Does anyone else suffer from "TMI Tourette's"?

[geniph]

Do you tell people things they find entirely too much information, entirely too personal, on little or no acquaintance, or am I the only one who does this? I'll basically tell anyone that I'm a bi poly switch married to a bi poly switch - people seem taken aback that I'd share that, but I guess I don't find it any more embarrassing to admit to that than I do to say I'm married. It's not anything I see any reason to be ashamed of, any more than I'm ashamed that I'm 44 (I tell everyone that, too). I'll blurt out the most personal kind of information to people in elevators (presuming it's even remotely germane to the conversation - it's not as if I walk up to strangers on the street and tell them about my sex practices. But if I'm talking to someone and sex comes up, they'll get chapter and verse.)

Besides, it's too exhausting to remember who you can tell what to, so pretty much whatever's in my head comes out my mouth. It does freak people out, though.

Maybe that's why I don't have any close friends in real life!

[curse10]

1. I've been known to have that problem

and I've been trying to get better about it. But I just don't feel like some things are embarrasing.

[geniph]

8. and they shouldn't be embarrassing!

People are so weird about what they consider overly personal. I know a lot of straight folks who think it's TMI for any GLBT person to talk about their partner! "If they'd just quit shoving it in my face by talking about their partner, I and my wife and six children would have no problem with them!"

[Sapphocrat]

2. Hmmm...

I expect it freaks people out because we're conditioned not to trust people who volunteer TMI too "early."

I wouldn't be freaked out by somebody walking up to me at a party and saying, "Hi there, I'm a 44-year-old bi poly switch, and this is my spouse, who's also a bi poly switch -- and who are you?"

But I probably wouldn't want to hear any intimate sex details -- at least not until we became close friends -- probably because if you put those details on the table too early, I might feel I'm expected to reciprocate before I'm ready (assuming I ever will be).

[geniph]

3. I'm actually not too bad about the details part

It's just the revelations themselves that seem to do people in. What brings this to mind right now is that I HORRIFIED some friends a couple of days ago. We were at a yard sale, and I was looking at the books. They were standing behind me, and I just sort of offhandedly said, "My husband would kill me if I brought home more books. Now, men and women, I could bring those home, but not more books." Heard a gasp and turned around to see sheer horror in their faces. These are folks I sing with in the Seattle Lesbian and Gay Chorus, so I wasn't expecting them to be terribly Puritan, but I guess that was still TMI.

It's one of the pitfalls of being a rare Asperger's female. People expect females to have some idea of correct social interaction. Um. Oops?

[Sapphocrat]

5. ROFL...

Now, see, I think that's a great off-the-cuff remark -- and I might use it myself (minus the "men and") just to throw people, even if it weren't true. (fc, if you're reading, you KNOW I'd never mean it with any degree of seriousness. LOL)

So it's your perceived "lifestyle" (I hate that word) that elicits gasps? If that's all it is (and not, "Let me tell you all about the worst urinary tract infection in history, and exactly how I got it..."), then I really don't see the big deal. You're just being honest -- and in the case of the yard sale, honest and funny.

I hope you never reign yourself in. Let 'em be shocked. How else are people ever going to get used to the idea of "non-traditional, non-traditional" ways of life?

P.S. As much as I adore my L/G brethren (and sis-tern), I admit we have a fair number of puritans in our ranks. And I'll admit it took me halfway into my adulthood to become completely comfortable with the concept of bisexuality (you guys DO get the worst of it from both sides). That's a good subject for another day -- "Biphobia, and How I Overcame Baseless Prejudice Against a Huge Branch of My Family Tree."

[geniph]

7. It's kind of funny, because on the chorus,

almost all the younger folks are somewhat ... mobile ... on the Kinsey scale, whereas the older folks are strictly G/L and rather disapproving of those of us "passing for straight" or those on the chorus who are actually straight. I don't know, maybe because it was a couple of the older Lesbians, they were offended by me in general - I'm older, I'm supposed to be more set in my ways. ;-)

[foreigncorrespondent]

12. Yes I am reading it...

...and you had better not mean it. ;)

[geniph]

20. FC, even *I* didn't actually mean it...

I'd never bring anyone home without checking with John first! :D

[TrogL]

4. Definitions, please

TMI?

"Poly switch"?

Tourette's is a larger issue for me. My son was diagnosed with it by a psychologist who claimed Tourtette's was the umbrella diagnosis for all other Autistic Spectrum disorders.

[geniph]

6. TMI=Too Much Information

I take it you figured out the bi part...poly means polyamorous, switch means in relation to playing power exchange games...a switch is neither a top nor a bottom, but can be either.

It's not an actual form of Tourette's - I was using hyperbole to make a point.

I thought autism was the umbrella term...at least, that's what they tell me about Asperger's.

[Misunderestimator]

9. I do it all the time...

I'm thought of as a bit eccentric, but I don't care. Why should eccentricity be wasted on the old? :)

[geniph]

19. Right! I can be the crazy cat lady NOW

and be ordinary when I'm old. Actually, I'll probably be even weirder when I'm older, because I'll care even less what other people think! LOL!

[Misunderestimator]

10. By the way... I think it's very cool that you're so open. n/t

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

11. Poly seems like the last (or latest) big wall

Even Dan Savage, that advisor on all things kinky, seems resistant to the idea that one can love more than one at one time.

Parents can love more than one child; nobody argues with that. But lovers loving more than one lover? Self-delusional, some will say. Sex maniacs, say others. There isn't that much love to spread around. "Real love" doesn't work that way. Impossible.

Well, to each his owns. :D

[geniph]

18. I think people have a hard time

giving up the idea that the degree of jealousy and possessiveness measures the amount of love. To me, the two emotions - possessiveness and love - are completely antithetical. If you truly love someone, you want whatever makes them happy, you don't want to own or possess them. And jealousy is simple insecurity - "they must like them better than me, because I'm so fat/thin/young/old/tall/short."

Once you have complete confidence in your partner's love for you, then there is no reason for jealousy and possessiveness, which opens up a whole new world of possibilities. Not one-night stands per se (not to knock the zipless fuck, it's got its place too), but loving more. I know a number of people who've lived in successful triads or larger families for years.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

22. Agreed.

I think people consider monogamy to be "fair," which means polyamory must be unfair.

You mention you tell friends and strangers; do you tell colleagues at work?

[foreigncorrespondent]

13. geniph...

...I am Australian, of course I suffer from TMI Tourette's. ;)

Not so much with my fellow Aussies, because we are all so laid back. But I admit, I have shocked the shit out of many American friends over the years. LOL

I remember a long time ago in an AOL chat room (one I happened to be very famous in LOL) a British friend and I had the whole room in shock, because we were there talking about sex. We had no idea that it was going to shock people. Luckily for us, the room got so used to us, and they realized that this is basically how we are, and we aren't about to change.

[geniph]

16. See, I knew there was a reason I liked Aussies!

Y'all are my kind of people - blunt, tactless, raunchy, and funny! :D

(You and a *British* friend had the room in shock talking about sex? A Brit was shocking people??? LOL!)

[Missy Vixen]

14. I'm the one everyone tells their stuff to

Geniph, do you go to the 8th Congressional Convention, or where are you going to be on Saturday? We had such a great time visiting with you, your friend, and JohnyAwl last time.

Back to the subject at hand. I have the opposite problem: I am typically the person everyone wants to tell anything to. I don't mind. Most of the time, it's pretty interesting. I do my best to be a good listener. I do mind, though, when people think that they can guilt me or head trip me into fighting their battles for them, or being used as a dumping ground. We've had several neighbors try this one; my response is to cut. them. off. I'm polite, I'm noncommittal, and I back away. I'm sure that there are people who think I'm pretty weird as a result.

We have a mutual friend, who has nothing but great things to say about you, too. It's a wonderful thing to meet anyone who's what Eric and I call "wysiwyg", "what you see is what you get." I'm glad that you are who you are!

Julie

[geniph]

15. I'll be there on Saturday!

(running against you for delegate!) Have you been getting thousands of letters and phone calls from other delegate candidates? It's driving me crazy. I didn't realize I was supposed to campaign that hard. I have a speech, but I'm not calling or mailing people at home! Jeebus! That's hard-core.

Actually, we probably won't be running directly against each other - I think the Dean delegates elect their own National delegates, and we Kerryfolk will elect ours.

People who've known me online have been really surprised to find out that I am pretty much exactly the same in RL as I am online. I guess that's unusual. I'm pretty blunt and tactless, I suppose. I don't really understand the purpose of some social restrictions. So people who don't like that avoid me, which is pretty much okay with me, as I'd rather not walk on eggshells anyway.

[BigMcLargehuge]

17. what's this about sex practices??

[geniph]

21. Do you need practice?

Class starts at 7 p.m. sharp! BYO electrical devices!