Wedding rant $$$$$$$$

[trof]

I'll keep this fairly anonymous, just in case.
We have some very close friends. VERY close.
Their youngest child is getting married this summer and we're invited.
No surprise.
Long before the official invitations came out we were told that the wedding would be in a major city not in the U.S. I checked airfares online. A bit steep for my wallet, but doable. A once-in-a-lifetime event (hopefully), and because of our relationship with the parents this is something we just cannot say "no thanks" to.

Then we get the invitation. Woops. The wedding is not q-u-i-t-e actually IN Major City. It's in Small Town about 7 FREAKING HOURS DRIVE AWAY from Major City. In a rented Car. Back to the internet.

The cost to fly is a little more than renting the car. But it's a one hour trip.
Originally, we planned NO rental car. Major City has good public transportation and taxis.
Now, even if we fly, we can't actually fly into Small Town. No commercial airport. We fly to Liddle Bit Bigger Town, and then rent a car for the 30 mile drive to Small Town.

This has turned into a cash hemorrhaging, budget-busting trip from (to?) HELL.
I have gotten hold of the tarbaby and I can't let go. The total cost, transportation, hotel, etc. is more than I make in a month on pension and S/S.
:argh:

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. Ye cats and little fishes!

Seems to me that the parents might be more considerate of their guests and provide shuttle buses or something. Is this something you can suggest? Or do you know other guests who might be willing to double up on the transportation to the small town?

[trof]

6. Meeting our daughter & family in Major City

for flight to Liddle Bit Bigger Town, so we can split rental car.
Small savings.

[unblock]

2. you can take small solace in this:

the bride and groom, or whoever is paying for the shindig, has already run up a much, MUCH larger tab....

[liberalhistorian]

12. LOL!

How very, very true!

Reminds me of when I, a broke single parent, was a bridesmaid in both my best friend and my stepsister's weddings just eight months apart. The cost of the dress and matching shoes and purse alone for each one was way out of my league at the time, not to mention child care and all of the other myriad and sundry expenses involved in being in a wedding party. I couldn't very well turn either of them down, either, considering the relationship.

To me, weddings seem like nothing but a big time-consuming mega-bucks hassle. I've never been married, but if I'm ever engaged I'll probably either just elope or go to city hall, lol!

[cjm2222]

3. Just tell them you are unable to attend

Be honest. Tell them that, unfortunately, you cannot attend. When the plans were originally made, you thought the wedding would be in a major city. Now, the plans have changed and the added expense is something you cannot afford at this time.

Get the couple a very nice gift with the money you would have spent on plane fare and perhaps take them and the parents out for a nice dinner once they (the newly married couple)get back from their honeymoon. If the parents are as good of friends as you claim, they should understand. You shouldn't have to go broke spending money you need to live on for something that really isn't obligatory.

[trof]

8. Just can't. And...already bought tickets. Non-refundable.

It would be almost like not attending our own child's wedding.
We're that close.
And...they flew from east coast to west coast for our daughter's wedding.
It cost them a few bucks (which they could well afford), but NOTHING LIKE what I'm laying out for this journey.

[sushi]

14. You have bought the tickets

so Have a Great Time at that Wedding!

[trof]

18. Correct answer, oh wise one.

I'm getting it out of my system here.

[Rowdyboy]

4. And the way these things are done now...

the marriage will last about six months. What a total rip.

on edit: couldn't you schedule "emergency" surgery on that date?

[FarmerOak]

5. Since there was no question in the post,

no request for information or advice, it pleases me to not respond.

[trof]

9. Very well.

Thanks for "listening".
;-)

[supernova]

7. Eeeks

I agree with seriously considering declining the invitation and showing your appreciation for the couple in other ways.

I'm presuming this is the groom's home country? Are his family offering to put people up once they get to this little town? And if the party is big enough, get group travel rates?

[trof]

10. Nope, bride's.

We're all coming from different points of the compass to Major City.

[supernova]

11. Well, gee

If you really want to go, the only other thing I can think of is to plan on this being part of a larger trip. Arrange to go somewhere else you've always wanted to see after the wedding. edit: Rationale being that if you're going to blow your budget, you migh as well make it memorable. ;-)

One thing I remember from Rick Steves, he says fly into one destination and fly home from another. You make a big loop, IOW. It somehow costs less than a round trip in/out of the same city.

[liberalhistorian]

13. Hey, Supernova,

how does one join the DU Johnny Depp fan club?

Hell, I'd go all-out to marry HIM in a heartbeat, lol!:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[supernova]

15. Wouldn't we all!

:D

All you have to do to join the JD Fan Club is promise to watch at least two JD movies every week. My personal JD movie collection is up to 10 films and I rotate them frequently in my DVD player depending on my mood. ;-)

[liberalhistorian]

17. Flims?

I didn't know he was in flims, was he in any flams, too? :evilgrin: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[supernova]

20. LOL!

You caught me.

[trof]

16. Been everywhere. Done everything.

Pretty much.
I was an airline pilot.
I retired 5 years ago. Seems like last year.
I said then, and still feel the same way, that if I never got on another airplane that would be just hunk dory with me.

We are spending 3 days in Major City, but it's mainly for my daughter's family to do some sightseeing. I'm looking forward to being with her, our son-in-law (more like a son), and our 2 year old grandson. They live 1500 miles away from us.
But...three more nights in a $$$ hotel.

I've become a gen-yew-wine, bona-fide, gold-plated, stick-in-the-mud stay-at-home. I like it here, and I don't want to go anywhere. I've already been. I would like to take some driving trips around my state and some other fairly nearby spots, but, alas, we have a geriatric dog and diabetic cat who keep us on a very short leash.

Do I get extra points for tangent rant?
;-)

[supernova]

19. Argh! You sound like my dad

used to. He was a stick in the mud without going anywhere though. At least you've been places. My mom wound up taking her dream trip to Europe without him. He wouldn't fly to save his life.

So go, spend money and have a good time, dammit! That's an order. :evilgrin:

[trof]

21. When you get to be my age you sound like everybody's dad.

;-)
Dirty little secret: I get just a teeny bit claustrophobic in the cabin. Cockpit is fine, with all the big windows.
I don't think they'll let me ride there any more.

[supernova]

22. Understandable

those itty bitty porthole windows don't provide much light. Even teeny, tiny me has to scrunch down in my seat to see out.

I won't tell anybody your secret. ;-)