What would you do if your significant other cheated on you?

[ringmastery]

kick 'em to the curb or try to work it out and forgive them?

[Andy_Stephenson]

1. Cut his nuts off and feed them to the dog...

Ok maybe a bit extreme...

[trof]

5. Is that YOU, Hon?

Oh sh*t.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

19. That's what I've told Skip...

And I think I'd do it too...
Duckie

[trof]

2. I'd work it out. She'd castrate me.

Double standard, ya know.

[trumad]

4. Watch

[villager]

3. um, speaking from experience, alas...

divorce her.

[Fenris]

6. Depression followed by boozing and passing out in street

Then I'd write a song about it. Did I mention booze.

Then I'd decide what to do. Probably forgive them. Maybe.

[Catholic Sensation]

7. work it out the first time they got caught

if they cheated after that, end the relationship.

[Supormom]

8. BaBye!

So long! See ya'!

[readmylips]

9. Work it Out....

Happiness and Faults in a marriage are two streets. Both contribute.

I know at least 5 couples, now in their 50+ years of marriage, who worked it out. They are happier today than ever. Of course, there was no physical abuse involved. Yes, mental abuse is part of it. If both couples can straightened their mental being, they will succeed at a bettr marriage. My parents were one of those couples.

[eileen from OH]

10. I don't know - I'd deal with it if it came up

I don't think about this kind of stuff. Really. If I am ever cheated upon, I will truly be the last one to know. And that's the way I want it. I couldn't stop it ahead of time and I prefer to live in a trusting, non-jealous relationship and just assume it's something I won't have to deal with.

I guess that sounds like I'm a total innocent and maybe naive, but I think once you start seriously thinking about what you'd do if your partner cheated is one step away from looking for "signs." And that I refuse to do.

I've had plenty of disappointments in my life, and faced a lot of challenges, so I have no doubt I will, if it becomes necessary, deal with it. In the meantime, I live my life, love my life, love mr. eileen, and don't worry about it.

Stoopid? Maybe. Setting myself up for a fall? Maybe. Pretty darn happy? Oh yeah. (Shit, I sound like Rumsfeld.)

eileen from OH

[SarahB]

11. Neither

Given that we rather want to separate (probably more on my end), but can't at the moment due to money stuff, I'd be happy if he found someone who could make him happier than I seem to have been able to. My only rule is monogamy and honesty. I'd want to know and I wouldn't want to be sleeping with him anymore if he were sleeping with someone else. It would be much harder for him to accept though for me. Then again, I wouldn't consider doing anything like that unless I felt something pretty strongly anyway. Double standard, no. Just the circumstances of emotions and our relationship at the present.

[sweetheart]

12. So much depends

On the actual circumstance, the karmas involved and what is "right"
that i could never say on an abstract case. Sex is so so many
things beyond an act of passion, rather a tantric dance with another
soul. Love is such a greater thing than a nights passion, and i
*KNOW* that, i do not have any, even remotest distrust of my
spouse. I don't ask, and i don't tell. We enjoy our time togther
to its most bestest brightest moments, with no holds barred on
whatever works to make life enlightened, sublime and brilliant.

If we want to be together, we are. If we want to be apart we are.
Both of us have had many previous "serious" relationships, and don't
really give a toss about todays passion, its whatever gets it up
for you today baby. Its a hard fikking world and you can't help
but mentally sex everything that you touch, engaging with it and
melding with things as you touch them in life.

I've had sex with every person i've ever wanted to. I ask the same
of her if she wants to, i support her free will. I married to
support someone in their free will and life long development
as a human being. I think television has undermined the
more profound aspect that spiritual marriage can be about.
It is surrendering your self and importance for another,
and having a subtle and sweet love as every single moment is
a gift.

Cheat? Forgive? These words are not in my buddhist religion.

[LynzM]

17. Wow, what a way to look at it

I really admire that, in a way... I'm not sure I could do it, but I think if it works for both of you, to allow both of you to pursue passions like that while still dedicated to each other, that's amazing...

[sweetheart]

21. European marriage

We often work in separate cities in our professional lives, and there
is plenty of opportunity, geesh she has a had a flat on an island
in the middle of the siene in paris for months most years. German
culture is long term. I enjoy our americano-germanic bond. The
german president has had something like 4 wives and the affairs and
stuff are open and no big fikking deal. Life is long and complex,
you meet people, love evolves and matures. It takes years, and
perhaps lifetimes of maybe really loving the person that you had
the good luck to meet in a life and to have a long life together.

Sex is short term. It is passion, it is like running a mile. Hu
Hu Hu Hu aaahhh. and then you're sharing the toilet and he leaves
hair in the sink and she leaves hair in the shower. Once the
novelty of plumbing wears off, you either love them really as souls
or not.... and that is such a long term thing. Marriage by my view
is really a death to us part thing. Its more religious, a
committment to supporting all the human rights of your spouse that
they come to be every dream of their life, that every brilliant gift
in the universe come to them and that they be happy and enlightened.

By the bond of our marriage, we are married to all living beings.
It is the bodhisattva vow.

[CrownPrinceBandar]

13. See ya!......................eom

[nini]

14. Leave... I'll never put myself through that again..

if someone strays I wouldn't trust them again and without that the relationship would never work.

[supernova]

15. Bye Bye!

I don't need the aggravation.

I'm at a point in my life I could be just as happy being alone as being in a relationship.

[KG]

16. ask if she remebered to bring home a copy of the video

:evilgrin:

[HereSince1628]

18. Beat myself up for choosing badly, again.

Fool me once shame on you,
Fool me thrice (ja!) shame on me.

My advice...never let the little head think for the big head,
never expect your heart to be rational,
never take anything for granted when big head and heart agree.

[1monster]

20. Yawn, ask him if he was enjoying himself and do whatever the heck I

wanted to.....

[put out]

28. With you on this.

Shrug. Wander off. O.K. Mate, unburden yourself somewhere else. I have enough to think about.

[RC]

22. Dumped the woman.

After some mind games, BS and cheating on her part.
Something like a year later at a dance, she comes over and snuggles up to me and tells me she has been thinking about me and wants to get back together. I proceeded to tell her how much she had hurt me, how for the first time in my life I have a trust problem. I had to get counseling to help me get over her.
I gave her my card with my photo web site on it so she could see what I had been doing in the mean time. Never heard back from her. That was the closest I came to revenge.
Even now, years later, I still feel the hurt from what could have been if she had had her act together.

BTY I still see women as individuals. I sometimes have to work at it though now.

[Donkeyboy75]

23. Mine did yesterday.

We were playing Scrabble, and she turned over the letter "J" tile to make it look like a blank so she could score a bingo. Oh, I was steamed.

:mad:

[Whitacre D_WI]

24. Hm. I suppose I wouldn't so much give a damn.

:shrug:

[northofdenali]

25. You mean, AFTER I killed him?

Seriously, I have never even contemplated the question! But my ex cheated, repeatedly, and he's my ex.............

[dawg]

26. I don't think I could ever get over it.

Even if I wanted to forgive her and continue the relationship, I don't think I would be capable of doing so. I would be so hurt I would make both of our lives miserable.

[NightTrain]

27. I'd be hurt beyond words and would make good and sure my S.O. knew it!

Of course, I tried that before and it had no effect. Little did I know she was a cyborg! (Guess the wire-mesh pubic hair should've clued me in.)

[notimetoloose]

29. Never cheated

He just beat me. Life's a bitch...and I'm getting bitchier!

[MrSlayer]

30. I would want to kill her but probably would just make her leave.

No forgiveness for that. I'm sorry there is no reason or excuse for it.

[kodi]

31. to paraphrase an old bonnie raitt song, go out & get 2 outside women

.

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. forgiveness, reconciliation

the usual non-revenge kind of thing.

And if there ends up that there can't be reconciliation, then so be it.

But I'd like to think that I would actually attempt to understand her and see what happened and etc.

Unless, of course, she came home and said, "I cheated on you because I think you are scum so I'm leaving you."

If it's that, then what's the use of talking, eh?

But getting violent? Throwing her out? Ridiculing her? What the hell. If she had an affair or cheated on me, than she had an affair and/or cheated on me. It does me no harm, it does not make me less "macho", it does not "insult" me (not to say I wouldn't think it rude or wrong or bad, but my self-esteem and self-worth isn't tied into what she does with her body, you know what I mean? Like people who think THEY'VE been insulted if their kid drops out of college or something. Geez. I am who I am, she is who she is - who she is and what she does not inform who I think I is, except that she's actaully very clever and witty so I do consider myself awfully damn lucky when I'm with her :-) )

[Only Me]

33. Mine did cheat many years ago...

They both lied , but I think it went on for about 10 months.
It was one of the most heart breaking things I have ever experienced.
I felt every emotion, and acted on many.
I left and put the house up for sale and moved many states away.
Later we tried again, for the sake of the children, they were devastated. It has worked out, for the most part. Years have passed and I still remember it fresh, like yesterday. I don't dwell there, but I will never forget it. And, trust is a Longgggg time in coming back. I have never let myself be as emotionally tied as I once was.


If I didn't have a long history, investsments, etc.,. and a family to think about...I don't believe I would have gotten back with him.