Jesus, I can't take this shit anymore

[Raster]

Thursday, April 3, 2003
Jesus, I can't take this shit anymore

by Patriot the Dog

I just can't take it anymore. My owners are completely fucking fascinated with turning me into some kind of political statement for the entertainment of themselves and their stupid friends. The last straw was the photo at Wal-Mart with the American flag bandanna that I despise. This fucking shit has got to stop. I'm serious.

Look, it's one thing if my owners wanna listen to Daryl Worley and watch NASCAR, that's really none of my business. But dragging my unwilling ass to these so-called pro-America rallies just to show me off to the idiots, dressing me up in camouflage, and training me to bark at the television when Saddam Hussein is on it... Well, this shit's gone way too far.

Even my name is a insult. Patriot. I fucking hate the sound of my name, especially when some mongo is screaming it at me at a pro-war rally. Yeah, that's my name. What's yours, fucknut?

I'm just a dog, for God's sake, but I'm embarrassed as hell. Please don't hold my owner's bullshit against me.

Oh God, my stupid owners. Total white trash. Yeah, I said it, and I'll say it again. White trash hillbilly rednecks. Normally, that'd be fine by me. I mean, these are the types of people that really take care of their pets -- all hundred of us. But goddamn if they piss me off. I watch TV enough to pick up on current events. I'm fairly informed compared to my owners. War-mongering losers.

They'd never know this, but I hate them. Maybe they'll choke on some beef jerky tonight so I can escape this hellhole. All I need is a head start.

http://www.gwbush04.com/contented.php?f=patriot1

[Submariner]

1. White House: Clinton's penis leaked CIA operative's identity

LMAO. Great site. Thanks.

[Supormom]

2. 98% of Americans Don't Care

That one hits a little too close to home!

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Bill Hicks' response to people who ask if he's proud to be an American:

"Well, I didn't have much choice about it. My parents fucked there, that's all. I was saying 'Fuck in Paris! Fuck in Paris!' but apparently they couldn't hear me."

[WilliamPitt]

4. Bah!!!

http://www.gwbush04.com/archives/000286.php

Sovereignty of Iraq to be Turned Over to Random Man

April 21, 2004

Washington — White House officials said today that authority in Iraq will be handed over on June 30 to “some guy” who has been chosen randomly by the President.

The future leader of Iraq, Johnny Turner, a U.S. citizen, has no experience in government or diplomacy, nor a permanent address or any detectable career or job experience.

“This is awesome. I can’t believe this ,” Turner said on his appointment as President of Iraq.

The Pentagon said that power over Iraq would be transferred to Turner amid an increased troop deployment and special operations.