Tonight's joke

[dflprincess]

sent to me by my cousin, the Sunday school teacher

A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the honest thing, and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection with him.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed,and placed in a cell.

After a couple of hours, policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping the guy off in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. "I noticed the "Choose Life" license plate holder, the "What Would Jesus Do" bumper sticker, the "Follow Me to Sunday School" bumper sticker, and the chrome plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally I assumed you had stolen the car."

[gmoney]

1. Reminds me of one of my favorites:

A rabbi and a priest get into a car accident and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the clerics is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God."

The rabbi continues, "And look at this. Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Mogen David wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then he hands the bottle to the priest.

The priest agrees, takes a few big swigs, and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap on, and hands it back to the priest.

The priest asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The rabbi replies, "No...I think I'll wait for the police."

[Streetdoc270]

2. I like that one... try this

Flood waters were taking over a small town and all the people were evacuated. The local priest refused to leave the church saying 'God will save me' As the waters rose some parishioners came in a 4x4 truck and asked the priest to get in, he replied 'God will save me'. The waters kept rising, the local FD came by in a boat 'Get in Father' they said but the priest rising from prayer said "God will save me". That night as the Priest was sitting on the roof of the church the Coast Guard came in a helicopter and told the priest to come aboard for safety, but for the third time the Priest refused. Later that evening the waters rose and took the life of the Priest, at the Golden Gates the Priest asked God why he did not save him. God replied ' I sent at Truck, Boat and a Helicopter! What more did you want?'