What's on TV?

[ForrestGump]

Decided to see whether the TV channel lineup offered a kind of glimpse into America today. Not sure, but it's a snapshot of the offerings in my neighborhood this afternoon...

1 (Hallmark) Bonanza
2 (CBS) News - Florida millionaire sueing Atkins people
3 (QVC) Gemfest
4 (NBC) News -- dental clinic fees
5 (KTLA) Fresh Prince of Bel Air
6 (Leased Channel) ShopNBC shopping channel (selling jewelry)
7 (ABC) Geico put to the test
8 (KCET - PBS) Nightly Business Report -- what industries will benefit if Bush is elected
9 (KCAL) Elimidate
10 (local access) Ronco knives infomercial
11 (KTTV) A cursed Old navy commercial
12 (KRCA - Spanish language) An insurance commercial in Spanish
13 (KCOP - UPN) The Parkers
14 (KMEX - Spanish language) Primer Impacto
15 (KFTR - Spanish language) Commercial for...I have no idea, but women in skimpy bikinis seem to be relevant
16 (KDOC) Advil commercial
17 (KLCS - PBS) Standard Deviation (waves involved in earthquakes)
18 (KSCI — paid programming) Some skin product, an infomercial
19 (KOCE) The Universe: The Infinite (about Ganymede)
20 (TBN) Leading The Way -- some British, South African, or similar charisma-free televangelist
21 (KVEA - Spanish language) That GE ad, with lassie taking on a mountain lion, dubbed in Espanol
22 (KWHY - Spanish language) Pizza Hut ad in Spanish
23 (Discovery) Cousins (Japanese snow macaques)
24 (TBS-W) Baseball: Phillies vs Angels
25 (public access) Some insane woman raving on about something
27 (KXLA — paid programming) Honda of Santa Ana
28 (KAZA - Spanish language) An ad for gelatin (brand name) in Spanish
29 (Home Shopping Network) Diamond rings
30 (KPXN) Baseball -- some team with a bird on their hats vs the Angels. On second thought, maybe the TBS game was with the Braves.
31 (KJLA — paid programming) Some Spanish music video
33 (KHIZ) Ricki Lake -- "60 Days to be a Video Girl!"
34 (CNBC) The wireless networking ad with the marionette (Best Buy)
35 (LACTY) LA City -- how to provide anonymous tips for crimes witnessed, along with visuals related to a $25000 reward for multiple homicide
36 (EDUC) People sitting around a table and talking about classes they're taking
37 (Travel Channel) Road Trip -- Watts Towers (show on Route 66)
41 (KVMD) Fitness infomercial -- "Power 90"
42 (HBO-W) The Secret Garden
43 (National Geographic) Killer Ice
44 (MUN2 - Spanish language) A Spanish music video
45 (MTV-W) The Real World...'Real'????
46 (Fox Sports 1) NASCAR report
47 (FSW) I Max....some weird sports discussion show
48 (AMC) Star Trek III
49 (USA-W) Walker, Texas Ranger
50 (Court TV) NYPD Blue
51 (CNN) Larry King..I can't watch! His very presence freaks me out!! ("Macauley Culkin Tells All!")
52 (Headline News) Tracking Terrorism
53 (Fox News) Hannity & Colmes -- quick, change the channel! (Bob Dole talking about contrast between WWII and today...Hannity scumbag criticizing President Gore)
54 (Style) MSN commercial
55 (Cartoon Network) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
56 (Family Channel) Full House
57 (Nickelodeon) Some commercial with those two most bodacious tennis players whose names momentarily escapes me -- Venus is one of them.
58 (Disney) That's So Raven
59 (Lifetime) Golden Girls
60 (A&E) City Confidential -- documentary about Fort Lauderdale
61 (GALA - Spanish language) El Chavo
62 (FSE - Spanish language) Futbal...Ok.soccer, in Spanish. No idea who's playing, or where. Fox Sports en Espanol.
63 (ESPN2) Women's baseball (Washington vs Oklahoma)
64 (ESPN) Stanley Cup
65 (FX-W) Commercial for the Miracle DVD (speaking of hockey)
66 (TNT) NBA game -- Lakers vs someone else (Minneapolis?...abbreviated to 'MIN')
67 (VH1-W) Banned! The World's Sexiest Videos
68 (COM-W) Greyhound commercial
69 (TLC-W) Clean Sweep
70 (HGTV-W) Adelphia high-speed internet commercial
71 (Food Channel) 30-minute Meals
72 (MSNBC) Deborah Norville Tonight -- Falsely Accused Terror Suspect
73 (SPK+) Real TV -- someone loses a body part
74 (BET) Top 10 --crap...I mean....rap video
75 (E!) Celebrities Uncensored...except, of course, they actually are
76 (Animal Planet) Most Extreme -- peacock courtship and human male hair issues
77 (CSPAN+) American Idol...no, not the American Idol, but someone reminiscing at the National WWII Memorial about daylight bombing raids (oh, dude...it's George McGovern)
78 (Weather Channel) Bad storms in Kentucky
97 (EDUC+) M*A*S*H* -- with Henry Blake!
119 (National Geographic) Dell computer commercial
120 (NOG/N) Sabrina, The Teenaged Witch...Salem the Cat rules!
121 (Disney Kids) Commercial for Disney movie music compilation CDs
122 (NickToons) Tiny Toons Adventures
123 (GTV) Hearing aid commercial
128 (Bloomberg) Bloomberg Live -- news reports
146 (FMC) Tony Rome (in letterbox format)
160 (Sci Fi) Boa vs Python
161 (GSN) Snickers commercial
162 (BBC) Trailer Park Boys
163 (TV Land) Pizza Hut commercial
181 (Bravo) Made in Heaven
182 (Ovation) Beat Route: Chicago
201 (DHOME) Commercial for Discovery Home Channel
220 (Discovery Health) Berman and Berman -- people at a dinner table talking about orgasms. No sign of Meg Ryan. Oh, cool --now they're talking about sexual positions, starting with the 'Warrior Position' and its pros and cons (going to have to come back to this channel).
222 (Fit TV) Fitness Fantasy...misleading title...no warrior Position here.
231 (ILIFE) Commercial for bluegrass CD series
240 (IC -- sounds like Chinese language) International News in undetermined language, probably Chinese
271 (DTMS) Wayne Brady in an ad for Avaya
272 (The Science Channel) Frontiers -- bridge construction
274 (Discovery Wings) Wings -- icing on a DC-3
277 (The History Channel) Wild West Tech
294 (TECH) Secret, Strange, And True
401 (Fox Sports World) Soccer from somewhere
402 (ESPN News) Baseball stats
404 (Outdoor Life) Clif Bar commercial
405 (GOLF) Women's Golf
406 (OUTCN) Commercial for bass-fishing boat
407 (ESPNC) Grand Prix racing
408 (SPEED) Commercial for 'Quaker Steak and Lube' -- I'm serious!
471 (VH1-C) VH1 Country Music -- some video by interchangeable beautiful Nashville babes
472 (MTV-H) MTV videos -- Madonna
473 (VH1CR) Request Hour -- more videos, no idea who the performer is (so far it's all synthesizer)
474 (VH1SO) VH1 Soul Videos -- they call this 'soul' these days?!?
481 (BET Jazz) Journey with Jazz
501 (TCM) The Singing Nun
502 (WE) Commercial for baby decor at Burlington Coat Factory
503 (IFC) Mulholland Falls
505 (Sundance) John Henrik Clarke
520 (Love W) My Father, The Hero
522 (MYSTw) The Bank
524 (WSTRNw) Gunsmoke
528 (TRUEw) No Child Of Mine
530 (ACTIONw) Yongary Monster
535 (Starz-W) The Pianist
536 (Starz-TW) Little Secrets
537 (BSTZ) The Inkwell
538 (Encore W) The Lord Of The Rings
553 (HBO 2W) Lovely And Amazing
555 (HBO SW) The Ring
557 (HBO FW) 30 By 30: Kid Flicks
561 (Cinemax W) New Jack City
565 (MMX-W) Lantana
576 (Showtime W) Love Field
578 (Showtime Too W) Teaser for upcoming film
580 (Showtime C W) The Bed Sitting Room
582 (Showtime X W) The Final Option
591 (TMC W) Mimic 2
593 (TMC X W) For Pete's Sake
Next four channels, all Spanish-language, not availanble. Ditto 605 (VH1 By Request)
606 (MTV Spanish) Spanish music videos
Next three (two Spanish-language) and 16 pay-per-view (including two wrestling channels and two Spice channels) are also not available.

The rest: 900, 902, 903, 904, 905, 907, 911, 912, 913, 914, 915, 916, 917, 918, 919, 920, 921, 922, 923, 924, 925, 926, 927, 928, 929, 930, 931, 932, 933, 934, 935, 936, 940, 941, 943, 944, 945, 950, 951, 952, 953, 954, 955, 956, and 957 are all digital music channels that cover every conceivable genre, subgenre, and period of music.

As you can see, there's some good stuff on, but I'm still too often reminded of that Bruce Springsteen song, "57 Channels and Nothin' On."

[ForrestGump]

1. Hey! Get this out of here!

I think it's more properly for the Lounge, if anywhere.

Oops.

[AlCzervik]

2. well what is this?

3 (QVC) Gemfest?

[ForrestGump]

4. Selling lotsa jewelry on the QVC channel

Consume!

Consume!

[movonne]

3. Do you pay extra for all those channels????if so not getting your

moneys worth.

[ForrestGump]

5. I split the bill with the person I'm staying with now...good deal,

considering the almost universal monopolistic ripoff that is cable, that includes cable modem service, etc. If it were just me, I'd never pay extra for those premium channels, but the deal is a special one that basically throws them all in for free (compared to what basic cable and internet connections go for around here).