Wal-Mart Application

[papau]

Wal-Mart Application

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas .... and they hired him because he
was so honest and funny!

NAME: George Martin
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person (or one who'll
cooperate)
DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer
and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens
and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p. m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
CAPABLE OF LIFTING UP TO 50 Lbs.?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks no.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who
thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF
YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Sagittarius

[BigMcLargehuge]

1. I think this is an urban myth...

I saw it 5 years ago as a "McDonalds" application with the same description, hired for honesty... blah... blah...

I'd look at snopes.com, but I'm at work and sort of busy.

[dofus]

2. Yep, urban myth.

Snopes has it as a McDonald's app. Check it out:
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.htm

[BigMcLargehuge]

4. thanks dofus :)

I knew someone would have the answer :)

[GypsyBob1]

3. I have this dream of working at WalMart:

I go there and tell them that, more than anything in the world, I want to be a WalMart Greeter – one of those people that says hi to ‘folks’ as they come in.

I would tell the hiring manager that I just LOVE people, and I LOVE sharing smiles.

As an eager go-getter, they’d hire me on the spot.

I’d show for my first day, and probably spent several hours filling out forms, watching training videos, meeting the ‘team’, learning the team cheer, all of which I would do with eagerness and enthusiasm.

Then, the manager would walk me to the door to begin my official duties. He say ‘good luck’, or ‘go get ‘em, tiger’, and as he turned to leave, my first ‘guest’ would come in.

In a load, clear voice, full of confidence as cheer, I’d say ‘Hello, welcome to Crap-Mart!!!’