Mom wasn't having any of it. She came over and refused to leave until we let her in so she could see for herself that I was still alive.

[cally]

6. My Mom taught various sciences

in a HS. One day she got access to a geiger counter and decided to show the class how it worked with our dishes. Turns out they were slightly radioactive. She came home and threw out every dish we had in the house. We had no dishes for months. It took that long for her to figure out what she wanted. I think you had to be there for this one. It was just funny seeing my Mom in a whirlwind carrying out dishes and then trying to figure out how we were going to eat dinner.

[VelmaD]

8. My mom got ejected from a YMCA basketball game

When I was a kid my mom still played in the YMCA basketball league and I can remember her getting ejected from a league basketball game for having a bad attitude.

I kinda knew it would happen eventually. I had already seen her get a technical foul prior to that. Her team was behind by a basket or two with the game winding down. This was prior to the shot clock so the other team was running down the clock with a weave drill up near the half court line. My mom got pissed and plopped down on the floor. The ref blew the whistle, walked over to her, and asked what the hell she thought she was doing. My momma said, "when they get ready to play I'll get back up". He slapped her with a T.

The game where she got ejected was pretty funny too in retrospect. This woman on the other team was charging into the lane all night and running people over and just basically trying to throw her weight around. She was considerably taller and bigger than everyone else on the court and she was being really snotty about that. And of course she never got called for any fouls. So finally my momma got tired of it and decided the next time she came charging down the lane she was gonna flatten her. My momma planted her feet, got all her body weight under her, and when that woman came down the lane my mom threw all her body weight forward into her and just laid her out. Got hit with a flagrant foul and ejected. Like I said...my momma is highly competitive and has a bad attitude sometimes. :)

[doc03]

9. One Thanksgiving when serving the turkey she said that she had looked

everywhere for her turkey baster and finally found it in the basement. She was using a Prestone anti-freeze tester. We still get a good laugh out of that one.

[WillParkinson]

17. Geez...what did you eat for dinner?

I hope no one got sick off the turkey.

[Bertha Venation]

14. sounds like a woman after my heart, Velma

:hi:

[BlackVelvetElvis]

10. Recently my mom went into a public restroom

and at the exit, they had a full length mirror. She told us she saw some "old woman" in that mirror and said, "Excuse me" when she nearly bumped into her.

Mom's very funny.

[TXDemGal]

11. When I was a kid my mom and I were at a discount store

kinda like today's Target. Each of us had to use the restroom, so after I'm done in my stall I'm waiting for my mom to come out of hers. I'm waiting and waiting, but she never comes out. So I leave the women's restroom and wait outside the restroom area (women's and men's).

After a while, mom comes out of the men's restroom. I grab her arm and tell her she was in the men's restroom. She said, "Oh, I guess that's why the little boy gave me a funny look when I asked him 'What are you doing in here, little boy?'"

[Bertha Venation]

12. My mother was on a bowling team called "Up Your Average."

:shrug:

[Bertha Venation]

13. oh, yeah, another: at McDonald's

She liked to tell the story of how she dragged her three daughters under the age of four into McDonald's one day and ordered five hankamers.

[fortyfeetunder]

15. Mom and the family dog

We had this mutt when I was growing up, and she and my mom had a special relationship, sometime it was love-love and sometime it was love-hate

Well, Mom had been catching the dog sleeping in her bed so she bought this aerosol can of some crap called "Dog Away" and she'd spray paper towels and lay them near the bed to keep the dog away. But she happened to keep the can on her dresser.

One morning as we were asleep, we heard Mom take a shower...and then we heard the aerosol can, and then Mom took a shower again, turns out when she reached for the spray deodorant, she accidentally grabbed the Dog Away...

And then when the dog ate her sheet cake, she ended up finding another recipe that tasted better than the original, and she named it after the dog...

And Mom loved the litters the dog had, even though Dad was the culprit who let the dog loose while she was in heat.

Mom beat me to the Rainbow Bridge....

[Bertha Venation]

16. here's one about my mother-in-law, and then I have to go to bed

much to y'all's relief...

Mrs. V. flew out to California 3 1/2 years ago to move me to the DC area to be with her. We packed my stuff in 5 feet of rented space on a freight truck & sent it ahead. Then we packed for a 10-day vacation, put Harry & Richard Cat in the car, and took off across the country.

When we hit Tennessee, we stayed w/ Mrs. V.'s parents for two days. My mother-in-law, Alice, professed to -- well, not to hate cats, but she did NOT like having them in her house. They stayed with us in the bedroom at night but spent the rest of the time on the large screened-in back porch.

On the day we left, we were giving the boys their kitty thorazine so they could sleep through the ride. They HATED being pilled; it was just one more thing to traumatize them on this Bataan-like death-drive.

After Mrs. V. got Richard's pill down his throat, Alice, who did not like cats, said with all the love of a mother, "You spit that out, honey!"

OH! I wish I could post it as she said it. This 70-year-old southern woman who didn't like the cats in her house . . . . I guess you just had to be there. But that was one of my first impressions of my mother-in-law and I tell you, I love that woman with all my heart. Happy mother's day, Alice. :loveya:

[fudge stripe cookays]

18. My mom has always been very fastidious....

dare I say prissy about doing anything that wasn't remotely feminine. It was really hard for her to adapt when they began phasing out full-service gas stations down here.

Back around '79 or so, we made a family trek down to Alice, TX to visit relatives for Thanksgiving. Mom had been telling dad that he needed to show her how to use the gas pump.

And it was just so funny. She made this big production about how complicated this procedure was.

My dad, bless his heart, dealt with mom for 26 years and always kept a very mellow attitude and a rapier sharp sense of humor.

Instructing her in a very detailed manner, as if it was rocket science, his lesson went something like this....

"Take the pump nozzle off the pump.
Depress the lever on the pumping mechanism."

She leaned in closer to make sure she didn't miss anything really important.

"Stick the nozzle in your ear." And he demonstrated.

"JOHN!!"

It's been a family joke ever since.