Freeper gay quiz! - Democratic Underground

Archae

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Thu Jun-03-04 02:33 PM
Original message

Freeper gay quiz!

Edited on Thu Jun-03-04 02:34 PM by Archae

Friend of mine sent this to me, here's how Freepers know who is gay and who isn't! :D

Gay Test:

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have instead spent your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. (And let's face it: anyone who "runs" as exercise is highly suspect too.)

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog........but gay. It grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, Tootsie-Roll pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, fried chicken wings, raw oysters, pickled pigs feet, the occasional cigar.............. or breasts. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, let's be honest: you like a high hard one you know where. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe 'Americano Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NBA, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is , buddy you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim , you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it......you're hungry for a meat Popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger or hold his beer.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly.

9. If you drink a Low Carb beer........well, never mind.....it's just pretty obvious.