'I've never had good sex with a vegetarian'

[OneBlueSky]

How do you cook for your lover? Englishmen like nursery food, and having a Frenchman for dinner simply requires the right knickers. Italians, though, can be a bit more fastidious, found Lisa Hilton - who married one

The Observer
Sunday May 16, 2004

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/foodmonthly/story/0,9950,1214924,00.html

(snip)

As men judged my food, so my view of their reaction mattered equally. Frankly, I've never had good sex with a vegetarian. I like men who eat properly, who like their steak bloody, their eggs Benedict runny. Fastidiousness is as unappealing in the kitchen as it is in the bedroom; there's something emasculated about a man who lets himself be faced down by an escargot. Logically, someone as obsessed by the food/sex correlation as I am would select her lovers accordingly; but as with crème brulée, I never quite had the discipline to resist what I knew would turn out badly (hence the vegetarian. He had little round glasses and did yoga. Really). However, experience did prove that whether or not a man knows his artichoke from his elbow, when it comes to cooking, if not to sex, the clichés of national stereotypes hold true.

(snip)

Despite being deeply bored by people with carbohydrate anxiety, I did have two American boyfriends who were considerably more challenging. One was utterly fat phobic, convinced that the merest smear of animal lipids would provoke instant cardiac arrest, so quail stuffed with grapes and foie gras was not a winner. I vainly tried to explain that duck fat, after olive oil, is one of the cleanest fats, but arguing about cholesterol hardly counts as foreplay. The other, a New Yorker who was seeing two therapists simultaneously, claimed that my attempts to impress him with an authentic coq au vin indicated that I was deeply insecure. Fair enough, but a proper beurre manie takes hours to perfect and I wished he'd just eat his sodding casserole. He probably had a point, because I have never been relaxed enough to manage the Tom Jones approach to the dinner date. Crawling through the cutlery before we'd finished the first course seemed a waste, and the only time I did try to look lascivious with gravy in my hair was on a dodgy antique table with predictably slapstick results.

- more . . .

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/foodmonthly/story/0,9950,1214924,00.html

[Don_G]

1. As A Conissuer

I never order anything I can't pronounce, understand or have the waiter explain to me.

Thirty years ago, the "special" was Escargot on a special date....

[qwertyMike]

2. Slightly off-topic

But a girl friend once told me that oral sex with a Vegetarian male had a different 'taste' (if you get my drift) than with a regular omnivore guy.

Never occurred to me.
Anyone here, gay or female, care to comment?

[MAlibdem]

3. question...

do vegans "swallow"?


ok...blatant sex thread, but still interesting

[asthmaticeog]

12. Good question!

On the one hand, it's an animal protein, on the other hand, there's obviously consent possible that isn't there with, say, bacon -- someone who keeps a vegan diet and also, uh, plays flute needs to chime in on this.

[ant]

6. I've heard that

http://boards.webmd.com/message.asp?message_id=3334300

I've heard it applies to women, too.

[Deja Q]

11. Well, if the dude eats pineapple the one getting it will be pleased...

That's all I know, let alone care to elaborate on... :evilgrin:

[smirkymonkey]

4. She has a point...

a lack of sensuality seems to be at the heart of the matter. I once dated a guy who I think was anorexic and extremely fastidious about what he put into his mouth. Needless to say, our love life was quite unsatisfying.

I think a man who enjoys his food is so much more appealing than a fat-phobic, low-carb maniac. Of course some people have to watch their intake for health reasons, and I can appreciate that, but I do think there is something kind of limp about a guy who nibbles at his salad, dressing on the side.

[Guy_Montag]

7. From the other side,

I think a girl who's enthusiastic about what she's eating is much more attractive than one that just pecks away at a salad.

I suppose - thinking about it - if she likes eating, she'll like other pleasures of the flesh. Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

[Skittles]

14. yes

I think it has more to do with being anal-retentive than what one is eating.

[radwriter0555]

9. That applies to people! Those with true passion for living employ that

passion in everything we do...

Whether it's extoling the virtues of the right parma ham, or making love for hours... it's how one chooses to live life!

Without a lust for living the life, what's the point?

[daveskilt]

5. Ive never had good sex with a vegetable - except for turnips

[radwriter0555]

10. leafy or trimmed?

I HAVE to know!

[qwertyMike]

19. Try FIGS n/t

[radwriter0555]

8. My best breakfast ever, prepared by a gorgeous nude frenchman...

***sigh***

It just doesn't get better than that.

I have to say, he didn't make bacon.

[Guy_Montag]

13. Never fry in the nude, lots of tiny burns!

Been there, done that, now wear a t-shirt!

[radwriter0555]

15. one hopes a LONG tee shirt.

ahem.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

16. I'm a vegetarian..

Anybody want to test out this theory? :evilgrin:

[Az]

17. Its a poor workman that blames his tools

:evilgrin:

[ACK]

18. I have had good sex with a vegetarian

She tasted pretty good too. Oh, I meant her food tasted pretty good too. :-)

[mitchum]

20. I've never had good barbecue with a vegetarian...

or a Texan (tofu or cows just don't cut it)